A friend of mine really fucked up.

[mylegitches]

They don't know what to do or who to talk to so I am posting this and seeking advice for them.

So my friend, Sarah, has been addicted to heroin for the past year & she is a 20 yr old female in Oakland, CA.

She has always taken pride in the fact that she's always been pretty good about treating others the way she'd like to be treated, not being sketchy, being an honest & fairly trustworthy person, etc. The only things that she has done pretty much all her life that compromise that is that she is a shoplifter/booster & has occasionally stolen from complete strangers she knew she'd never see again.

She has always lived by; its okay to steal from stores (but not small family owned or small local businesses) and sometimes from complete strangers but never loved ones, friends, acquaintances, or friends of friends. The past three months, she has done a few things that completely broke that code.

Sarah is living in a shitty strung out junkie house with her best friend, Megan & Megan's boyfriend Peter along with another girl Laura & another guy Tim. During the first month of living in this house, Laura began to do various different things that pissed off Sarah, Megan, Peter, & Tim. After a while, they decided they thought of her as a bad person & wanted her to move out & no longer considered her a friend. Sarah & Peter decided to steal Laura's clothes & sell them & not tell Megan. Megan found out because she found a bag a few days later containing some of the clothing that did not sell. She agreed to keep quiet.

Eventually, things turned around & everyone made amends with Laura but the secret remained kept for the next three months. After a while Laura noticed some of her clothing missing & discovered some of the items at a Buffalo Exchange, Sarah somehow convinced Laura that Laura's clothing had gotten mixed up with Sarah's clothing to sell in the backseat of Laura's car & that Sarah must have mistakenly sold the clothing. Laura. There would be petty fights here & there but for the most part things were fine & everyone was friends again.

Sarah also "stole" a cotton from Megan & Peter after they had split a bag and the cotton was evidentally for Peter. & stole $500 from a girl that Tim had brought home because she knew she would never see the girl again. She gave $100 to Laura because she owed her & set aside $200 for rent. The other $200 she spent very quickly because she was trying to OD. The only person who knew about her taking the money was Laura.

Laura ratted her out before Sarah could tell Megan & Peter. Currently Megan & Peter are upset with Sarah because she lied to them & didn't help them when she had the money. They are also upset because Sarah was unable to pay her rent this month because (she is unsure of who, but is pretty certain it IS Tim) her rent money she set aside in a hiding place was stolen. Because they were angry they ratted out Sarah about Lauras clothes as well. Somehow left out Peter had something to do with it as well.

They also are mad because Laura decided to show them a facebook chat log where Sarah stated she hoped they broke up. She doesnt actually feel that way, she had just been saddened daily by their fighting & occasionally wondered if they would be happier apart. When she had said that it was during a period of time where Megan & Peter fought constantly & were constantly screaming at eachother. Im sure you can see how a frustrated roommate would say that out of annoyance.

Sarah does not want to hurt Megan & Peter anymore. She wants to save her friendship with them. She wants to at least be on good terms with Laura. How can she turn this situation around & get them to forgive her?

 

[Larson0]

she can move out. thats about it tbh. that shit will never work out. a crackhouse? or dopehouse whatever. it could be her bottom that makes her live on the street and get clean. she is still young.

 

[Mel22]

I agree - she should move out. It is not healthy to be in a place surrounded by fighting, suspicion and theft.

The best chance she has would be explaining everything to them, and perhaps even showing them this thread to read. When people are angry, they choose not to forgive a lot of the time. Also, because so many of them have stuff to hide as well (the other people involved in stealing the clothes etc.) they will make your friend the scapegoat. They will probably band together and peg her as the bad guy to keep the heat off themselves.

Some of their reactions are justified - she did the wrong thing. Best to be civil, cut your losses, move out and hope for the best really. I feel that if she stays there, it will just end up in more drama, accusations and heartache.

 

[mylegitches]

The only problem with moving out is that she has no family to help her out or any money to move else where & the house has decided to cease paying the rent.

 

[swmo]

oh my gosh....i've lived almost the exact same story, several different times in my life. i even tried to keep the same moral code about stealing from others....kinda like honor among thieves. there might be honor there but rarely do u find it among junkies or hardcore users of anything. by all means, someone please help move the young lady somewhere!

 

[Cyc]

Sarah also "stole" a cotton from Megan & Peter after they had split a bag and the cotton was evidentally for Peter.

So there was a dirty swab of filtrate which was earmarked for this Peter fella, but she went ahead and claimed it for herself..

Maybe next time she could trade a used band-aid or a crushed soda can for it. You know, just to square things up.

 

[Syrax]

I hope you realize the absurdity of this thread.

Obviously your friend needs to be in a better environment whether she's using or not. But the fact of the matter is that she's a heroin addict. And the situation she's in is what happens in our society to people who end up going that route with no support.

If you have no money or resources whatsoever and no family members or responsible friends to leech off of and you're addicted to heroin that's the lifestyle you find. Some people have higher ethical standards than others but being poor and a heroin addict is really going to test those thresholds.

Sure she should move out but what are her alternatives? Can she hold down a job living like this? Does she have family members that could help her?

The best advice you could give is that she should try to get clean, at least temporarily, so that she can stabilize her life. Get on a maintenance program or something I don't know. Her environment is only going to get worse if she keeps using by the sounds of it.

I hope you can talk to her and communicate to her how things will only get worse if she maintains this lifestyle and that there are options out there for her to improve her life.

Being a drug addict with no resources is the fast track to Shit City.

 

[Missykins]

They sound like wonderful people. I'd love to be friends with them. I would feel perfectly secure with them.

 

[muvolution]

What does she expect to happen? Or you for that matter? I don't want to discourage you, but there aint shit you can tell a junkie to get them to stop... they kinda have to figure it out for themselves, before they OD or go to prison. Good luck.

 

[axl blaze]

it sounds to me like the OP is this Sarah person. it sounds like you are trying to justify your actions, but imho you are failing miserably. stealing is still stealing, no matter how many codes or euphemisms you sugar-coat it. this house sounds horrible! why a roommate would steal another roommate's rent money is beyond me. I know they were just thinking about the drugs, but you gotta have a place to stay first and foremost

not impressed, OP

 

[brighton]

So there was a dirty swab of filtrate which was earmarked for this Peter fella, but she went ahead and claimed it for herself..

Maybe next time she could trade a used band-aid or a crushed soda can for it. You know, just to square things up.

lol this totally made my day.

sarah needs to get off the gear and get some help. but trying to talk a junkie out of using .......

 

[Dave]

Technically it was filtrete. Filtrate is the solution that remains after being filtered. :D

@OP: Sarah needs to get out of that house and get sober, but she has to figure that out for herself.