Seattle_Stranger
Bluelighter
We've been planning to attend the Shponlge show here in Seattle pretty much since we barely missed the last time they were in town. We bought tickets as soon as they came for sale, bought pounds of glowsticks to wear, and of course, some super high quality MDMA. I tested the off-white crystal material myself and have never seen my Marquis test turn dark purple/black, so fast and so ink-thick like that before. This must be killer MDMA! I was stoked.
I've had some poor experiences with rolling in the past, including one very, very bad experience when I combined MDMA with computer duster (dumb dumb dumb dumb I know don't lecture me). I've also had some glowing experiences as well. When I first found MDMA, it was what I think was some of the purest product I've ever experienced. Unfortunately, a friend and I abused it, snorting it several times a month for ~2 months, to be honest I do not remember the exact time frame. I never noticed any immediate problems stemming from this, but after this abuse period, I slipped into a very deep, dark, awful depression that lasted for....well....I still feel like I'm affected by it over 2 years later. I've rolled here and there on different product a few times after this, some good experiences, some not so good. Eventually I got to a point where the thought of rolling was making me anxious. I also was at a point where I was convinced that I could feel the 'damage' from a single MDMA roll for months and months after. My girlfriend and I decided this was the very last time we would ever roll, so let's make it a good one and just close the casket for good. I packed two capsules with ~120mg each, gave her one and one for myself, we put them in our pockets along with a couple blue dolphin E pills for boosters later on in the night, and headed to the show. I started feeling very, very anxious and panicky on the way to the show.
We got to the show, it began and I absolutely could not shake this anxiety attack. I didn't want to drop my pill while I was still feeling anxious about it, I wanted to free my mind, but my mind would simply just not free up. My girlfriend was feeling a little anxious too (probably because I was) so she was waiting to drop as well. My friend asked if I'd give him a dolphin, so I did, and he started rolling pretty good, enjoying himself, however I felt no better about it. About halfway through the show, not enjoying it, just freaking out inside about rolling and completely unable to shake it! Finally I decide listen to my body, and to not allow this stupid drug to ruin another good show for me, so I tell myself and my girlfriend that I'm simply not going to take it. She agrees, and decides not to take hers either.
At that very moment, I got a gigantic rush of euphoria, contentment, satisfaction, happiness, comfort and invincibility. I was freed of all the anxiety that had been crippling me all day. The music suddenly surrounded me, grabbed me and flung me up in the sky, where I floated with it for the rest of the event. I was weightless, free of worry, and completely under my own mind's control. My body was thanking me for not destroying it again with MDMA. I felt like I had a revelation, like I just figured out all the problems in the world, I felt high!! My body rewarded my good decision with a complimentary endo-roll (as I like to call it). At that very moment I decided I would never, ever roll again. I almost took the capsule out of my pocket and tossed it in the trash just for good measure, but didn't.
The show ended and you could not wipe the smile from my face. I was watching all the other people running around high as balls, eyes the size of dimes, knowing how they're probably going to feel later on. I was ecstatic to not be a part of them. My girl and I grabbed a cab and headed home, happy as hell, and not even a single drink or drug in our systems. We felt redeemed and renewed, we really are still able to go out and have a good time while sober.
-----------------------------
Now here's where things get a little silly...
-----------------------------
As we're in the cab, my girl turns to me and says "Oh shit, I think my capsule broke open in my pocket". I take my fingers, reach into her pocket and pull it out, and because it was dark in the cab I couldn't see it, so I gave a quick lick to the tip of my finger after touching the cap, and for sure I tasted some MDMA on it, it must have broke open. I shoved it into my pocket and rode the rest of the way home. We decide to stop at the store on the way home for some bubbly. As we're walking through the store, I say to my girlfriend "Wow, I'm SO happy we didn't roll. I'm like, really, really happy! As a matter of fact, I feel so good that I actually feel like I took something..." I noticed the lights in the store appeared a bit over bright, I had a little more energy than I had earlier and actually felt somewhat euphoric....I wrote it off to me just being very proud of myself for not rolling, and also being in the mindset from just leaving a techno show. We bought the bub and made our way home.
She was super tired so we had a quick glass and headed to bed. I chatted with my roommates about the show a bit then headed to bed. As I lay in bed, I felt very restless but not the usual uncomfortable restlessness I get when I can't sleep, it was, for lack of a better word, a 'happy discomfort'. I felt comfortable in the fact that i couldn't sleep, which was weird! I put my arms around my girlfriend and felt a jolt of electric pleasure as my bare hands met her soft skin. At that moment, I realized what had happened. I accidentally dosed myself with a small bit of MDMA when I licked my finger in the cab.... 8(
It really must have been very strong stuff because I really didn't think there was all that much on my finger...it didn't taste like there was!
I told my girlfriend and she laughed at me, and apologized that she was too tired to stay up and play with me. So, I got up out of bed and danced out of my room to go chat with my roomies. I told them about my silly mistake and how I was now kinda rolling, so they'd have to hang out with me for a while and keep me company. They had no problem with that, we smoked a bunch of weed, I drank more bubbly, and eventually made my way back to bed and went to sleep. Woke up the next day feeling A+.
I still am sticking with my decision to not roll again, at least not for a very, very long time. I need to get to a point where I am completely convinced that I am no longer being affected by my past use before I consider rolling again. It will probably be years before I do again, and that day may not ever come, and I'm ok with that. MDMA stole my soul for a while and is very, VERY slowly giving it back. The lesson I learned here is to listen to my body when it's trying to tell me something, because the reward for listening is FAR greater than what any drug could offer. Every time I remind myself that I am comfortable in my decision to never roll again, I get another small rush of euphoria, sort of like my body giving me a nod and saying "Thanks, man, I appreciate that."
Thanks for reading.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_mdma
substancecode_empathogens
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
roacode_oral
I've had some poor experiences with rolling in the past, including one very, very bad experience when I combined MDMA with computer duster (dumb dumb dumb dumb I know don't lecture me). I've also had some glowing experiences as well. When I first found MDMA, it was what I think was some of the purest product I've ever experienced. Unfortunately, a friend and I abused it, snorting it several times a month for ~2 months, to be honest I do not remember the exact time frame. I never noticed any immediate problems stemming from this, but after this abuse period, I slipped into a very deep, dark, awful depression that lasted for....well....I still feel like I'm affected by it over 2 years later. I've rolled here and there on different product a few times after this, some good experiences, some not so good. Eventually I got to a point where the thought of rolling was making me anxious. I also was at a point where I was convinced that I could feel the 'damage' from a single MDMA roll for months and months after. My girlfriend and I decided this was the very last time we would ever roll, so let's make it a good one and just close the casket for good. I packed two capsules with ~120mg each, gave her one and one for myself, we put them in our pockets along with a couple blue dolphin E pills for boosters later on in the night, and headed to the show. I started feeling very, very anxious and panicky on the way to the show.
We got to the show, it began and I absolutely could not shake this anxiety attack. I didn't want to drop my pill while I was still feeling anxious about it, I wanted to free my mind, but my mind would simply just not free up. My girlfriend was feeling a little anxious too (probably because I was) so she was waiting to drop as well. My friend asked if I'd give him a dolphin, so I did, and he started rolling pretty good, enjoying himself, however I felt no better about it. About halfway through the show, not enjoying it, just freaking out inside about rolling and completely unable to shake it! Finally I decide listen to my body, and to not allow this stupid drug to ruin another good show for me, so I tell myself and my girlfriend that I'm simply not going to take it. She agrees, and decides not to take hers either.
At that very moment, I got a gigantic rush of euphoria, contentment, satisfaction, happiness, comfort and invincibility. I was freed of all the anxiety that had been crippling me all day. The music suddenly surrounded me, grabbed me and flung me up in the sky, where I floated with it for the rest of the event. I was weightless, free of worry, and completely under my own mind's control. My body was thanking me for not destroying it again with MDMA. I felt like I had a revelation, like I just figured out all the problems in the world, I felt high!! My body rewarded my good decision with a complimentary endo-roll (as I like to call it). At that very moment I decided I would never, ever roll again. I almost took the capsule out of my pocket and tossed it in the trash just for good measure, but didn't.
The show ended and you could not wipe the smile from my face. I was watching all the other people running around high as balls, eyes the size of dimes, knowing how they're probably going to feel later on. I was ecstatic to not be a part of them. My girl and I grabbed a cab and headed home, happy as hell, and not even a single drink or drug in our systems. We felt redeemed and renewed, we really are still able to go out and have a good time while sober.
-----------------------------
Now here's where things get a little silly...
-----------------------------
As we're in the cab, my girl turns to me and says "Oh shit, I think my capsule broke open in my pocket". I take my fingers, reach into her pocket and pull it out, and because it was dark in the cab I couldn't see it, so I gave a quick lick to the tip of my finger after touching the cap, and for sure I tasted some MDMA on it, it must have broke open. I shoved it into my pocket and rode the rest of the way home. We decide to stop at the store on the way home for some bubbly. As we're walking through the store, I say to my girlfriend "Wow, I'm SO happy we didn't roll. I'm like, really, really happy! As a matter of fact, I feel so good that I actually feel like I took something..." I noticed the lights in the store appeared a bit over bright, I had a little more energy than I had earlier and actually felt somewhat euphoric....I wrote it off to me just being very proud of myself for not rolling, and also being in the mindset from just leaving a techno show. We bought the bub and made our way home.
She was super tired so we had a quick glass and headed to bed. I chatted with my roommates about the show a bit then headed to bed. As I lay in bed, I felt very restless but not the usual uncomfortable restlessness I get when I can't sleep, it was, for lack of a better word, a 'happy discomfort'. I felt comfortable in the fact that i couldn't sleep, which was weird! I put my arms around my girlfriend and felt a jolt of electric pleasure as my bare hands met her soft skin. At that moment, I realized what had happened. I accidentally dosed myself with a small bit of MDMA when I licked my finger in the cab.... 8(
It really must have been very strong stuff because I really didn't think there was all that much on my finger...it didn't taste like there was!
I told my girlfriend and she laughed at me, and apologized that she was too tired to stay up and play with me. So, I got up out of bed and danced out of my room to go chat with my roomies. I told them about my silly mistake and how I was now kinda rolling, so they'd have to hang out with me for a while and keep me company. They had no problem with that, we smoked a bunch of weed, I drank more bubbly, and eventually made my way back to bed and went to sleep. Woke up the next day feeling A+.
I still am sticking with my decision to not roll again, at least not for a very, very long time. I need to get to a point where I am completely convinced that I am no longer being affected by my past use before I consider rolling again. It will probably be years before I do again, and that day may not ever come, and I'm ok with that. MDMA stole my soul for a while and is very, VERY slowly giving it back. The lesson I learned here is to listen to my body when it's trying to tell me something, because the reward for listening is FAR greater than what any drug could offer. Every time I remind myself that I am comfortable in my decision to never roll again, I get another small rush of euphoria, sort of like my body giving me a nod and saying "Thanks, man, I appreciate that."
Thanks for reading.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_mdma
substancecode_empathogens
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
roacode_oral
Last edited by a moderator:
