Gormur
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Cocaine/Crack: Serious Discussion Only
- Thread starter chicpoena
- Start date
Mystery Brew
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the jonesin' is really getting to my head. Couple nights of pure stress from school, life in general. I even walked past a gas station and smelt a smell that i could never mistake
I dont even know what to say next..
I dont even know what to say next..
Mystery Brew
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i'm experiencing the same thing right now.
hope everything is well. Swing a msg if ya wanna talk
travelaroundNC
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Same thing here - crack sucks - - wonderful high but if I buy some and think "yeah, I'll smoke a little now and save the rest for the weekend" once I start I smoke up the whole batch. I am really making an effort to cut way back despite my dealer calling me and texting me everyday.
velvetacidchrist
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For anyone who hasn't seen it... Rats on Cocaine, watch episodes 1 & 2. Hilarious.
http://www.apocalypsecartoons.com/roc/roc.html
http://www.apocalypsecartoons.com/roc/roc.html
kzorro
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Coke's got me in the most trouble of any drug, not surprisingly. I've stolen so much from myself and from my future by using that shit. I'm two weeks clean today miraculously. I'm in an intensive outpatient program and get tested randomly so that helps a little bit, and I go to C(N)(A)/A meetings which sucks up time and keeps me from getting yakked, but the craving is still there. I can't help but think about it anytime I see a small mirror, picture frame, straw, and the other night I got a whiff of ceasar salad dressing and that reminded me of coke! Before I got put in the outpatient program that shit was stealing my life. I ended up in the hospital the morning after taking some coke, heroin and temazepam in a night. My friends were worried shitless and told me never to do that again. So I never did THAT again, but two days later I was doing the coke/opiates combo with no regard for what had happened just a couple days ago. My best friend/roomate was about to move out because of my use, someone who I thought was a really good friend (and a full time using buddy) just stopped talking to me out of the blue because I used too much, and my all respect and trust from my family was gone... Fuck I'm glad to be off that shit ATM.
Mystery Brew
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nothing ever can replace how great i feel on cocaine, nada. Ive slowed my use alot, but theres still the urge to geeeeeek to cloud 9, ever day..its taking its toll i telll you what. idk that shit got me really depressed, because i know for certain that nothing can match that high...ever. crumbling my socially anxious self was a huge huge huge incentive to kept with that flow. eh idk what to do with myself. 3 weeks or so clean atleast if that really makes a huge difference from the 1 st day
How's everyone going in this thread? There were some posts that really touched me, and I wonder how things would have been if it was cheaper, more accessible and more potent here? Who knows?
7 weeks clean and going strong. I've had one or two other breaks like this since I first succumbed to coke but I'm still working the bar and not even being tempted anymore. All I want is a quiet drink of Belvedere and go on home to a warm bed. Body feels better than ever before and although I don't think I'll ever be free of my friend Charlie, I think I'm on my way to coming to terms with it in my own way.
Who knows, we might get reacquainted again at some point in the future, strictly on my own terms, but we're just taking an extended break, one week at a time.
7 weeks clean and going strong. I've had one or two other breaks like this since I first succumbed to coke but I'm still working the bar and not even being tempted anymore. All I want is a quiet drink of Belvedere and go on home to a warm bed. Body feels better than ever before and although I don't think I'll ever be free of my friend Charlie, I think I'm on my way to coming to terms with it in my own way.
Who knows, we might get reacquainted again at some point in the future, strictly on my own terms, but we're just taking an extended break, one week at a time.
travelaroundNC
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I hear ya j-bird ... whenI go 2 weeks or so without doing any coke or crack I start feeling really good - sleep well, feel good physically, mind is sharp, love eating and can put on a little weight which is good. That's the trick, being able to party once or twice a month without it consuming our lives. If we cannot control it better to stay away all-together.
PetSMiLE
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That is a great way to put it... I never liked coke very much. Unless I'm drunk and have already taken a line... then I can't stop.
To each their own but I always struggled with opiates wayyyy more as far as addictive potential. Coke is only addictive the night you use it, IMO
I mean who is every ready to stop doing cocaine??
PetSMiLE
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Exactly. The same goes with any DOC, be it coke, heroin/opiates, mdma, etc...
allisnotrite
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I have had more than my fair share than the colubian marching powder and i first was offerd a line in 2001 by my step brother and oh my god do i wish i never!
Lost my job then my girl and then half my ear (long story) and in 06 lost my family and to top it all ended up in gaol for 16 months but on the day of my release i was given a line and since being free i have lost a year even stayed awake for 8 yes 8 days stright but even though i have always said i take coke an coke dont take me an i can stop when i want?
I could but i still dont want to how sick is that?
Lost my job then my girl and then half my ear (long story) and in 06 lost my family and to top it all ended up in gaol for 16 months but on the day of my release i was given a line and since being free i have lost a year even stayed awake for 8 yes 8 days stright but even though i have always said i take coke an coke dont take me an i can stop when i want?
I could but i still dont want to how sick is that?
allisnotrite, welcome to BL. Hope you can find the strength and support that you're looking for here.
I gotta say that I've been pretty shit with this lately too. 7 weeks? How the mighty fall. The endless cycle just goes on and on; looking for reasons to get bent, looking for occasions to call that number, looking for people to party with.
Sometimes, I try to convince myself that it's just me, I'm just after a great time, who can blame me? I'm not hurting anyone. I'm just the guy at the end of the chain, enjoying a few lines and a couple of drinks.
I still find myself hating it, hating what it does to me.
But I love it, I love what it gives to me as well.
I need to make this stop.
I gotta say that I've been pretty shit with this lately too. 7 weeks? How the mighty fall. The endless cycle just goes on and on; looking for reasons to get bent, looking for occasions to call that number, looking for people to party with.
Sometimes, I try to convince myself that it's just me, I'm just after a great time, who can blame me? I'm not hurting anyone. I'm just the guy at the end of the chain, enjoying a few lines and a couple of drinks.
I still find myself hating it, hating what it does to me.
But I love it, I love what it gives to me as well.
I need to make this stop.
Crack Addiction
Hello everyone,
I think that my life could have spiraled out of control if I didn't stop using crack cocaine. It started with powder for a few months, then decided to try crack. After my first time using, I never went back to powder. This went on for about 5-6 months, spending about a $100/day on average just getting high. It was to the point where I was not associating myself with anyone other than people who wanted to get high with me. With crack, it was a love/hate relationship. I loved the first few hits, then after that, I would have serious anxiety and paranoia. For me at least, the paranoia was the worst side effect of crack, because I would literally "freak out" when I was on it. I would sit in my bathroom with the door closed and hear shit that wasn't even there (like the cops trying to come in). I would constantly have my eye out the window and out the peephole at my front door when I would leave the bathroom and I thought I was seeing flashlights and hearing cops talking about how they were going to get into my house and arrest me. It still wonders me why I kept on smoking crack even though I hated the paranoia and it would continue throughout the comedown when I was lying in my bed trying to go to sleep after I ran out.
Has anyone else experienced this type of extreme paranoia when they smoked crack?
Hello everyone,
I think that my life could have spiraled out of control if I didn't stop using crack cocaine. It started with powder for a few months, then decided to try crack. After my first time using, I never went back to powder. This went on for about 5-6 months, spending about a $100/day on average just getting high. It was to the point where I was not associating myself with anyone other than people who wanted to get high with me. With crack, it was a love/hate relationship. I loved the first few hits, then after that, I would have serious anxiety and paranoia. For me at least, the paranoia was the worst side effect of crack, because I would literally "freak out" when I was on it. I would sit in my bathroom with the door closed and hear shit that wasn't even there (like the cops trying to come in). I would constantly have my eye out the window and out the peephole at my front door when I would leave the bathroom and I thought I was seeing flashlights and hearing cops talking about how they were going to get into my house and arrest me. It still wonders me why I kept on smoking crack even though I hated the paranoia and it would continue throughout the comedown when I was lying in my bed trying to go to sleep after I ran out.
Has anyone else experienced this type of extreme paranoia when they smoked crack?
I have never experienced horrible paranoia on crack, but I have had small bits where I was probably right to be paranoid... this would be when i was smoking crack in my home as a teenager, taking a blast before my shower, smoking in my closet at night because I could not wait until the morning, etc. All these times I would be so scared my parents would come in and find me using, I would take a blast and sit with my ears perked for any stir or noise.
I did use with one woman about five times who was super-paranoid like you explained... always looking out the windows, peepholes, checking locks, not responding to anyone because of whatever she was imagining. I vividly remember her being in like slow motion -- very slowly put a chunk in her pipe, hit it, exhale, all while staring out the window, only glancing down at the drug to make sure of the amount and if it was melted onto the pipe properly. She was a real buzzkill to be around, made me paranoid watching her.
I liked to have fun while smoking. I would make up little games like spinning after taking a hit to make the ringer hit faster, smoking in a bathroom to listen to the tinny sound the fan or running water makes after a hit, sitting face in front of fan after a good hit, feeling the air on your face and distortion of your voice. It's all fun until you realize you are desperate for that next hit -- then you see that it's not so fun anymore and it's scary the pull it has on you .
I did use with one woman about five times who was super-paranoid like you explained... always looking out the windows, peepholes, checking locks, not responding to anyone because of whatever she was imagining. I vividly remember her being in like slow motion -- very slowly put a chunk in her pipe, hit it, exhale, all while staring out the window, only glancing down at the drug to make sure of the amount and if it was melted onto the pipe properly. She was a real buzzkill to be around, made me paranoid watching her.
I liked to have fun while smoking. I would make up little games like spinning after taking a hit to make the ringer hit faster, smoking in a bathroom to listen to the tinny sound the fan or running water makes after a hit, sitting face in front of fan after a good hit, feeling the air on your face and distortion of your voice. It's all fun until you realize you are desperate for that next hit -- then you see that it's not so fun anymore and it's scary the pull it has on you .
Vladimir777
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- Jan 10, 2006
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I was more like the last user in terms of paranoia. I haven't shot coke that many times, but the more I did it, the more it got to my head. Every time I took a shower I would think I heard my parents banging on the door because they found my needles, I was constantly hearing things that weren't there. I thought I heard my mom go into the bathroom with bags of coke and heroin out and dozens of needles and cottons and a spoon, etc. That freaked me out so bad, I thought for sure I was busted and that my mom went in there because my dad was in the other bathroom, but it was all in my head! Does it take longer to get this kind of paranoia when you are snorting versus smoking or shooting? I would suspect so.