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few questions about recovering from opiate dependance..

G

g0d00

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 19, 2007
Messages
98
I have always used this forum to find information about drugs, etc. and it has always been a good place, with good people who usually know what they're talking about. I may have, in the past, offended people on this board: for which i appologise. I have some questions about opiate addiction.

I used raw opium for about a year, and am now 10 days into detox. I feel the withdrawals lessening, but as I do I just feel this deep emptiness. Like an itch in my brain that nothing seems to get to. I just cant hit that spot with anything anymore. I excercise and try to eat right, but is there anything I can do other than just wait..?

I've started NA meetings as soon as I got back from the city I detoxed in. I used weed to cope with withdrawals from said opium.. and benzos to actually sleep durring those. I only took the benzos the first few days of w/d's but I do smoke green daily.. AND NOW my sponsor says my 10 days from opium doesnt count since I smoked and everything!

So my question is, how should I deal with this? Should I continue with meetings everyday..even tho my clean time doesnt count? Should I quit smoking now..when I'm still unfcomfortrable from opiate withdrawals or wait untill I'm good and ready?

I'm serious about getting clean, I figured this was the best place to ask.
 
First off congratulations on quitting thats huge man! I personally think NA is a cult that should be avoided like the plague but you gotta make your own decisions about that. I say do whatever you gotta do to get off the opiates. Why are you so concerned whether some other person tells you your clean time counts you quit for you not for some person youve known less then a week. If you need someone impartial to talk to then I recomend a phycologist I know therapy has helped me understand why I got addicted in the first place.
 
g0d00 said:
I have always used this forum to find information about drugs, etc. and it has always been a good place, with good people who usually know what they're talking about. I may have, in the past, offended people on this board: for which i appologise. I have some questions about opiate addiction.

I used raw opium for about a year, and am now 10 days into detox. I feel the withdrawals lessening, but as I do I just feel this deep emptiness. Like an itch in my brain that nothing seems to get to. I just cant hit that spot with anything anymore. I excercise and try to eat right, but is there anything I can do other than just wait..?

I've started NA meetings as soon as I got back from the city I detoxed in. I used weed to cope with withdrawals from said opium.. and benzos to actually sleep durring those. I only took the benzos the first few days of w/d's but I do smoke green daily.. AND NOW my sponsor says my 10 days from opium doesnt count since I smoked and everything!

So my question is, how should I deal with this? Should I continue with meetings everyday..even tho my clean time doesnt count? Should I quit smoking now..when I'm still unfcomfortrable from opiate withdrawals or wait untill I'm good and ready?

I'm serious about getting clean, I figured this was the best place to ask.
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Good job on being clean from opium from 10 days :) . I think your sponsor is being a asshole nazi for saying those 10 days don't count simply because you where smoking cannabis :X . If it helps the way you feel after withdrawals then i would say to quit smoking it when you feel like it. It's not like cannabis is going to fuck you up or anything and it does help with acute wd's as well as the lingering symptoms you can have as well. That's just your sponsors opinion and you have to remember he is basing his opinion on well his opinion :\ that seems clouded by NA anti-drug propaganda. There is a huge difference between cannabis and opium so you should congratulate yourself on being clean 10 days. It's up to you to keep going to the meetings but is there anyway you can get another sponsor? The last thing you want is someone being nothing but a drag on you and being discouraging.

Remember that with any substance feeling normal after quitting takes time. This is just your brain adjusting to not having your DOC all the time. So it's natural to have that itch and 10 days is not even a long time when it comes to quitting opiates. I have never tried opium but after being addicted to mostly morphine but also hydromorphone, fentanyl and oxycodone i do know abit about opiate wd

Hang in there man things will get easier.
 
g0d00,

It sounds like NA has the same people as AA and the only difference is what they consumed.

Your sponsor is right that you haven't been sober if you've smoked weed...but in your case I see it a little different than he does! You’re doing what you have to do right now to stop the opium. You haven't done the opium for 11 days now and it doesn't matter what anyone says, nothing is going to change that! Once you get over the opium addiction then worry about the weed. Take one day and one thing at a time.

Right now one day means a lot to you without the opium! Your sponsor is an ass for not seeing it like that and not patting you on the back. Now if you continue to use weed to get high once it's no longer needed as a tool for stopping the opium, then there's no other way to call it than the way your sponsor is. Would it make any difference to him if you were taking a “prescribed harder drug” to ease the WD’s?

Should I continue with meetings everyday..even tho my clean time doesnt count?
Click to expand...

When it comes down to it, what makes the difference about yesterday...isn't it "One Day At A Time" that's what really is supposed to count? 5 years from now, is it really going to matter that it's only a meager 1825 days and not a great big old 1836 days? ;) BTW, I didn’t add in the two upcoming leap years in that time frame, so give yourself a couple of free days to use where needed. :)

When I was in AA back in the 70's we had the dickheads just like yours. I recall getting so sick my first year in AA from the flu that it turned into Phenomena. When I first got sick I was taking Nyquil. I wasn't thinking anything about the alcohol in the Nyquil...I was taking it to feel better, which is why I’d taken it many times in the past. There were a lot of people that considered it as a slip and I should start my sobriety date over. OH HELL YEAH I WILL!!! LOL I also got called on taking prescribed Sudafed to be able to breath. (That was back when you had to have a script for it.) And oh good God, I took some prescribed pain meds “AS PRESCRIBED” after surgery. The thing was, some of those same people went out and started up the drinking and to my knowledge never returned. BTW, I no longer go to AA and I don’t have a clue of the last sobriety date other than it’s over 25 years now.

I don't know you, so I don't know what you need to be resurrected from the gates of hell. Though I would say, if you’re using weed as a tool and really need it, I think I'd fire your dickhead and get a new one! If you’re using it to get high more than the tool part, maybe you should keep your dickhead and LISTEN to him “as if he was trying to save your life!”

Something to think about, if you didn’t just pick the dickhead out of a convenience thing, you picked him because you saw something in him you felt you needed to get sober, maybe you should listen to what he has to say.

Leaping Gnome
 
Recovery doesn't happen overnight and the discomfort of change is inevitable. May as well face that discomfort in the beginning. It will pass. NA is about active changes in ideas, attitudes and behaviors and your sponsor's job is to guide you through. He can't do that while you are still using.

NA has helped me a great deal. It isn't easy but the rewards (that come slowly over a period of time) are significant. Follow your sponsor's direction. Don't focus on the numbers game involved in clean time. Those 10 days most certainly felt like 30 but in order to truly make progress (the NA way), complete abstinence is required.

It was suggested to me to make a meeting a day for 90 days, get a home group, find a sponsor, work Steps and raise my hand at meetings and get honest. These are all simple things but they are not easy things.

It sounds like you're committed. Don't let that go and don't get in your own way <3
 
TIME

I understand that this overwhelms a lot of people who are going through withdrawal. At that point you hate to hear that only time is going to really help you. Honestly though, it should be some incredible comfort that the ONLY thing you need is some time. All of the extras will help the process, but time is best, most reliable, and its completely unavoidable.

I just turned three months clean and I dont even remember it anymore.
 
Thanks to all of you for your fast and supportive responses. It really means a lot.

Now what you all said made me think. I honestly feel there's more to me smoking cannabis than helping with w/d's..I've been smoking for years. But I cannot imagine going through it without the help from weed: with nausea, general dysphoria and even the body and muscle cramps. Even though I say that with complete confidence, a part of me knows (maybe my addicted-rationalizing self) that it isnt right.

I respect my new first sponsor, because I see a lot of myself in the man. Every day almost he help people like me, starting a "brotherhood of cleanliness," gave me all the phone numbers (twice =D) and told me to call immediately. that's something I can not insult. Even though, it took me by surprise him saying I have to stop.. the man took time out during the meeting to remind everyone that COMPLETE abstinence from ALL substances is required; and the stern look he gave me during this speech didn't help either. I didn't mean to offend or lie to him--which is the way I think he took it. He used to be a pot-head himself, on his arm was tattood "STONER / 420" which is now newly decorated with a new tattoo over the original....crossing it out and adding an emblem over it saying "ADDICTION." Maybe thats a little hardcore for me.

I do not want to walce into meetings and not be able to celebrate or talk about my problems with opium just because I am now looked down upon since I still get high with green. The way he responded and looked at me--like i've been lying to him this whole time about getting clean.

I'm not under court order. No one forced me into this, I just picked a day and tried. My parents, girlfriend and rest of society doesn't even know the pain I'm going through daily because it's too much of a shame to tell!

Opium was taking my soul away from me....cannabis seems to help me retain some of it. Maybe i'm rationalizing again, oh God lol 8o =D
 
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All your sponsor is saying is that you haven't been abstinent from all drugs/alcohol for 10 days. Which is just a fact. What's the big deal? It's your choice what you do, your sponsor is just saying what worked for him. Well done for getting clean man!
 
If I was you I would find a good addiction counselor who is not affiliated with NA or any 12 step rehab programs. If thats not an option check out smart recovery you can google there website and see if there is a meeting near you. I suggest this because it sounds like you just need somewhere to talk about your addiction NA isnt really set up like that they tend to talk more about the dogma of the program and shit from the book.
 
I say good job on being clean and focus on keeping off the opium and then after youre done conquering that, then stop smoking weed. I dont think you can just do it without any help, because you'll feel like shit and want to turn back to opium again and then your whole plan of quitting will go to shit. Its just my advice, but thats what I would do. Dont get overwhelmed on trying to quit everything all at once.
 
I see no reason you can't keep smoking cannabis, at least till you finish going withdrawals and feel like you can handle reality without the urge to do opiates. When I stopped opiates, for a good 2 or 3 months straight all I would think about was getting high. It caused a lot of anxiety and frustration, and this is also because I didn't have cannabis to smoke. Like I said before, use one to help you get off the other. We all smoke, it's not a bad thing to be doing really. Besides, if you're gonna get clean, you gotta do it at you're own pace. Don't let somebody else tell you how to go about you're own damn sobriety.
 
Good job....I would say keep doing whatever works for you. If the meetings help for support and the weed helps with the withdrawals there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with that. And maybe one day you'll decide you don't want to smoke weed anymore for whatever reason. There are many things that are mind-altering; the line has to be drawn somewhere and I think that can be wherever is most comfortable for you.
 
From my personal experience its more about not needing to ingest something to thru the day and getting used to being sober. Its weird at first, not being high on anything and it takes some getting used to. I turned into a morning person for christ sake. Everyone has their ups and downs in life but they seem to be magnified in early sobriety like your emotions.

Good job, try to have a plan of what your going to do each day. Be well.
 
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