honeywhite
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2012
- Messages
- 90
I suffer from anxiety. Not panic attacks, but 2-3 day nail bite-a-thons. I've had the endless conversations with numerous doctors etc. Diazepam put me to sleep. Serax ditto. Librium is utterly inefficacious at normal doses; at huge doses that should knock an elephant out, they knock me out and after I wake up, I act super-drunk in the way you'd EXPECT a drunk to act. Last year, I was introduced to the one wonderful substance that worked: phenobarbitone. Well, turns out it's not the ONLY substance that works! Amylobarbitone (= amobarbital for you leftponders) has similar effects but lasts shorter and gives me (what a surprise!) hangovers. Pentobarbitone is just plain fun!
They produce effects that are, to me, indistinguishable from alcohol, in the way you'd expect ME to act (more talkative but can still hold a conversation, relaxed, etc). Phenobarbitone is still the original and best. Lasts forever, doesn't cloud up my mind, no hangover. Barbiturates do make me lean back when sitting; opioids make my head nod---you'll always know which I've taken by the way my body hits the chair.
If I didn't have access to pheno on prescription, the next-best is just plain liquor. Unfortunately that wreaks havoc on my stomach. Or (I suppose) the hydrate of chloral, but I'd have to buy or synthesise that (not a controlled drug here---not even considered a drug!) Also wreaks havoc on my stomach.
Doses: I'm up to 1000mg, not taken every day of course. Ten tablets. Usually with a bit of modafinil thrown in, and a litre of coffee or so, plus a moderate-to-high nicotine habit. DO NOT TAKE MY DOSE. Do not take anything CLOSE to my dose. 300mg is the maximum permissible pheno dose under normal circumstances. Unfortunately I have STILL run into the problems of tolerance but NOT dependence; I can quit using any time (and often do for weeks at a time) with no problems.
The one problem I have is the inability to walk in a straight fucking line, or to keep the car in the middle of the fucking lane. I normally limp (thanks, 18-wheeler that hit me); if I'm drunk on pheno (high is not a way to describe it), I shuffle. If I drive, I end up driving ON the line instead of BETWEEN them. I can imagine the thoughts of the other drivers.
Anyone else experience this?
They produce effects that are, to me, indistinguishable from alcohol, in the way you'd expect ME to act (more talkative but can still hold a conversation, relaxed, etc). Phenobarbitone is still the original and best. Lasts forever, doesn't cloud up my mind, no hangover. Barbiturates do make me lean back when sitting; opioids make my head nod---you'll always know which I've taken by the way my body hits the chair.
If I didn't have access to pheno on prescription, the next-best is just plain liquor. Unfortunately that wreaks havoc on my stomach. Or (I suppose) the hydrate of chloral, but I'd have to buy or synthesise that (not a controlled drug here---not even considered a drug!) Also wreaks havoc on my stomach.
Doses: I'm up to 1000mg, not taken every day of course. Ten tablets. Usually with a bit of modafinil thrown in, and a litre of coffee or so, plus a moderate-to-high nicotine habit. DO NOT TAKE MY DOSE. Do not take anything CLOSE to my dose. 300mg is the maximum permissible pheno dose under normal circumstances. Unfortunately I have STILL run into the problems of tolerance but NOT dependence; I can quit using any time (and often do for weeks at a time) with no problems.
The one problem I have is the inability to walk in a straight fucking line, or to keep the car in the middle of the fucking lane. I normally limp (thanks, 18-wheeler that hit me); if I'm drunk on pheno (high is not a way to describe it), I shuffle. If I drive, I end up driving ON the line instead of BETWEEN them. I can imagine the thoughts of the other drivers.
Anyone else experience this?