MagickalKat777
Bluelight Crew
We share a lot of common similarities in our stories except that Xanax didn't work for me but Klonopin and Valium most certainly do. The whole thing that I always wonder though is what if I never took that pill and worked through my issues instead of relying on a drug to help me out here and there? I think my life would be vastly different if I wasn't on benzos. I get the interdose withdrawals quite badly from Klonopin (and that's one of the reasons I can't take Xanax let alone the big RUSH I get when it hits me that makes me feel like I'm coming up on a mild psychedelic or pot and makes me panic more before it levels me out) but Valium was honestly a godsend. Unfortunately finding a doctor that will prescribe Valium is about as hard as finding a doctor that will give you 360 Oxys a month. Pretty much impossible unless its the VA.
I'm in the U.S. too and my doctor was giving me 4mg of Klonopin a day for a while and he also gave me a script for both 60 1mg Xanax XRs and at the same time, 90 .5mg IRs. He just didn't know what the hell he was doing. By the time he FINALLY gave me the Valium, I was taking 4mg of Klonopin a day and I chose on my own to start at 60mg of Valium. No problems switching from K to V unlike X to K. X to K was hell on Earth.
I just wish they would stop fucking with what is arguably THE most important neurotransmitter in the brain - GABA - and work on something else.
And I'm in the same camp as you with SSRIs. Although Celexa *might* have helped me. It turned me into a compulsive alcoholic around day 30 of taking it and I was drinking and partying every night til I passed out --- BUT! I was not having any more panic attacks and I went to work every day with no hang over and no more panic attacks while on the phone with customers... I guess its a trade off. I've had Paxil, Wellbutrin, Lyrica, Lexapro, Celexa, Abilify, Geodon, Remeron, Lamictal, Zyprexa, Xanax, Ativan, Klonopin, Valium, Librium, Trileptal, lots of natural supplements, and god knows what else and the only thing that really works for me consistently is Valium. And I agree with you re: benzos and bipolar, depression, etc - except for Klonopin. Klonopin actually depresses me.
I'm in the U.S. too and my doctor was giving me 4mg of Klonopin a day for a while and he also gave me a script for both 60 1mg Xanax XRs and at the same time, 90 .5mg IRs. He just didn't know what the hell he was doing. By the time he FINALLY gave me the Valium, I was taking 4mg of Klonopin a day and I chose on my own to start at 60mg of Valium. No problems switching from K to V unlike X to K. X to K was hell on Earth.
I just wish they would stop fucking with what is arguably THE most important neurotransmitter in the brain - GABA - and work on something else.
And I'm in the same camp as you with SSRIs. Although Celexa *might* have helped me. It turned me into a compulsive alcoholic around day 30 of taking it and I was drinking and partying every night til I passed out --- BUT! I was not having any more panic attacks and I went to work every day with no hang over and no more panic attacks while on the phone with customers... I guess its a trade off. I've had Paxil, Wellbutrin, Lyrica, Lexapro, Celexa, Abilify, Geodon, Remeron, Lamictal, Zyprexa, Xanax, Ativan, Klonopin, Valium, Librium, Trileptal, lots of natural supplements, and god knows what else and the only thing that really works for me consistently is Valium. And I agree with you re: benzos and bipolar, depression, etc - except for Klonopin. Klonopin actually depresses me.
