• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Just here to bitch I guess

WayFarLost

WayFarLost

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 16, 2010
Messages
85
Location
Florida
I'm 19. I've got no friends. I fucking hate my family but they love me and think I love them. I've got a fresh cigarette burn on my left arm, many faded burns and cuts. Recently my ex made me beleive we were getting back together. She slept with me was kissing me. The day after she tells me shes marrying someone else moving in with him and adopting a kid. They are both addicts. The only good thing about that is it makes me smile a little knowing her life is going to be complete shit from now on. I'm starting college and have no way to pay for it. I chose my major based off what I was best at in high school, I've got no interests in any field. I've gotten fired from my last few jobs due to anxiety issues, my anxiety keeps me away from people at all. On top of that, I've got aspergers. Making friends with social anxiety disorder and aspergers is next to impossible, I've given up. I'm severely bi-polar and no meds yet have been able to control it. Going into a new psych monday. I hope to god I can actually get help. But somone with issues as severe as mine isnt given help immediantly. I have to waste my time for fucking months telling the psych each time the meds dont work. I've written up what I think I need and why, highly doubtful she will give a fuck. I've had three suicide attempts in the past. Two overdoses and an asphyxiation. I have no reason to feel hopefull, and another will probably come soon.
 
I her you,i feel this bad too at times. The only thing that stops me is my child and my parents. No matter how I feel personally, they always manage to make m realise selfish I would be if I carried out my attempts. I would give anything times to be single, childless and alone so I can stop my life before I suffer endlessly for no reason.

I send you love

J
 
Not seeing a reason to be hopeful doesn't necessarily mean that there is no reason. It sounds like you've gone through a lot and I'd probably in a much worse shape than you in your situation; but if you can see that how you feel now is only a feeling and doesn't not have to define your future then it may be possible to see other possibilites and begin taking the necessary steps to move toward them. Whatever you life situation is can be seen as that rather than taking it personally and determining how you feel about yourself. Be nice to you :)
 
Three other family members threatened to kill themselves if I did. Pretty much the only thing keeping me around.

Thanks J.
 
While I encourage you to NOT end your life; it's also sometimes helpful to remember that you are not responsible for the actions of others. I often feel that I am; but another person is able to think/feel/do what they want regardless of your own choices. Be well :)
 
Legerity is very wise in his words (as I've said before). I don't suggest ending your life but it isn't right for them to hold that against you, which my mom actually has done the same to me as well. TDS is the right place for you to bitch, believe me, I've done my share, but right now don't put yourself in all these nevers and nones. Your future is never permanent, so maybe it's time to change up your life. What's happened to you is unfair, and there are many things in life that we simply cannot control, but what you can control is what you do with what you're given. That's terrible what your ex did to you, but it's time to move on and know that they are no longer worth your time for doing that to you. As legerity said, just because you don't see a reason, doesn't mean no reason exists. Best wishes <3
 
badfish45 said:
Legerity is very wise in his words (as I've said before). I don't suggest ending your life but it isn't right for them to hold that against you, which my mom actually has done the same to me as well. TDS is the right place for you to bitch, believe me, I've done my share, but right now don't put yourself in all these nevers and nones. Your future is never permanent, so maybe it's time to change up your life. What's happened to you is unfair, and there are many things in life that we simply cannot control, but what you can control is what you do with what you're given. That's terrible what your ex did to you, but it's time to move on and know that they are no longer worth your time for doing that to you. As legerity said, just because you don't see a reason, doesn't mean no reason exists. Best wishes <3
Click to expand...

I like legerity too. He kind of disappeared from my aim though unfortunately.

Ahem..
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top