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☮ Social ☮ PD Social: Cross-dimensional chatter. Now featuring mesphereomeantoliopeme.

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This is odd, I don't even know what I subjectively feel like. Why would you want to inhibit enzymes breaking it down anyway? Dextrorphan is a potent NMDA antagonist I'd think we'd want more of that quicker. I dunno. It's bothering me that I can't describe what it feels like.


Let's get a time line going: after i went upstairs I threw on a sleep mask and started listening to music which was somewhat enhanced probably, there were CEV's like mind movies then I don't remember it stopping but I eventually realized that the playlist I was listening to had long since ended and I was just lying there doing nothing. Then I listened to some more music and came on down here. See, that's not useful at all, Would I do it again? probably not. I don't know.

I guess my mind is betraying some symptoms of dissociation and a slight disturbance in motorcoordination....but it's not at all like how NMDA antagonists normally feel. Are these feelings pleasant or unpleasant? I'm not sure....

I will christen my mindset thusly: Plateau 404 Error. Or maybe I should have wanted a few more days before doing this after my meth times and I'm just having some serotonin issues.
 
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yucatanboy2 said:
Man, looking for a job in academia is depressing and intimidating. i feel like everyone I'm competing with has all these fancy awards or has published all these great papers....
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i remember when i got the chance to look over some CVs from some of the people i work with, many older and higher up in the academic/scientific field, and the discrepancy between the papers they presumably published, their supposed experience, knowledge gained through various courses and what they were like in real life interaction were shocking to say the least (awards, papers, diplomas - they were all supperficially gained)... since then im hoping real people with true interest in science and academia will be looking a bit further than just a CV, which can be too easily polished.

best of luck
 
yucatanboy2 said:
Man, looking for a job in academia is depressing and intimidating. i feel like everyone I'm competing with has all these fancy awards or has published all these great papers, whereas I only have a few papers in less prestigious journals. I hope my letters of recommendation are stellar and I get a job somewhere. And I hope I can start a research group quickly and get some grants and papers out fast.
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Oh man... at that stage in the process. I'm still good 7 years or so out from this and already intimidated. Just got to make sure you have some awesome (innovative) ideas of where you want to take your research. From my limited experience so far I've found that a lot of success depends solely on how well you can sell your chemistry. Aside from getting the job, I feel like those first 3-5 years will be some of the most stressfull... trying to get students to join your group all while constantly writing grants and doing research yourself. The lives we chose for science... Especially considering how directly applicability-driven everything has been becoming considering current funding availability.

since then im hoping real people with true interest in science and academia will be looking a bit further than just a CV, which can be too easily polished.
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Unfortunately so much of academia is Extremely political, ie who you worked for and what fellowships you may have had are extremely important. The letters of rec are one of the most important things I feel, especially considering who you did post-doc for. While your grad-school time is often judged by your publication-output.
 
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Just got my hands on The Witcher, been waiting for that game since it was first announced, and yet even though it came out years ago I never got it until now. I hope it was worth it.

Today shall be another lazy day I think, going to grab something to eat and watch this documentary someone linked here in PD - it looks pretty interesting.

How is everyone this afternoon/morning/evening/night/other-time-period-that-doesn't-apply-in-this-dimension? <3
 
yucatanboy2 said:
Man, looking for a job in academia is depressing and intimidating. i feel like everyone I'm competing with has all these fancy awards or has published all these great papers, whereas I only have a few papers in less prestigious journals. I hope my letters of recommendation are stellar and I get a job somewhere. And I hope I can start a research group quickly and get some grants and papers out fast.
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Competition is so stiff it's mindblowing. It seems like the higher you go the worse it gets. You would think that once you're in *insert pro-school* you're in the clear, but you're only in the clear in the sense that you don't have to worry about undergrad anymore. All the top tier that got in from undergrad are now your competitors, so you have to be that much better. And it keeps getting worse as the level goes up.

I've been reading stuff about there being too many Ph.D's being produced and there aren't enough careers to absorb them all. It's not like a Ph.D is too easy to get; it's just that more and more people have the drive to get there. With more people getting Ph.D's you gotta do something to separate yourself from the crowd. Of course I have no idea what that would be. ;)

kingme said:
i remember when i got the chance to look over some CVs from some of the people i work with, many older and higher up in the academic/scientific field, and the discrepancy between the papers they presumably published, their supposed experience, knowledge gained through various courses and what they were like in real life interaction were shocking to say the least (awards, papers, diplomas - they were all supperficially gained)... since then im hoping real people with true interest in science and academia will be looking a bit further than just a CV, which can be too easily polished.
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The lab I was working in when I was a tech was like the 'numero uno' of the department. The principle investigator was a campus celebrity on every which board of god knows what (I think he's head of the dept. now actually), and all the grad students were getting awards all over the place. It was all horseshit, they were average as hell. Even as a techy I was correcting some of their shortcomings, without their level of education.

Those awards are a large part about politics, but I also think if you direct your work towards something that is somewhat mainstream but investigating a novel angle of it, you might get more attention. Working on something totally original and fresh is likely going to get dismissed as unimportant by the powers that be.

In that lab anyway, any accords or awards they got were completely superficial. I hope the employers look into the person's intellect and personality more than a file full of paper.

In my case I'm hoping my early beginning in academia at the absolute bottom of the barrel (a techy) and going back to school/working my way up is going to stand for something. I suppose I should also get copies of all the articles I have my name on even though I wasn't the grad student who was the actual investigator, you know, for paper in the file. ;)

Academia is some competitive shit. It's mind boggling tough, it makes you wonder how people even become professors :P

Never, I hope it turned out well in the end. You might have something there with recent meth use. DXM is tricky. I find I never get fully immersed like with K, but it's like I'm still in regular conscioussness, except everything is getting wonky and memories/thoughts are all starting to come together, connections are made, etc.

It's sort of like being sick, lying on the couch with some agony and a wonky head. But when you start making connections you didn't see before involving people you have unresolved issues with, the euphoria is transcendent. :)
 
PepperSocks said:
I suppose I should also get copies of all the articles I have my name on even though I wasn't the grad student who was the actual investigator, you know, for paper in the file. ;)

Academia is some competitive shit. It's mind boggling tough, it makes you wonder how people even become professors :P
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yeah most definetly go back and get at least a list of every paper that ever even mentions your name in the authors list. It probably depends on the career, but for some, even having a list of papers published shows that you at least know how to work in a team that publishes, even if you arent the main author.

It is a really difficult field, and at the moment, im totally uninterested in joining it, after trying for a year to get somewhere and just seeing politics and favouritism propell some really unworthy and untalented people promoted. sure, sometimes the right people get where they are suppoed to but a lot of the time it doesnt work too well.

in my country at least, theres way too many phds going about. the situation is better now than it used to be, but even the very concept of phd is something thats tainted at the moment. people dont focus on a specific interesting subject, but do a scattershot analysis of a state of affairs and the innovation (if any) is really really poor. even if the phd student wants to do it differently, the proffesors lead them down this other path.

argh. time for a beer. and a night out. might check out a fusion restaurant for the first time.... hmm fusion food. i wonder if they cook it inside a reactor
 
Hah, as stated in "The PhD Movie".... we're all impostors trying to appear smarter then we all know that we are.
 
It's 2am and I'm thinking of eating 20mg of 4-AcO-DMT, 35mg of 2C-E, placing 40mg MXE under the tongue, and having 10mg of 2C-E and 10mg of MXE to snort on the peak.

Yes it's one of those nights.

Send those good vibes my way <3 :D
 
^Yikes man, thats a fearsome combo. 45mgs of 2C-E will be crazy, the highest I've had was 30mg and I was utterly zoinked. Have fun, good vibes ejaculated into the vibrasphere <3 :)
 
<3

35mg 2C-E + 20mg 4-AcO-DMT down the hatch, MXE time now :)

Self-reminder: Methoxetamine and 2C-E for snorting are on the book by my bed, so that I don't spill the rest of my drugs putting them back in my stash box while tripping.

Edit: When a drug like 2C-E that takes 1-2 hours to kick in is kicking in at the 20 minute mark, expect a ride! 8o Adios, I'll be back! <3
 
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Good god, 90mg of 2C-E??? 8( There's no reason to take that much, that's just reckless IMHO -- I had the most extreme ego loss of my life on ~22mg, and I know people who have gone even farther with less. For the vast majority of people, even half of that amount would be a massive overdose.
 
Roger&Me said:
Good god, 90mg of 2C-E??? 8( There's no reason to take that much, that's just reckless IMHO
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you've got to factor ROA in, though; I had assumed he applied those 90 mg as a topical cream.

fwiw, tho, 30 mg was too much for me even when my tolerance was elevated by SSRIs
 
I dosed like 3 times that week so tolerance was present :| Reckless? Probably. I never dose less than 30mg, I love the intensity. And no, ROA was oral.
 
It has been too long since i had 2c-e I regret not ordering a little bit with my last package like I originally planned to .

Just got done watching Enter the Void for the first time while tripping balls on mxe a little bit ago. That is such a trippy movie; even sober it probably would of been a strong mind fuck.
I think I'm going to save the tiny bit of mxe I have left till the weekend(if I can) since I've been doing it for the past 5 days.
 
I can't imagine taking even half that much 2c-e, it'd just be solid mindfuck the whole trip that I would be unable to properly recall.

Kind of disappointed in my dxm yesterday, it's just...eh I didn't get any nice feelings I'd expect from dissociatives while having a number of side effects basically (including full on dissociative insomnia, got zero hours of sleep but I kind of like the non-sleep I don't remember with the mind just drifting while you lie down in bed all night). Hopefully I'll be able to fall asleep tonight at a decent hour, I've been messin' with my sleep schedule way too much this past week.

It's that time of year people are putting lights up on their houses (which I like), holiday blues are a go-go baby. Hopefully I'll get some more money to buy things to drown it out with soon, I'm out of booze as of this evening.
 
^ My last DXM trip was a bit of a disappointment as well, although I don't think I'd undo it if I could. At first it was actually really euphoric, but then I just started thinking about all the negative things in my life and it became darker and just really weird...

Also, the holiday season always has really weird connotations for me. It just seems like, if people really want to celebrate the beauty of life, buying plastic christmas trees and wreaths, decorating everything with cheap little ornaments associated with fat bearded men and reindeer, and giving away worthless shit to all your friends and family that they're just going to throw away, is not really the correct way to do it.

O.K., O.K., that was pretty cynical. I know not everyone's like that. I actually really love christmas lights, especially the multicolored ones... I could stare at those all day! Oooohh... =D
 
lol forgive my flabbergasted response... I just cannot even explain with words how intense my experience with 22mg was, it was beyond ego loss in the craziest way possible :D Talk about Entering the Void... 90mg of 2C-E would be unfathomable to me. Its a material that slices to the absolute core of being itself, with such direct clarity, that it can be truly frightening. My experiences with 2C-E have been extremely profound but definitely not what I would ever call recreational, it may be the most cold and serious psychedelic drug I've ever ingested.
 
The first time I actually tried it was at a rave, 12mg surrounded by 10k strangers. Was absolutely amazing, I loved it. Months later I discovered it was available to me from very reliable source, and I tried it at 25mg. Was amazing just like before and ever since Ive been dosing 30-50mg each time, except for the 90mg occasion.
 
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