Dependancy sucks. I was thinking about this the other day, comparing it to another drug i love, amphetamines. Funny enough, my amp comedowns and need for a soft landing is most likely what led me into opiate addiction... Benzos help but opiates are way better. Amphetamines, you go up, and then come down right after, so I liken that to the withdrawal part of using. With opiates, you use, and use, and never really comedown, but after enough days of use, you will experience withdrawal upon cessation. Its not as quick as amphetamines, but its real. Amphetamines, you can use for days (not in one binge, but like once per day, inthe morning, still getting normal sleep), and never have that long term, drawn out withdrawal, unless you seriously use a ton all the time and binge out. Either way, it seems with most drugs, even drinking (getting drunk, followed by the hangover), the amount you go up, is always accompanied by the equal amount of "down" time. Funny enough, if you can avoid addiction and using everyday, you can do opiates, without the trade off of "down" time, if you avoid using enough to cause withdrawal. Good luck with that, tho.
Im utterly useless when withdrawing. I hate everyone, have no energy, no passion, and no interests. Its fucked. As much as I tell myself mind over matter, the day before, that never helps, or happens. I really dont know how anyone functions in W/D. Props if you can. And Woosa, you manage to pay all your bills BEFORE using money for D? Hats off... thats where I started slipping. Junkie mindset: "oh well whats the point paying the car bill on time, if im too sick to even need it to driv to work... Oh I need work to get money to pay the bills... So, its only logical that I pay this bill late, and ge the dope, cuz without it, i cant work, thus cant pay any bills..." Yea, slippery slope.
I gotta stop! 