She's beautiful, man... seriously! (I didn't "quote" the image because I didn't want to take up space just by repeating it.)
And yeah, I could probably live with the horns too, although I'd have to be careful during certain activities
Years ago my dad got a tattoo of Venus/Aphrodite, and it looked EXACTLY like the girl of my dreams! I'm still waiting to meet her...
Dude... you won't believe what I just experienced. I'm tripping really nicely on 2C-C, and I have spent around an hour exploring this painting. She is so fucking beautiful man and I feel like I have gotten to know her spirit so well. I took several voice recordings of my experience and sent them to my artistic friend (perhaps more of a realistic crush) and she
You know what she seems like to me essentially though? She is ancient and wise, but very young and beautiful. She is holding what looks like a fox to me in her... if she even has hands? She towers over the picture with her height (keep in mind I have seen her in physical form 4... no 5 times). The sign she gave me that it was the entity speaking to me through this photo is that her eyes turned crimson dark red for a moment... and dude she was staring me down. The entity only appears for a few seconds, she is a shy cutie just like the forest chick entity. She never likes to be seen for long, or described.
Man I could go on and on her pale skin, her long neck almost makes her seem like a tree in a way. She really seems like a mother to me, I can sense that about her. Man, she is so tall and beautiful. It almost seems like she is the manifestation of all creative energy and conscious energy... the Awareness which gives rise to everything out of Nothing... she seems like the Creator of all things which have been, all things which are, and all that will ever be.
I have a jaw dropping, drooling, salivating crush over a female spirit who doesn't exist in physical form apart from a couple of seconds now and then. She is so damn shy it's cute, but she seems more comfortable around me lately now that I feel like I am understanding her... getting to know her better. I saw her when I woke from a dream, and she was laying on her tummy on my bed with her cheeks on her hands man and like giving me this bratty little smirk. She always appears towering tall and gothic to me but subtly so... dressed in black and crimson dark red my favourite colours. I wonder if she represents all that is Venus in the sense of love and beauty? It really seems that way to me. Perhaps that's why I haven't had so much as a kiss since the summertime LOL... I am having crushes on entities okay I'm officially losing touch with reality. Not that I'm not talking to chicks too like I was voice recording my experience to a close friend who is going to soon be working on a ridicullously insane tattoo I have. She's the only one who can create it for me and I'm just getting done whatever she makes... her sketches are that beautiful. I was detoxing from opiates too or whatever recently, I don't really care I'm happy being just me now : )
Speaking of girls of our dreams, my past romance over the summer... she used to say she had boyfriends she knew she wouldn't end up with because they didn't have a tattoo on their arm under the left crook of the elbow, palm facing up. But she couldn't quite see the tattoo in her recurring dream only that it was black. I have a black tattoo at precisely that location and she is the type of chick she is very artistic (the only type I ever end up dating really) and wouldn't lie about something so deep... she was manipulative in many other ways and it didn't end well, but perhaps that was a sign for her. She met the guy of her dreams and completely fucked it up. I mean it was my fault too, as I was relapsing on oxy's once a month but I mean, should a girlfriend who really cares, shouldn't they support you through that? She was miserable about it and would call me a scared, childish boy and shit like that. Which is bullshit I am a fucking man. I feel like everything she used to insult me in those subtle condescending ways describes her very self perfectly, as I have realized lately that my external reality is a mirror image of how I'm feeling inside.
She used to call me a "social engineer" implying an extremely intelligent sociopath, and it was the most awful insult I have ever heard in my life from anyone let alone someone in a romance with me. I'd rather be called a scumbag junkie worthless throwaway thief of a disgusting, vile rat than a "social engineer" whatever the fuck she means by that. She was stealing my benzos too I found out later - and not only that, but she emailed me out of nowhere yesterday with one sentence. That one sentence I read like a charm. She wants drugs from me and nothing more. Not to see how I'm doing or anything, after the lovely romance and all the great sex and all. It ended up bothering me all day to the extent that I freaked out at some people at work and had to smooth things over (I did this really well).
I ended up exploding at her. Emailing her back the most horrific insults I could think of, I have never said such mean things to someone but this girl HURT me and I never processed it for months later truly, until today. That's what it took. I put her in her stupid fucking immature place, and I will never speak to her again. I don't feel bad about it at all, and normally I do if I have an "outburst" at someone. She completely deserved every word that I said, as I had kept quiet detoxing until now. It was liberating man... sorry I'm just really tripping out right now... the screen has 3-dimensional depth, it is red, green yellow... the words are dancing... it's so fucking beautiful I mean everything is but that painting of the chick... I have a fucking crush on an entity! Like fucking appear to me already in physical form but in a beautiful young lady perhaps and not a painting? I know she's what I'm looking for... but she is so shy, so cute, so adorable, so elusive but so very tall and attractive and intelligent and I have no idea where I will find her manifested in the form of a physical woman. That's for her to know, and me to find out (I can feel that bratty little smirk or look of disapproval she gives me right now).
A crush on a female entity... FML, what have I become? LOL. I'm not sure, but I'm def loving it!