So I haven't posted in a while because I went to rehab. Not just any rehab, my family is not the most informed family... and they aren't the type to really research shit.. so they sent me to a place called "Narconon"... It was fucking hell. At the same time, I am now sober (except the occasional weed smoking and kratom use), I work full time now and am functioning again as a human being after a long battle with Meth, benzo and heroin addiction.
To give you guys a quick back story, I was struggling off and on with meth addiction mainly, I would binge for a week or so.. finally quit, then in no time relapse again. This last relapse was REALLY bad. I not only smoked and injected copious amounts of meth but I had acquired 2 bottles of pills. 1 was 30 1mg tablets of lorazepam and the other was 60 1mg tablets of clonazepam. The 2nd day of my meth binge I began taking the benzos. I don't remember anything past the 2nd day but apparently I got on facebook, cussed out a bunch of friends... drove all over San Diego, puked all over the side of my car, smoked heroin, showed up at people's houses, stole shit from a liquor store, broke my phone, etc. I have no memory of any of this. Last thing I remember was taking 4 or 5 lorazepam and smoking meth in my friend's room.
Next thing I know, I wake up in a strange room I didn't recognize with 2 other beds and a poster of L. Ron Hubbard over my bed. I felt like absolute shit and soon enough I talked to someone and was informed I was in rehab. Apparently one of my friends called my family and they did an intervention on me. I have no memory of that. I found out later though that I had consumed both bottles of benzos and was caught with needles, a meth pipe, weed, a weed pipe, a foil ball with heroin residue, a bottle of Mirtazapine, a bottle of diphenhydramine, a bottle of dextromethorphan HBr, a bottle of valerian root, 2 bottles of Maeng Da Kratom, a bottle of hydroxyzine and a bottle of seroquel. My parents thought I was sober at this point.. so you can imagine their surprise. They didn't even know I smoked weed...
Anyhow, I was driven against my will (I yelled at them and begged them not to take me, because I knew who L. Ron Hubbard was... and I was not going to fucking go anywhere with scientologists without a fucking fight)... and I eventually was forced into the car and driven out to the middle of fucking no where. I was stuck in a cottage that was disgusting, (bugs and spiders everywhere, mice and rats too) and I was locked in a room. I was called a faggot at least 100 times, and at this point I began withdrawing and started puking, diarrhea, hallucinating etc. They wouldn't get me food or water either. I just shat myself and puked in a bucket. I eventually tried to hang myself with my bed sheets... I was then sent to a psych ward... where my family refused to visit me and believed them when they said they were not associated with the church of scientology. FUCK SCIENTOLOGY AND FUCK SCIENTOLOGISTS. Just want to say that now.
After being there for 3 days, when I tried to leave, the Narconon fuckers were waiting outside and they informed me if I said I wouldn't go with them they would give my family my wallet, phone and clothes... that I would be left with nothing and that my mother would call the police. I argued with them for a bit but then realized I had no fucking idea where I was and I had no real choice but to go back with them to Narconon. When I went back, they threw me back in the room and treated me even worse than before. I also suspected my "Withdrawal specialists" were on drugs.. (they were, 11 staff members were fired while I was there for being on meth, heroin, methadone etc.) because there they have NO nurses, or doctors etc. All it takes to work there, is to graduate the program.
Eventually I begged to go to the doctor because I couldn't stop puking. I was sent to a doctor, where I tried to make a run for it again with no success. They chased me down and I eventually went into the doctors office and tried to tell them what they were doing to me.... the doctor didn't believe me and they told the doctor "He's a drug addict, you can't believe anything they say". Even my own mother said the same thing when I told her what they were doing... which was essentially torturing me... They overdosed me on zofran, I finally felt okay enough to go to the actual center.. where "staff members" would constantly hit on and have sex with the drug addicts, they would bully people mercilessly, they pretty much forced me to cut off my hair and for 3 months I remained in that hell. They taught us absolutely NOTHING about how to stay sober... they just made us do weird shit like stare at each other in the eyes for 2 hours, touch walls over and over again "Look at that wall, thank you... walk over to that wall... thank you... touch that wall... thank you..." "Do birds fly?" etc. It was so fucking bizarre. Then they made us sit in a dry sauna for 5 hours a day taking absolutely dangerous dosages of niacin... (we had to go up to 5000 mg without reacting... and every time you would react to the niacin... you'd have to take that same dosage again... until you stopped. I would pocket my niacin and even purged in the bathroom niacin I had taken because they watched me take it... They constantly listened to your phone calls, they constantly watched you... they lied about everything... What a fucking nightmare. I lost 40 lbs while in there, didn't sleep for a solid 2 weeks, cried more times than I've ever cried in my life and truly saw more fucked up shit than I can even tell you.
Now that I'm out and back home, lucky as I am... since many are stuck there... they tell your family you're not ready to leave yet so you should stay and intern... aka work for practically free, illegal hours for a few months before being shipped off to ABLE which is the (Church of Scientology headquarters) then you get fully brainwashed and become a lying sack of shit piece of garbage scientologist. My family spent 35,000 dollars to send me to a place that didn't do anything for me except make a few great friends and know the true meaning of "suffering"... I have to admit that is the best part about Narconon. They make you suffer so badly that it makes everything else in life seem significantly more tolerable.
Now that I'm home though, my anxiety is back... depression is back etc. I'm trying to move out as soon as I feasibly can so that way my family can never send me away to some shit hole like that again. It sucks always saying how much it "helped me" and how "Grateful" I am to them for sending me there because I'm literally so scared to this day to tell the truth that I'm worried if they think it didn't work they will try to send me somewhere else... or even worse.. send me back to Narconon. I'd fucking commit suicide before going back there.
But yeah. If you ever consider rehab DO NOT go to Narconon. It's a scam created by the church of scientology. Don't go to "Fresh Start" either. That's another name for Narconon that they use to lure people in. Both sites do not mention L. Ron Hubbard or the church of scientology. But trust me... you don't want to go to any of those places. If you fucking live through their program (which you might not, quite a few people have died while in Narconon due to niacin poisoning and neglect).. you won't be the same after.