spaceroach
Bluelighter
I meditated briefly on what I was about to do, though I knew I could never be ready. I willed myself to surrender to the experience, to be humble. I heated the bulb and watched the thick yellow smoke billowing inside, ever unfurling into itself. I inhaled it. I held it as I prepared the next lungful, which I then inhaled once more. As I readied the third, I had a sense of frequency increasing. Not sound, really, but being. I took the third blast.
As I set the pipe down on my nightstand, the visuals started kicking in. Everything was beginning to swell against itself, to shift and morph. The world began to take on an 8-bit, pixellated look. The frequency was reaching a crescendo. I lay back to enjoy the ride... only, part of me resisted.
Oh shit.
I don't recall everything that happened next, except that there was an epic battle between ego and the Higher Self. We tumbled into the dimension outside of time. The following happened over, and over, and over:
My soul tore at the very fabric of existence, crushed by loneliness and horror. I dwelt in a cosmic prison for an eternity, weeping and lamenting that there was no God for me to appeal to. I came to yearn for death, for everything by which I gauged myself and my world was exposed as a lame, meaningless construct. Eventually I came to realize that the only thing keeping me here was the fact that I was struggling against it, and I gave in. I died.
And in the silence that followed, a mote of awareness dwelt within the foam between the infinite universes, there was a sense of gentle waves on a beach (metaphorically speaking), or an indrawn breath. And then, an idea came, thunderously, not in words or even thought but something more primal and powerful: I AM.
And the being which had this idea expressed it by shattering its awareness into an infinite number of shards. I was one of these shards. You, another. And I saw all these shards, how they are all one and the same, and they are also the same as their progenitor who dwelt outside time.
And then I was myself for a moment, lying on my bed, exhaling the third blast, preparing myself for the experience to come...
This loop recurred over and over. As the drug's effect faded, it didn't stop; rather, my ability to perceive it decreased over time like turning down the volume on your stereo.
It's good to be back, though.
On a tiny speck of dust in the cosmos, November 1st, 2011
Tagged by bindingaffinity
substancecode_dmt
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_firsttime
exptype_neutral
exptype_spiritual
exptype_difficult
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
As I set the pipe down on my nightstand, the visuals started kicking in. Everything was beginning to swell against itself, to shift and morph. The world began to take on an 8-bit, pixellated look. The frequency was reaching a crescendo. I lay back to enjoy the ride... only, part of me resisted.
Oh shit.
I don't recall everything that happened next, except that there was an epic battle between ego and the Higher Self. We tumbled into the dimension outside of time. The following happened over, and over, and over:
My soul tore at the very fabric of existence, crushed by loneliness and horror. I dwelt in a cosmic prison for an eternity, weeping and lamenting that there was no God for me to appeal to. I came to yearn for death, for everything by which I gauged myself and my world was exposed as a lame, meaningless construct. Eventually I came to realize that the only thing keeping me here was the fact that I was struggling against it, and I gave in. I died.
And in the silence that followed, a mote of awareness dwelt within the foam between the infinite universes, there was a sense of gentle waves on a beach (metaphorically speaking), or an indrawn breath. And then, an idea came, thunderously, not in words or even thought but something more primal and powerful: I AM.
And the being which had this idea expressed it by shattering its awareness into an infinite number of shards. I was one of these shards. You, another. And I saw all these shards, how they are all one and the same, and they are also the same as their progenitor who dwelt outside time.
And then I was myself for a moment, lying on my bed, exhaling the third blast, preparing myself for the experience to come...
This loop recurred over and over. As the drug's effect faded, it didn't stop; rather, my ability to perceive it decreased over time like turning down the volume on your stereo.
It's good to be back, though.
On a tiny speck of dust in the cosmos, November 1st, 2011
Tagged by bindingaffinity
substancecode_dmt
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_firsttime
exptype_neutral
exptype_spiritual
exptype_difficult
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
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literally.