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Women and Badboys

N

Ninae

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 18, 2010
Messages
4,522
Do anyone else here tend to fall for badboys?

Don't get me wrong, I also like good guys, they have their own charm, but most of the time I seem to fall for badboys. I just like antisocial guys, and don't seem to care if a guy gets himself into any kind of trouble, as long as I don't perceive him as a personal threat (which is a dealbreaker).

Like, the first guy I met that even interested me after meeting my BF, he was even worse. Or, he is very warm/friendly, which is also a reason I like him, but then I found out he has been banned from everywhere with a liquor licence in my town, so he can't go out anywhere, and do things like get into fights, do damage to cars for revenge, etc. It's almost like I can sense it.
 
You like bad boys, huh? Then I bet you'd love me! Here, let me tell you a little bit about myself...

It all started for me not long ago when I began copying movies for my friends and family. I knew then that there was no going back after facing five years in federal prison and a $250,000 fine for the unauthorized reproduction and distribution of Good Burger. Piracy is still something that I do from time to time, and even now, I've got something like half a dozen people all up in my torrents gettin' that Good Burger, but it's nothing... and I've grown much badder still. Just the other day, I took my lunch break at work without clocking out first. Yeah, clocking out before taking a lunch break is clearly stated in the employee handbook that I've read cover-to-cover and on more than one occasion, but you think I care? No way! And when my boss asked me where I've been for the past fifteen minutes (it was really more like 20! ;)), I told her I had a tummy ache and was using the men's room. Ha! She believed me, too! Yeah, so, I guess you could say that I'm a real Fonzarelli, a real bad boy. I just don't follow the rules...
 
^hardy har fucking har man.

Seriously though I laughed my ass off when I read this. You a bad motherfucker bro taking a 20 minute lunch break instead of 15 who woulda thunk of it?
 
my ex first liked me because it appeared i had the whole bad boy thing going, so she lied and said she was into drugs (what the fuck) when she really loathed them. And i only found this out like 14 months into our relationship, i loved her for who she was not because i thought she took drugs... then after 19months she realised i wasn't a 'badboy' i was an emotionally unstable drug abuser... and dumped me... fuck.. sorry for ranting off topic
 
monkeyemergency said:
my ex first liked me because it appeared i had the whole bad boy thing going, so she lied and said she was into drugs (what the fuck) when she really loathed them. And i only found this out like 14 months into our relationship, i loved her for who she was not because i thought she took drugs... then after 19months she realised i wasn't a 'badboy' i was an emotionally unstable drug abuser... and dumped me... fuck.. sorry for ranting off topic
Click to expand...

cant fake a personality before you eventually have t be real, its a slippery slope
 
Sorry don't fall for bad-boys, but I've had younger females fall for me, because they assumed that I fit that role. Former Military, Combat Arms with combat experience, Anarcho-Capitalist all of that seems to be something that makes some girls get excited. I honestly do not get the infatuation.

Most of the time it's those girls looking for someone exciting for thrills that can obviously still take care of them by default of them being able to take care of themselves. Most often for the younger guys it's just their lack of maturity showing through that fool's the girls. The reality of the situation will obviously come out after a period of time. The first time a guy like that tells the girl to give him money, the reality should be apparent. This is something I have seen with friends of mine getting into it with a supposed "Bad-Boy" type.

Most people that assume the Bad-Boy type are really faking the funk.
 
I don't really fall for bad boys. Yeah, I guess they are exciting, but I wouldn't want to be scared that something bad will happen anytime I'm with them.
 
^ I think there has to be a balance. She has to find guys that intrigue her but aren't assholes.

It seems to me that a lot of girls are attracted to a guy with a certain type of flaws. It's like a mysterious vibe that they're drawn to or something. I don't know exactly, I'm a guy, but I definitely notice that women seem to notice a guy who lets his flaws hang out. I think a woman may have actually pointed this out to me... I definitely notice it now though.
 
Oh, I thought there would be some funny replies from guys, but was thinking more about what thoughts other females have about this. I just notice that I don't just have an accepting attitude towards it but that it even provokes a positive response. Like, I haven't met any other guy that's remotely interested me in ages, and as soon as I meet a guy who's even more crazy I immediately think if I was single I would go for him.

Not that I really care, you like who you like, but sometimes it makes me stop to think how crazy it is. I get that women are programmed to look for protectors, or there probably wouldn't be such a thing as an attraction to that type of guys, as they tend to be a challenge to deal with and are high-maintainance in many ways. You can't be too delicate with a guy like that, but just the fact that you need to put him first makes you feel he's higher value than you otherwise would.

As for women, though there are many who are attracted to guys like that I'm sure there are just as many who aren't. Badboys are more for women who feel safe around men, while women who feel threatened by men tend to go for more harmless guys, but I don't really like a guy who's too harmless. It just makes him seem weak (or less strong) and like he might not be able to defend himself or those close to him, and that makes me feel he's a bit useless. Anyhow, if your fear of men is greater than your fear of the outside world you won't be drawn to guys like that.
 
I dont understand the whole bad boy appeal. Like when a girl says "I only like guys with tatoos" or someshit like that I immediately lose a large amount of respect for them. It seems like such a dumb way to go about picking someone for a relationship.

This is probably because im pretty much the exact opposite of a "bad boy".
 
Ehh...I used to think it was the most riduculous topic in the world and wouldn't even engage in it. But then I had some interesting experiences that made me see it a bit differently. I don't mean I go for bikers or stereotypical bad guys like that, it's not that straightforward, and a lot of them only reveal themselves like that over time.

It's not that I go out looking for that type of guy. It just sort of happens, and for the most part I haven't been very aware of it and liked them for some other reason and felt that I liked them despite of it, but it gradually dawned on me that I probably also like them because of it. Though I think part of that also is that they remind me of guys I've loved be for, so it's easier to transfer those feelings on them, because love is also a kind of transference.

And if you're a nice guy of course you're going to hate it when girls go for guys like that, because they go to the other team. Kind of like how women who aren't sluts feel when guys go for them. Then again good girls and bad boys seem to have some kind of fascination for each other, or badboys tend to fall for good girls as well. There's also the idea that badboys attract hotter girls, which I think there's probably something to, as it takes more self esteem and emotional strength to be involved with a guy like that. But any girl with a nervous disposition is less likely to go for those guys.
 
It always appeared to me to be the exact opposite: That women with less self-esteem went for guys like that. Women with true self-respect have certainly expectations in how they should be treated, and "bad boys" can rarely keep up.
 
They attract their share of fucked-up girls. But not all guys like that treat women like shit or are complete assholes. That wouldn't be acceptable to me and is not really the kind of badboy I'm talking about. But if it's more just that a guy tends to get himself into trouble, this is something I see more as his problem, and not really something I need to worry about. Also, I don't mind if a guy gets aggressive to stand up for himself or when he gets provoked, I just think that's fair. As long as he's not a moron about it and goes around starting things just for fun.
 
That's what I also used to say. But it doesn't mean it was really true. It was more the way I chose to see them, I just preferred to focus on their good sides, and either chose to repress their other sides or think I didn't like it. But I don't think it can really be like that and there must also be something I like about it. I never meant to say I'm attracted to badboys in the cliched sense, indeed there are few I really like, I just feel there must be some kind of valid reason for it.
 
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