Heroin Speedballs now sort of SCARY everytime

[ElvisPillsley]

Not saying I don't love 'em, but as I said they're sorta scary most of the time now, and almost always sorta uncomfortable for some amount of time.

I can't describe how fuckin' much I love(d) the feeling a SB gave me. I suppose if you have done them you get what I mean, at least so far the indescribable part. Now, even though I have been using far less quantity of the each ingredient on every SB, as I said they kinda have an unpleasant aspect. Sorta makes me sad to think I could lose something that I could turn to for a feeling and pleasure nothing else can give, nothing even compares. To clarify, I don't mean SBs are the best pleasure of life and that I'd take a SB over any of life's sweet moments, not at all. But as for chemical vacations, SBs ARE it to the point that using either ingredient alone is like, a drag. I sorta laugh and sorta wanna cry at myself realizing that H, for me, just isn't sufficient - gotta take that and go further with it. Hey, if you're gonna have en expensive habit, fuck it, go ahead and double the cost for yourself.

So, any idea what would cause this? Both ingredients are super high quality to the point that I can't buy from other people - certainly not the blow. It's grade A, breaks down 100% clear with no cut, it's primo. Dope is also very good. A friend suggested it's that I've lost weight and sometimes don't eat much, though I haven't lost much if any weight in the recent time this has started happening. I've also wondered if being sleep deprived has any impact, some of the times this has happened I've been up for days, other times like today I got 8+ hours.

Hey maybe it's a blessing, if I came to hate speedballs I'd be better for it. If I had the choice I'd do them maybe once a month or so, just an occasional treat. That however, isn't how this shit works so I guess hating them is the most reliable way out.

 

[tricomb]

Did you really have to make a new thread about speedballs, don't you have like 3 or more other threads all on this topic?

What's even the question here. You're habit and lifestyle is killing you, it's that simple, what kind of answers are you looking for?

 

[ElvisPillsley]

The question is the one asked... any idea why all of a sudden they feel different.

Never said they're healthy, but this is Bluelight so... your jab is kinda peculiar. Yes I have other threads regarding this, but this is different and I was curious. SORRY!

 

[Felonious Monk]

His answer was to the question you asked. Speedballs are incredibly unhealthy. You're just feeling the effects.

 

[Grinders Kiefers]

Sorry, but what do you expect to happen staying up for days doing speedballs? I'm sure you're aware of the inherent danger with this combination, high quality material and lower doses may be "safer", but they don't just negate the risks involved. IV coke or heroin alone are an extremely slippery slope, and both together have claimed more than one victim; don't think you're any different. This is at least the third thread I've seen you post about speedballs in the past week, one of them about overdosing on said combination, so my only advice would be to stop while you're ahead.

 

[tricomb]

^this

 

[crzydiamond]

If you shoot coke for days in a row you will deplete your dopamine to the point you barely feel a rush, even from a good amount of coke. I was up one time for about 6 days and I got to the point I could cleanly hit a good shot and it felt like I just started to go up then nothing. Kinda like a miss but it wasn't. I was just to the point I needed to sleep and let my brain replenish the dopamine

So if you're doing this for days on end with no breaks and lack of sleep you could just need a break and some sleep so your brain can repair itself...

 

[tricomb]

Yeah man you need that Stage IV + REM sleep.

 

[ElvisPillsley]

Well I didn't actually OD that time I posted that, I just worried myself badly. I had myself convinced that if I tried hard enough to stay conscious/awake that I would not OD so I was doing things like holding my eyes open very hard and touching cold things. None of that shit would keep someone conscious if they're ODing, obviously. I wasn't thinking very clearly.

But yeah, I know that SBs are about the worst thing you can do but I figure that if I'm doing IV anything, and I really like SBs, I'm doing that. Let's not pretend anyone who does any IV shit is being good to themselves or isn't risking their life. Someday I'm gonna have to stop, you're right. I'm hoping it goes like all other things I've been into. Tabs were my thing, then tolerance got too high and along with it cost, pain in the ass to come by, and all that. So, that's that. My guess is since I've been spoiled with having this excellent powder I will not settle for anything else, nor would anything else work sufficiently. Same with dope, I wont' buy bags anymore, only half and whole Gs - which I can't believe these dudues will even do. A half G is $75,a B is $80. So, you get more for less with the half. Beyond this I'm kinda hoping my life changes a bit or rather a lot in a way that would keep me from doing this very often at all, perhaps the once a month I mentioned. Fortunately I haven't got a physical dependence so that is possible for me.

 

[ElvisPillsley]

Thank you for taking the time to post a really thoughtful and sincere reply like that. It surprised me, so thanks.

Anyway, yeah you're right about justification and the lack of WDs for me DOES give me the feeling that if I decided to stop tomorrow I'd be able to unlike most every other dope user I know. Don't know why I'm blessed to not WD, but I don't, and having seen how it is for those who do, I am so grateful. Though, I will have to keep in mind what you said about it providing a false sense of control. Clearly, based on how much I wish I hadn't done since I used a needle the first time in November, my mental compulsion is more than strong enough to compensate for the lack of physical.

When thinking rationally, I can't believe what I do and continue to do having realized:

-if arrested I lose my license to do my career - which I worked super hard to get and have a lot of debt out of it
-I've OD'd and would have died if not for someone finding me at least twice perhaps three times. Because I'm so mentally sound, the most recent time I got more the next day.
-the sheer selfishness or risking my life thereby potentially making my parents bury their child
-THE MONEY I'VE BLOWN. Holy shit, it's incredible and disgusting.
-I could die but apparently that isn't a major concern of mine
-I now have to go at my scars with a fuckin' pumice stone to remove them, which I did once already and it worked. Of course, I had to go back to it and they returned

I'm for the first time really hoping to change , which I'm hoping is at least a positive step

 

[ElvisPillsley]

Regarding the widely accepted greater danger of SBs, I am not 100% convinced. No one says why, it's just stated as so. I know it tells your heart to do opposite things, but if you have a healthy heart, and it doesn't kill you then and there I doubt there's much lasting damage there.

The two do potentiate the high, but I don't believe they make the other more powerful in terms of how they cause OD. In fact, if you've done too much H, the coke seems as though it'd be helpful in that it might keep you conscious slightly longer to recognize it and call out to someone or use the phone, or use the narcan some people have at home, etc. Similarly, if you put too much coke in and it's gonna OD you, which to my knowledge a coke OD is always a heart attack - I'm guessing that the dope would perhaps prevent the heart attack as it is a depressant and slows that system down.

My guess is that in most SB overdoses, the person would have ODd on the amount of dope they did alone. I was reading about Chris Farley's death, and if true, he was conscious when the hooker he was with left, and asked her not to leave him. In any OD I've ever seen, the person has no clue what's about to happen and has no time to say shit. If Farley did have that time, I'm guessing from the coke. Who knows. If true and had she stayed and called 911 he may have lived, how often has anyone seen an OD play out like that where the victim asks for help?

Also, in a "SB OD," it's really from one or the other, not from the combo. If it's coke, probably a heart attack, if it's dope it's respiratory. So again, my guess is the doese of whatever caused the OD would have done it on it's own. When I ODd doing two speedballs within 1 minute of each other (brilliant I know), I had no fuckin idea to the point the syringe was in my arm and I always take it out immediatley. The EMTs revived me with narcan, thus the opiate level was the problem, not the coke or combo - had I done two shots of dope with the same amounts back to back so quickly I bet the same thing would have happened.

Who knows, maybe I'm 100% wrong and hope no one would read this post and go off doing SBs assuming they're safe somehow... I don't know shit about shit.

 

[socko]

The EMTs revived me with narcan, thus the opiate level was the problem, not the coke or combo - had I done two shots of dope with the same amounts back to back so quickly I bet the same thing would have happened.

Who knows, maybe I'm 100% wrong and hope no one would read this post and go off doing SBs assuming they're safe somehow... I don't know shit about shit.

I have a technical question. If he had loaded more coke but kept the amount of heroin the same, would the coke have stimulated his breathing enough that he wouldn't have OD'd? Or would it have made the experience even worse or killed him?

 

[Kid Amine]

Regarding the widely accepted greater danger of SBs, I am not 100% convinced. No one says why...

Here's why: you're mixing two drugs that have basically opposite effects. They do not have equal half lives. The coke lets one do more heroin, then, when it wears off sooner, you're left in a precarious depressive state. It's why people die from speedballs. While I too suppose heart attack is possible from a heavy coke weighted SB, or with super good coke, everyone I known that died/ODd from them did so because of respiratory failure.

"So again, my guess is the doese of whatever caused the OD would have done it on it's own"

No, because on its own, heroin or coke regulate themselves by telling your body how high you are. Mixed, they regulate each other, and put your body's own defense mechanisms on the back burner. When they are done playing their chemical tug of war, the heroin is still gonna be there. You ever hear of people going back out after being given Narcan? It's because the stuff doesnt last very long, and it's possible to clear it out of your system whilst still being high, and OD again, w/o taking any more drugs.

It's why some people are kinda up in arms about mixing energy drinks with alcohol... shitload of caffeine (stimulant) + alcohol (depressant) = ability to drink more before realizing you're too fucked up.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

You posted about how you overdosed on dope once, be careful and stay safe.

Quit doing speedballs, and cocaine and heroin while you're alive and still can. If you need help quitting stimulants and withdrawing from opiates check into a detox/rehab.

 

[Keif' Richards]

Intravenous cocaine has always scared the shit out of me. It's a very odd paradox. It's so pleasurable, but at the same time you're afraid that your heart is going to explode. I've only IV'ed cocaine a handful of times in my life. I'm not into drugs that only last for a couple of minutes but cost just as much cash as opiates.

I'd rather just spend the money on more heroin or whatever the opiate of choice is. I have of course known many people with the dual cocaine/heroin addiction and all it does is put more money in the hands of the dope man. All that IV cocaine is selling you is a complete hijacking of your reward system. In my experience, people who IV cocaine typically just sit and stare during the rush or check the windows. Then it's over. I like to do heroin and play guitar, or write, or read. This is not a commentary on my superiority, I could just as easily be an IV cocaine addict as anyone else. God knows I have an addictive personality.

 

[ElvisPillsley]

I know you're right. Frankly, and I'm not trying to sound hard ass or like anything but how I feel. So, losing my life isn't my primary motivation for cutting back/quitting. The financial toll and the fact that no way in hell can I lead the life I have wanted for myself as things are. Something has to give, and considering how hard I have worked toward the life I want (as I always do encounter people who for whatever reason think I'm lying, I'm sure same will happen here) I'm a lawyer and did very well in school, went above and beyond merely showing up for class.

I've got a lot of potential and talent that I am flushing living this way. I need to turn myself around because this just isn't okay. As I previously said someplace, I'd be happy if I got to a place where I used SBs a couple times a month... absolutely. I have no physical dependence to kick/worry about bringing back so that helps a lot.

I've overdosed 3 or 4 times. Twice I would have died for sure, and I suppose was dead for a short while, if not for someone being there with me and calling 911, another time I did stop breathing but after a buddy did CPR and watched over me for hours I came to just fine, and the other time I don't recall much other than having taken about 20 hydro 10s during that day, drinking very heavily at a party and then sniffing at least a half mB at once. Woke up next morning on the kitchen floor with puke EVERYWHERE, some of which I aspirated, wound up hospitalized with pneumonia from it.

Most semi-normal humans would have stopped after the puke incient, or definitely the time(s) I died.

I feel myself getting to the point of winding down almost daily... so I do think that day will come in due time. I can't make myself get there though, it's gotta be organic or it'll never take. That's just me.

 

[ElvisPillsley]

Fair enough, though my two ODs from SBs were:

Having a bar in me and using fentanyl laced dope

Shooting good sized SBs one almost immediately after the first.

 

[ElvisPillsley]

As I think about this and anything else related to the hard stuff I've gotta ask myself do I really expect to reach a logical sensible conclusion related to buying shooting diretly into my blood powders that cost a fortunate, contain god knows what, can easily kill, has almost gotten me a few times, not that I slowed down or even thought about it after that, same with my buddy who is nearly done with a 28 day he went into entirely to save his Subs Rx after he ODd and had tobe taken to the ER. His big thing is raging super hard dayhe's out with the money he's saved up being in there.

Shit most poeple swear off a liquor that makes them puke once, my thing truly neary killed me, and I believe did for a short time. Beyond that, given my profession if I got busted I would lose my license I worked so hard toward, spent lots of money on,and so on. Shit I was one of the luckiest SOBs last july when my lawyer handled the 3 misdemeanor possession charges like a sage: (a) I didn't appear in court once; (b) got me ACDs on all - don't get arrested for a year of that date and they're tossed 100%; he charged me a whopping $500 to do it. The guy is one of the truly good ones.

And of course, baving been dead from this shit not stopping me, a little legal trouble that turned out to be nothing didn't either. Thing I hate most about that whole ordeal was i drank heavily immediately afterward and had an appointment with my pain mgmt doc around then so my alcohol levels were off the chart - booted me. I'm sure everyone can see that would be a bummer but it hurt me especially bad. What I referred to as Pill Day was like Christmas every month, and 2 months prior to losing it all I got written generic Opana 20 mg, which can be crushed easily (G73). 60 of those on top of my 120 10 mg Endocet was truly amazing for a junkie like myself. Still makes me sad... Shit if nothing else I could sell the opana for $25 a pop - which if I sold the whole thing brought me $1,500 tax free. Were I to sell the percs for say $6 or 7 each, which considering a vicodin is 5 or 6 now is probably too cheap, so fuck it say 7 each is $840. Before NYS got the faggot script monitoring system I ALSO got 60 bars a month and 120 20 mg IR adderall. Xanax at $4 x 60 = 240 and then the adderall also for $4 is $480 for a grand total of $2,660 tax free and for doing and for doing absolutely nothing. I've begged, pleaded, even pointed out that once they gave me two perc scripts and I brought one right back (though that hurt to do), but they will not have me back. I'm sure it's insurance and worries about being deemed a pill mill based and I get it... but fuck me man. I had it so fuckin' good I would never have done anything to screw that up knowingly. Though I didn't sell everything , merely getting rid of 30 opana, all my adderall and say 15 xanax was a small fortune.

My best hope right now is the new primary I see who I hear writes whatever you need. First visit he did give me bars which was nice, he said he'd see about all the rest after reviewing my records and a physical. I've been putting off the physical because I need my arms to heal. Much like my stupidity losing pain mgmt, a couple months back after i literally scrubbed my skin OFF with a pumice stone down to the moist red pink flesh and even then just to make sure went at it several more times to the point that the light was sort of getting brighter and my hearing got weird... shit hurt. Anyway, it worked - no more track marks/line. So here I've got the prime spot back working like a charm, told myself I'd rotate, but NOPE, got it right back to where it iwas. So, toeday I get to fuckin' mutilate myself again. If it gets me my pain meds back I'd be happy to do it 12 times. Thankfully I do have an MRI showing a subluxation at L5-S1 so having that tangible ailment coupled with me having a pretty good rap about it (oh Doc, sitting in front of a computer too long is the worst thing for it and that's my job 90% of the time; though working out regularly helps keep that at bay, but often my back bothers me to the point that I don't work out. When I was getting those pain killers though, I had no problem working out... they really helped me big time - even my depression improved thanks to the exercise I was able to do...) If this dude by some miracle continues writing the 2 bars daily and brings back the percs and opana I would be willing to open mouth kiss him... I would love to be able to go back to pill popping being my thing and with Endocet and fuckin' crushable opana it would indeed. Only concern I have is I've read that snorting the G73s leaves what's called/resembles ground glass in your lungs eventually. Last fall I had some respiratory problems, not sure exactly why, but it got to the point that I could barely breathe, it was a struggle each and every. Anyway, sure enough, xrays show ground glass looking shit in there. So, if I get 'em back what do I do? Sell em all and buy something else? Gonna be tough to find a piill which will touch Pandas... do I snort em and say fuck it? Do I shoot them despite knowing/having read that doing so causes a blood disorder? Dunno, but dammit I was able to get myself switched from shitty MS Contin to Opana G73s so I'm sure I can figure something out.

Writing this I realize that yes, my favorite single day of every month was the one where I got my pain pills. I'd buy a case of beer and whatever food, camp out in the basement playing Gran Theft Auto 5 and didn't wanna hear shit from anyone. Yes, I'm a junkie. If everyone knew the joy that day or kind of thing brings, they would be too.

 

[ElvisPillsley]

I know this will draw some problem because someone will say it isn't HR... so I also will note I don't intend to rely on any one answer, and probably won't even change anything from what I do presently. So, it is HR or at least it isn't at all bad.

1) If I were to get a scale... how would I ever know what amounts to use? Well, the yey is pretty consistent and I think can be eyed fine. The dope is the issue, but it is not anywhere near as reliable, so what's the point? Is this it: do a test shot, if it's good and you do wanna really feel it... what do you do then? Multiply by 6? Not trying to be a dickhead but really I do not see how using a scale for this makes any sense.

Ok, so now even the dope amount is figured out precisely, so I guess every time you SB out of THOSE TWO bags, use the amount you basically guessed and didn't die and perhaps felt it, then multiplied by 6 (no reason for the 6 just a joke) and you're safe for the remainder of those two baggies! Unless of course purity does vary in batches, including smalltime oz types, and I believe even the sandwich bag you buy it in... seriously. So, definitely make sure you've got the exact same amount of potentially 40% cut in your cooker same as you had maybe 18% last time. All this precaution and planning should keep everyone safe and alive and maybe make you a hero! So, um, do I bother with the scale?

2) GENERALLY speaking, I've concluded that dope ODs, as well as speedball ones, are gonna happen nearly immediately, as in rig still quick. I am not asking for answers to live by, not answers to tell other people as if gospel, not anything but a generality based on experienc preferably. If you're in med school very very good and you should be proud of yourself indeed, but even if you truly are going for MD, I don't care at all about textbook answers which will inevitably include the supposed grave danger of cocaine wearing off before the heroin you shot simultaneously. Frankly, provided you have a tolerance which you should definitely have if you're getting into or even trying a SB... going headfirst into that seems like a horrible idea. Anyway, while the shit about coke being shorter acting/shorting HL thereby potentially ODing someone well after their shot because of this is known, and not what I'm asking. I'm asking if the sorta OD that absolutely 110% sneaks up on you, with no warning and no opportunity to do a thing about it. Hopefully you're with at least one good friend, happened to me and had I been alone I'd be probably like 40 degrees at my core presently.

Having legitimate answers to these two questions do reduce harm I believe because this scale business seems to be more trouble than it's worth (which may well be nothing) and could well give a false sense of security to someone because every dose is weighed out... bfd. Differences in purity, primarily, void the idea and as I said seems potentially more dangerous than eyeballing... which if you can't do you also should not be SBing. This isn't an accomplishment or club you join, I don''t mean for it to sound like that, but SBs are potentially deadly and I have personally suffered greatly because someone who probably should not have been doing certain things did anyway, and with zero regard for the purity issue coupled with tolerance. Don't be like them, I know I need to tell myself this same shit.

The answer to question 2 is super important I think because those of us who often use alone need to know when we can basically say fuck it and chill out instead of worrying ourselves sick about shit. My own experience tells me that if you're alive about 5 mins after doing it, you're okay. That is a harm reduction statement right there because it allows people to conclude that either they're ok or seriously need attention. If after 5 minutes you really feel... I guess like you are ODing or close, you should definitely call 911. Never wait the 5 minutes to think about whether you could be ODing, I just know an intense high with legs and feel like a non-stop serious problem, which really sucks because it should be pure bliss. Fuckin' Obama.

 

[pbuilder]

I know this will draw some problem because someone will say it isn't HR... so I also will note I don't intend to rely on any one answer, and probably won't even change anything from what I do presently. So, it is HR or at least it isn't at all bad.

1) If I were to get a scale... how would I ever know what amounts to use? Well, the yey is pretty consistent and I think can be eyed fine. The dope is the issue, but it is not anywhere near as reliable, so what's the point? Is this it: do a test shot, if it's good and you do wanna really feel it... what do you do then? Multiply by 6? Not trying to be a dickhead but really I do not see how using a scale for this makes any sense.

Ok, so now even the dope amount is figured out precisely, so I guess every time you SB out of THOSE TWO bags, use the amount you basically guessed and didn't die and perhaps felt it, then multiplied by 6 (no reason for the 6 just a joke) and you're safe for the remainder of those two baggies! Unless of course purity does vary in batches, including smalltime oz types, and I believe even the sandwich bag you buy it in... seriously. So, definitely make sure you've got the exact same amount of potentially 40% cut in your cooker same as you had maybe 18% last time. All this precaution and planning should keep everyone safe and alive and maybe make you a hero! So, um, do I bother with the scale?

2) GENERALLY speaking, I've concluded that dope ODs, as well as speedball ones, are gonna happen nearly immediately, as in rig still quick. I am not asking for answers to live by, not answers to tell other people as if gospel, not anything but a generality based on experienc preferably. If you're in med school very very good and you should be proud of yourself indeed, but even if you truly are going for MD, I don't care at all about textbook answers which will inevitably include the supposed grave danger of cocaine wearing off before the heroin you shot simultaneously. Frankly, provided you have a tolerance which you should definitely have if you're getting into or even trying a SB... going headfirst into that seems like a horrible idea. Anyway, while the shit about coke being shorter acting/shorting HL thereby potentially ODing someone well after their shot because of this is known, and not what I'm asking. I'm asking if the sorta OD that absolutely 110% sneaks up on you, with no warning and no opportunity to do a thing about it. Hopefully you're with at least one good friend, happened to me and had I been alone I'd be probably like 40 degrees at my core presently.

Having legitimate answers to these two questions do reduce harm I believe because this scale business seems to be more trouble than it's worth (which may well be nothing) and could well give a false sense of security to someone because every dose is weighed out... bfd. Differences in purity, primarily, void the idea and as I said seems potentially more dangerous than eyeballing... which if you can't do you also should not be SBing. This isn't an accomplishment or club you join, I don''t mean for it to sound like that, but SBs are potentially deadly and I have personally suffered greatly because someone who probably should not have been doing certain things did anyway, and with zero regard for the purity issue coupled with tolerance. Don't be like them, I know I need to tell myself this same shit.

The answer to question 2 is super important I think because those of us who often use alone need to know when we can basically say fuck it and chill out instead of worrying ourselves sick about shit. My own experience tells me that if you're alive about 5 mins after doing it, you're okay. That is a harm reduction statement right there because it allows people to conclude that either they're ok or seriously need attention. If after 5 minutes you really feel... I guess like you are ODing or close, you should definitely call 911. Never wait the 5 minutes to think about whether you could be ODing, I just know an intense high with legs and feel like a non-stop serious problem, which really sucks because it should be pure bliss. Fuckin' Obama.

You still do a test shot for every new batch with a scale lmao and then you have a point of reference on it's strength and can gauge how milligrams of that batch you will need for a proper shot, and can weigh out your shots for that pick-up.

I don't care what anyone says, just straight eyeballing is stupid as fuck.

Dude you keep repeating yourself and writing unnecessary extra paragraphs when one could get your point across just fine...

You need to seriously slow down and consider rehab man, shooting speedballs is only going to end one way man.