Cyc, a good and timely thread. Mind if I tag along on it? Lately I have managed to convince myself that, psychologically speaking, it will in the long run be best if I try to stay sober and manage my alcohol addiction without relying on artificial aids like Disulfiram. Course, the reason I went onto the meds in the first place is because I had already proven to myself that I
cannot manage it, and am seriously at risk of losing everything I've worked so damned hard to put in place over the last 10 years recovering from my previous addiction to Heroin. It's all bullshit enabling excuses of course. I know that rationally. Just I'm so damned good at rationalising things away if that will let me drink. So, I here and now resolve to 1) Keep taking the bloody tablets, because that will help with 2) Stop fucking drinking Sepher you daft twat! :banghead:
I recognise the 4 day on then recover mode. I'm a binge drinker, rather than someone with a true physical dependency for alcohol. I don't get DTs when I stop for instance. I still define myself as alcoholic, because once I start I can't stop. The only thing that stops me is my own body protesting that after 3 or 4 days it can no longer take any more alcohol into its system, and no point trying to force another one on it cos it will quite literally throw it straight back in my face! Then it's recovery mode for a coupla days while my body tries to burn it off, and I can smell the booze coming out through my pores. My liver function tests out ok, but clearly my body isn't processing the alcohol like it used to, and the longer this goes on the more and more it's having a deleterious effect. It's aging me at a ferocious pace. It's gotta stop.
Hope November treats you well Cyc, and may you enjoy all that it brings all the more being sober enough to fully appreciate things.
And hey Monsta. I think my alcohol issues largely stem from the fact that my mam's effectively alcoholic, and while I was trying to turn my life around living with her made it all too easy to follow down the road she's on. You have my sympathies. I know it's gotta be hard as hell for you trying to stay sober when you're surrounded by booze. Hang in there fella.
