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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 2)

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Today and last night I have gotten a strange new symptom, not sure if it is the anxiety/hypochondria. Its as if my nerves are firing and my hands/feet/legs/back will have random sensations, the most often being a cold feeling. Anybody else experience this?

I don't drink alcohol or caffeine and I stopped using MDMA after a year or more of weekly/biweekly use 3 months ago.
 
What are/have your other symptoms been during these 3 months?

A ton of random things that have come and gone. Mostly panic attack symptoms such as quick heartbeat, chest tightness, etc; haven't felt any of those recently. This week I've been getting acid reflux pretty bad (past 2 days havent been as bad), and since Friday sometimes when I eat I'll get this weird pressure in my head. It happened after I drank an ensure, and after eating pasta/whole wheat bread. Thinking it might be something with gluten but I haven't ever had problems with gluten before
 
Today and last night I have gotten a strange new symptom, not sure if it is the anxiety/hypochondria. Its as if my nerves are firing and my hands/feet/legs/back will have random sensations, the most often being a cold feeling. Anybody else experience this?

I don't drink alcohol or caffeine and I stopped using MDMA after a year or more of weekly/biweekly use 3 months ago.

I used to experience this all the time - didn't realize it might have been related to my LTC until I read your post.

I had forgotten about it as well because it hasn't occurred in several years, but again, I remember it well now that I've been reminded.

Very uncomfortable feeling, especially during the winter.

Edit - It did go away after I recovered (for what it's worth).

Edit Again - I recall that it used to present itself most frequently when I was experiencing high levels of stress and anxiety, and also that the consumption of stimulants such as caffeinated drinks made it worse (more intense). Not sure if this is similar to you?
 
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Hi bluelighters!

14 months longterm comedown, fucking hell!!!!!

Symptoms: derealization, depression, anxiety, dizziness, social anxiety, cognitive difficulties etc...


In the last 2 months I had 2 separate periods of 1 week aprox where I felt almost fully recovered, but I always fall back in to this shit.

Can you relate to this? What about you ro4eva, did you experienced those periods of time during your recovery where you felt almost healed for a full week and then suddenly had a setback?


Also, every night, I always feel like 90%, with minimum symptoms but then I wake up next morning feeling like shit away, it's a never ending cycle. Can anybody with a LTC relate to this cycle? Everyday around 6pm, I improve a lot but then I wake up every morning dizzy, with derealization, and anxiety again, almost like vertigo's symptoms.

Just to finish with, when I look into the mirror, I cannot connect with my eyes, like if my staring was spaced out, empty, I look dizzy and disoriented.

When I felt almost recovered for those 2 weeks, my eyes had a better look and I didn't look that spaced out when looking into the mirror.

Can you relate to this?

Please help!
 
Hey man. Just to get a feel for your situation; have you tried any med? By this I mean ssri's not benzo's. The thing about feeling worse in the morning and sometimes feeling fully recovered is something I've heard from more people; you're not alone in this. If you haven't tried meds, maybe 14 months of suffering is a good enough reason to try. Some people report good results. Also, if you haven't seen a psychologist, you should do that before starting meds. Best of luck.
 
Hi bluelighters!
Just to finish with, when I look into the mirror, I cannot connect with my eyes, like if my staring was spaced out, empty, I look dizzy and disoriented.

What does this mean exactly? For the first 3 months I didn't "recognize" myself in the mirror. I could see my face perfectly fine, but it didn't feel like me. Is that what you mean? Or do you mean that your eyes look physically different.
 
Hi Imabicycle, I was on Cipralex (Lexapro) for about 6 months with no effect on me, no improvement. Can you tell me few cases and exemples from people going threw this shit and sometimes feeling fully recovered for a few days and then having a setback? Names? i would love to contact them.

How you doing, what were your symptoms and have you recovered or improved in the last few months?

Hi Scaredfirsttimer, I can see my face perfectly fine but my eyes look empty, spaced out like staring at the space.

What were your symptoms Scaredfirsttimer, how long have you been fighting? Have you recovered or improved?

Thank you guys!
 
That whole two-steps-forward-one-stwp back is just life in general man. Nothing to be worried about, we all have this. In SSRI/Benzo withdrawal they call them 'windows'. They should become longer and more frequent with time.

Also please understand that you are now vulnerable to LTC symptoms probably for a long time (until this truly becomes a thing of the past) so take it easy and don't underestimate any outside stressors that may trigger these symptoms again.

Imabicycle have you started the escitalopram yet?
 
Tnx for asking my friend. Imma start next thursday. Have to give a presentation first and get a gastroscopy figured it would be best to wait till after that. How are you doing? Still improving? Its my bd btw guys :D. I honestly cant wait to start its so hard to have to wait with those pills lying around. Now that i have decided to go this route I wanne get it over with you know.
 
Hi Imabicycle, I was on Cipralex (Lexapro) for about 6 months with no effect on me, no improvement. Can you tell me few cases and exemples from people going threw this shit and sometimes feeling fully recovered for a few days and then having a setback? Names? i would love to contact them.

How you doing, what were your symptoms and have you recovered or improved in the last few months?

Hi Scaredfirsttimer, I can see my face perfectly fine but my eyes look empty, spaced out like staring at the space.

What were your symptoms Scaredfirsttimer, how long have you been fighting? Have you recovered or improved?

Thank you guys!

tbh I can't really think of the names but I heard it from a lot of people. Some of those all ready left bl cause they're better I think. What is your anxiety like? Do you have a lot of physical (anxiety/panic) symptoms, or is it mostly mental? I'm starting lexapro myself soon. Hopefully it'll do me more good. I have not improved at all no but like I said I'm gonne try some medication now. My symptoms are extreme physical symptoms, permanent adrenaline rush, chronic muscle tension, chronic hyperventilation, constant dizzyness, seeing double, and all the lesser stuff like difficulty swallowing, muscle twitching etc etc. So its like a chronic panic attack for me. 6 months in now. I heard sometimes people benefit from switching ssri's maybe you can try a different one. Are you seeing a psychologist?
 
Tnx for asking my friend. Imma start next thursday. Have to give a presentation first and get a gastroscopy figured it would be best to wait till after that. How are you doing? Still improving? Its my bd btw guys :D. I honestly cant wait to start its so hard to have to wait with those pills lying around. Now that i have decided to go this route I wanne get it over with you know.

Happy birthday man! Yeah I had some great days (not today though I had some stuff happen). My fatigue is also going away finally it seems. Overall life just has gotten so much easier.
 
Happy birthday man! Yeah I had some great days (not today though I had some stuff happen). My fatigue is also going away finally it seems. Overall life just has gotten so much easier.
Its cause of you I decided to try these things. Our ltc's are kinda similar. Were really the only once who really had it happen like this (you know how I mean). Along with Ro4eva. And both of you benefited from ssri's so I feel quite confident (well not really but thats ltc). If it works I'll be thankful man. Good luck. If you've all ready progressed this far, maybe in half a year you'll be all right? I'm really glad for you man.
 
Its cause of you I decided to try these things. Our ltc's are kinda similar. Were really the only once who really had it happen like this (you know how I mean). Along with Ro4eva. And both of you benefited from ssri's so I feel quite confident (well not really but thats ltc). If it works I'll be thankful man. Good luck. If you've all ready progressed this far, maybe in half a year you'll be all right? I'm really glad for you man.

Lets hope so. I've accepted that its probably gonna take a bit longer though since I have some deeper issues that need work. But meds+psychotherapy coupled with deep breathing exercises and cycling have been doing me good. I hope you find your way soon. And again dont underestimate the startup but know that itll definitely pass.
 
Am I allowed to inquire as to the nature of these deeper issues, or is that too personal? Or could you pm them? Interested in if I maybe have similar complication. Cheers have a nice day
 
Hi bluelighters!

14 months longterm comedown, fucking hell!!!!!

Symptoms: derealization, depression, anxiety, dizziness, social anxiety, cognitive difficulties etc...


In the last 2 months I had 2 separate periods of 1 week aprox where I felt almost fully recovered, but I always fall back in to this shit.

Can you relate to this? What about you ro4eva, did you experienced those periods of time during your recovery where you felt almost healed for a full week and then suddenly had a setback?


Also, every night, I always feel like 90%, with minimum symptoms but then I wake up next morning feeling like shit away, it's a never ending cycle. Can anybody with a LTC relate to this cycle? Everyday around 6pm, I improve a lot but then I wake up every morning dizzy, with derealization, and anxiety again, almost like vertigo's symptoms.

Just to finish with, when I look into the mirror, I cannot connect with my eyes, like if my staring was spaced out, empty, I look dizzy and disoriented.

When I felt almost recovered for those 2 weeks, my eyes had a better look and I didn't look that spaced out when looking into the mirror.

Can you relate to this?

Please help!


dude! Everything you say here. I still go through this. Wake up in the morning, its like it takes HOURS to wake up fully. Thats great your eyes are getting better. I would say thats a huge improvement. For a while, I have a weird tingling in my tongue 100% of the time. I now only get that randomly like once every few days now and it last for only a few minuets. So I would say thats a sign of improvement big time. Does it actually make me FEEL better? Not really, but I know things are changing. my vision is still weird, I even have static or visual snow, I wish it would go away. Its been consistent for the past 19 months for me.
 
Well it turns out I have had OCD my entire life I just didn't know it.

Ye coder I wonder too. Everyone with an ltc gets some for of ocd. Its inherent to hit. How can your psychiatrist tell if you've had it your entire life? Not doubting you, just interested. In retrospect, I don't think I have had it my entire life. So thats a good thing for me I guess.
 
Hi guys,

I've been doing extraordinary well for the past month and half. I'm actually going strong on 13 months in counting...I would say I'm 80% there. I've actually had a great month of October until this past week...

I've got this extremely strange new symptom that I haven't experienced before. Everyday I'm waking up and after 2 hours I start to become extremely mentally fatigued. I mean to the point where I can't function correctly. This literally goes on all day and tends to reside slightly (not fully) at night. I've been eating extremely healthy and getting enough sleep... I was doing so well these past couple of months but now I'm scared.

Can an anyone relate?

Thanks
 
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