What about you ro4eva, did you experienced those periods of time during your recovery where you felt almost healed for a full week and then suddenly had a setback?
Sorry for the late reply, been really busy as of late.
To answer your question(s) - Absolutely yes I've experienced what has felt like setbacks during my time on the mend. I called them 'bumps on the road.'
Also, every night, I always feel like 90%, with minimum symptoms but then I wake up next morning feeling like shit away, it's a never ending cycle. Can anybody with a LTC relate to this cycle? Everyday around 6pm, I improve a lot but then I wake up every morning dizzy, with derealization, and anxiety again, almost like vertigo's symptoms.
It was the same for me.
Waking up in the morning - I always was at my worst with respect to the severity of symptoms.
As the day went on, my symptoms would decrease in severity, and by around 7 or 8pm, I'd be feeling noticeably better, but not 100%. Some form of aerobic exercise during each day that I did some helped me to feel even better on top of this.
Unfortunately, after I would go to sleep and wake up, I'd feel like complete shit again.
I tried everything to change this.
I went to a sleep clinic. I bought a new bed, mattress, and some really expensive pillows, but it didn't make a difference. And I also tried to change the amount of hours that I slept each night as well. Ironically, the less I would sleep each night, the better I would feel in the morning. How messed up is that, huh? It's the truth though.
To this day, I still cannot explain why this happened, but perhaps it was due to fluctuations in serotonin levels in synapses. I had a nagging suspicion that there was something toxic lingering around in my brain due to the ecstasy use, and I began to wonder if using an SSRI for a bit would help to flush it out completely. It's just a theory, but I did get a lot better after 8 months on Zoloft. And I mean A LOT better.
That being said, I am not endorsing SSRI usage, or any other medication for that matter. You alone need to make that decision. They are potent drugs with potentially serious side effects. Yes, I did end up using three medications to recover, but this may not be the answer for everyone (although I wish it was - would be easier to help anyone suffering from this terrible condition).
Just to finish with, when I look into the mirror, I cannot connect with my eyes, like if my staring was spaced out, empty, I look dizzy and disoriented.
When I felt almost recovered for those 2 weeks, my eyes had a better look and I didn't look that spaced out when looking into the mirror.
Can you relate to this?
Please help!
I've also experienced what you are describing regarding the mirror. It's gone now, but I remember it well.
Since you mention one of them, there was a lot of weird things happening to me when I was sick with this so-called (horrendous) Long Term Comedown. I tried to jot it all down in a journal I kept, but it would have been better if I had used a digital voice recorder or something like that.
I'm sorry if I missed you mentioning any of this, but have you tried using medications at all for this? It may be what is needed for you to improve long term.
I'm not talking about a band-aid effect here. What I mean is that there may be a medication which you go on for a few months to perhaps a year, then you taper off, and the symptoms will never return as long as you don't use anything which may cause another LTC. Something that is toxic to serotonin axons, I'm thinking. It might not even be the drug itself, but rather the precursor chemicals used to synthesize it, but they weren't properly washed off or removed from the final product. Some of these precursors are extremely toxic to our vital organs in surprisingly small amounts.
Anyways, again, I apologize for the late reply.
I hope I've answered your questions, and I will answer more if possible.
Hang in there, you're not alone, I believe I understand what you're going through, it's a pain in the ass I know.
I hope you recover, and I firmly believe you can recover 100% with the proper treatment.
Have a wonderful day Macenroe
