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MEGA - Jobs, Resumes, Interviews

captainballs said:
How long do you want me to feel bad?

Forgive me for being like this, but after watching the world from many different perspectives I really don't think that there are too many lines in the United States that shouldn't be crossed. I wish my history had something better to offer - I really do. But I'm here now. I could try to shut the greed off. But who would I be doing it for, while I sit impotent in a crusty apartment, working for people who constantly reinforce the fact that it doesn't pay to fly straight? I can understand how someone with this mindset would seem completely flawed as a person, believe me, but I didn't ask to be born - and now that I'm here, I don't think it's reasonable to voluntarily put my muzzle on since we only last so long here anyways.
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i don't want you to feel bad at all.

i feel that the world is broken, in large part, because people don't want to seem to take responsibility for their actions. i believe this discussion is on the 'part of the problem' side of the equation rather than the 'part of the solution'.

sounds to me like you've decided your only option is to lie to get ahead. if that's the case, i wonder why you'd ask for opinions in the first place...

alasdair
 
The thread exists to outline the things that could go right as well as the things that could go wrong with lying on a resume. Far be it from me to demand that people subtract morality from that equation.
 
One key sociological study demonstrates that it is in the applicant's interest to lie about felony convictions if he or she has them on his or her record. Employers tend to skimp on the background check but are on average very quick to reject admitted felons.

I'm drawing a blank on the author, but it was a 2006 study centered on the Milwaukee, WI area. IIRC correctly, this was during a period of healthy economic expansion rather than recession. Milwaukee employers also tended to be extremely racist.

ebola
 
The obvious answer is to make it illegal to screen criminal background checks, unless you're working in an industry that can demonstrate a special need to do so, like child care, or national defense.
 
^Every industry insists that it's necessary and with good reason, I guess. The ironic thing about listening to highly political arguments about why fibbing about major stuff like this is just plain bad for society and the soul is that employers have already swung a coup de gras against society and the soul. They are not authority figures in any moral sense, they just adopt that role as an extension of being the entity one step up on the food chain. Good people - people who, if there is a god, deserve jobs, are being turned away for getting caught doing things that the people doing the hiring have done as well. And if you've ever been to jail, you know why people end up there - they have too many "tells." Their faces aren't cut out for dishonesty - they are bad liars. And the companies we are supposed to be honest with discriminate against the people who got caught fair and square and are forced to face consequences? I think this employer behavior sends a very clear message about what the rules really are.
 
two wrongs do make a right?

then you should lie big time on your resume, land the job and steal as much as you can from the company until they discover you don't have the necessary experience and fire you...

:\

alasdair
 
over exaggerating on a resume can often get you the job especially if you are also great at interviews

but once you get the job thats a different story

for example my last job, teaching at a college. I got the job but they did check my degree and let me go because me grades weren't good enough for them
 
captainballs said:
Do you promise not to hate when I'm stunting hard?
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i'm not hating, man. i'm giving you my opinion. you're free to ignore it.

if you ask for opinions, you're not just going to get those which agree with you. if you only want to hear from people who agree with you, consider why you're asking in the first place...

alasdair
 
alasdairm said:
captainballs, is it true that you be with Nicki Minaj? I want to stunt like you!

alasdair
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All I can say is just keep it real and do you. It's not about stunting like the next man, even if that man has a bad bitch like Nicki Minaj who be stepping only in Balenciagas and clutching stick in that Barbie pink Ferrari, you dig?
 
Agree with alasdair. CB, you posted this thread and it's a great topic, but you're kind of ruining it man.
 
My bad. Not having a job is messing up my whole flow.

Anyways, here's an update as to the practicality of skewing the resume:

I found a basic data entry job which required 1 year of experience. it's been about 5 years since I've messed around with SQL and I was never an ace in Access, and I definitely don't have a year's experience with either one. So what I'm doing is claiming to have had data entry roles in my previous jobs that amount to a little more than a year total, and right now I'm brushing up on my Access stuff. I can't remember the language at all for SQL or Access.
 
as someone who is putting her (legit) resume together and starting the job hunt herself, it's pretty upsetting that several people have lied about experience and others are giving tips on how to lie effectively. i hope to hell we're not competing for the same opportunities.
 
captainballs said:
My bad. Not having a job is messing up my whole flow.

Anyways, here's an update as to the practicality of skewing the resume:

I found a basic data entry job which required 1 year of experience. it's been about 5 years since I've messed around with SQL and I was never an ace in Access, and I definitely don't have a year's experience with either one. So what I'm doing is claiming to have had data entry roles in my previous jobs that amount to a little more than a year total, and right now I'm brushing up on my Access stuff. I can't remember the language at all for SQL or Access.
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I cant imagine a basic data entry job is going to need a high level of ability in access and SQL, just look up some basic tuts on the net on access and you will be sweet, access uses VB as its language, its not too hard to grasp at all. but like i said, data entry isnt going to be designing or high level maintenance of databases. You will also find that you will pick up how to use access/SQL very quickly once u are forced to work with them, thats what happened with me atleast, i completed 1.5 year course in I.T and you will find that you will learn alot more doing the job then what u were taught while studying. You'll be fine, as with all IT jobs, if you dont know how to do something, google is your best friend.

The real question is do you feel that you could complete your duties in the position and not look like a total dickhead.
 
^Yeah. I can do that. As long as they don't look real hard for reasons to fire me, I guess I'll be fine. I get the feeling, though, that employers these days are definitely able to compulsively shop for employees. Competition is so fierce right now. People like me who used to be winning the game just because the referees were making bad calls are now third or fourth tier compared to the person who has learned to function in reality and have actual skills. It's like a giant market/reality correction is threatening to destroy the lulz.
 
My strategy was to list my work experience with places that were out of business its real hard to check up on anything that way. I have gotten a few jobs this way its suprisingly easy if you can think on your feet in the interview. As for college Ive never had the balls to fake a degree that seems like one of those things that would blow up in your face big time. I dont see any moral problems with it capatilism is dog eat dog the victors go the spoils the losers cry about morals.
 
crimsonjunk said:
My strategy was to list my work experience with places that were out of business its real hard to check up on anything that way. I have gotten a few jobs this way its suprisingly easy if you can think on your feet in the interview. As for college Ive never had the balls to fake a degree that seems like one of those things that would blow up in your face big time. I dont see any moral problems with it capatilism is dog eat dog the victors go the spoils the losers cry about morals.
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I have a pretty big problem with people lying about having a degree. It's one thing to fake working for a job that earned you money, it's quite another to fake a degree that cost you money. Of course I say this hypothetically, because you earned nothing and spent nothing in this exercise. You have to remember, students sacrificed earnings and many went into considerable debt for a piece of paper. Regardless of how wise you feel that decision is, it doesn't give you or anyone the right to falsely claim to have gone through this process.

But that aside, I think (hope anyways) that most employers will ask you to bring in your diploma(s) for their HR personnel records. If they fail at that relatively simple balance, then they probably deserve what they end up with. It's also a fairly simple matter to check the alumni records of accredited schools, so employers really have no excuse for not doing their due diligence.
 
Three interviews later, I got a job. I'm not even going to say how I lied on my resume, but the first company I interviewed for took me aside and started telling me all of the problems with the business, and how they were reluctant to hire someone "who's going to run IBM" for fear that I would be frustrated and quit. The president told me that if he did hire me, it would be to fix his company. LOL. Man, I am no where near finished trolling.
 
Interview Tomorrow - Help Please!

Hey guys! I am literally shaking right now as I just got off the phone about a job interview I have tomorrow for a job I really, really want. It's crazy how much i'm shaking right now! I'm excited and nervous as hell.

However, it has been about 4 years since I had to get an interview, and that wasnt even a real one as it was being done by someone I knew well and already had the job basically so was wondering if you could give me any tips and pointers.

I have a knack for looking too deep into things and questions. The job is for a "Driver's Assistant" which is basically loading up a van with furniture etc, driving to a destination, dropping off the load and whatnot. It pays well and is active, which I want. I really hope to get it, but not to allow my nerves to get the better of me and make me choke when asked questions, such as:

"Why do you want to work for us?"

"Why should we hire you?"

And other variations....so basically if anyone has any advice, tips on answering some of the common questions and general bits of info that would be so, so appreciated like you wouldn't believe.

Thank you very much. Ideally if you could answer me tonight (my interview is in 19 hours) that would be great :)

Thanks
 
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