Creating Positive Change vs. If Nothing Changes Then Nothing Changes..

Send out resumes for Saturday sunday part time job
try calling the schoolboard for my certificates!!
Spend time with granma again
buy baby shower gift for my ex coworker
get a referral from family doctor for eye appointment.
 
Clean my house
Finish putting all my ex's stuff into boxes to get them out of sight til she can get them
Redecorate my house
Finish redoing my ceiling in the living room
Fix roof leaks (seriously!)
Clean garage
Start going to the market to sell art again
Keep living it up this summer
Buy ticket to 4-day music festival
 
continue to Hit gym 5 days a week for ever
Finish the book I'm working on
catch up on a bill
Journal eating and maintain a caloric deficit
quit tobacco, AGAIN.
Immaculate health and eating
40 minutes regenerative meditation per day
acquire four books on the two subjects and read them .
pick out new glasses
wash rig
get laid
remove stump
begin clearing invasive bullshit
design and build herbicide application tool
take picture and post all the stuff on craigslist
collect money from stuff and buy a Palace and private island.
Call lawyer about plan
weed all the garden beds fuck that shit
return vids
finish practical genetics book
plan and cook dinner
take pictures
fert tomatoes
bonfire tonight
catch huge catfish
clean up house.. rooms and and bath.
 
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continue to Hit gym 5 days a week for ever
two hours project 1, two hours project two, two hours project 3, one hour project 4 per day
Finish the book I'm working on
catch up on a bill
Journal eating and maintain a caloric deficit
quit tobacco, AGAIN.
Immaculate health and eating
40 minutes regenerative meditation per day
acquire four books on the two subjects and read them .
pick out new glasses
wash rig
remove stump
begin clearing invasive bullshit
design and build herbicide application tool
take picture and post all the stuff on craigslist
collect money from stuff and buy a Palace and private island.
Call lawyer about plan
call other lawyer
take pictures
read three books
file papers
prepare for meeting
get records faxed
and bath.
 
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After a period of 2 days feeling weird and anxious and depressed, I bounced back today, and I feel really good about the day. :) I worked out, got a lot done at work, then pulled/dug kudzu out of my yard for 2 hours (6 hours spent on this in total, about 1/3 of it to go - I hate kudzu!), and then went grocery shopping and made most of my food for the next 2 days. And finally, cleaned my kitchen! Now it's time for some well-deserved episodes of "Always Sunny in Philadelphia" before I hit the bed and get a good night's sleep.
 
Xorkoth; a man discovered a fungus that eats kudzu and he's getting rich off it.

Thought you might like to know that. %) having grown up in the south, I know all too well how kudzu is taking over the environment.
 
Well now that's nice! I gotta get me some of that.
 
I am still falling behind on savin up so I have to put it back on but the main priority is to pay of my debt before the end of this year.
 
continue to Hit gym 5 days a week for ever
two hours project 1, two hours project two, two hours project 3, one hour project 4 per day
Finish the book I'm working on
catch up on a bill
Journal eating and maintain a caloric deficit
quit tobacco, AGAIN.
Immaculate health and eating
40 minutes regenerative meditation per day
and read them .
pick out new glasses
remove stump
begin clearing invasive bullshit
design and build herbicide application tool
take picture and post all the stuff on craigslist
collect money from stuff and buy a Palace and private island.
take pictures
read three books
file papers
prepare for meeting
renew books
make call
go to be early so rested for meeting
wrap and load lounge
call man about value and estimated charges
look up addresses
take online course
locate missing accounts
fill out nonsense
check for return correspondence
drop off paperwork
Look for financial proof
 
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continue to Hit gym 5 days a week for ever
two hours project 3, one hour project 4 per day
Finish the book I'm working on
catch up on a bill
Journal eating and maintain a caloric deficit
quit tobacco, AGAIN.
Immaculate health and eating
40 minutes regenerative meditation per day
and read them .
pick out new glasses
remove stump
begin clearing invasive bullshit
design and build herbicide application tool
take picture and post all the stuff on craigslist
collect money from stuff and buy a Palace and private island.
take pictures
read three books
renew books
make call
look up addresses
locate missing accounts
fill out nonsense
check for return correspondence
drop off paperwork
Look for financial proof
wash rig
call and see if she received the stuff
call about license
get payment off to her
renew passport
enjoy labor day weekend.=D
 
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I found tonight. within myself.. I am stronger than killing myself.. as much as it had crossed my mind daily, monthly, weekly. The repercusions on my family, my brothers and sisters, the pain that they would have to endure. I found, I could never do that to them, as much as I would like to. Anyway I think everyday is great, a gift even, when im sat working a 9-5 taking the ultimate bullshit from people, everday is just <3, the little moments.. and the bigger ones. Hugs everyone <3. fuck. I sit here smiling from ear to eat, for what? Nothing really hah a simple joke maybe, a memory of when me and my friends had good times, the past tiny moments, sorry I cant putit into words its basically *&^&^^^&)^)

Have fun everyone, and enjor yourself. <3

Ive never had a girlfriend, and never will, ever, but I fucking love the moment as I talk through thousand of pounds of debt, we only live once right?
 
Learning how to shut my mind off when I get home from work. I am almost gettin there :D
 
Focus. Focus. Focus.
Focus on my kids, my fiancé, my job and my life in general.

I have been opiate free for a month and a half? I lost count... Sometimes for me it's easier to not remember. But I still have my ups and downs. Mainly ups.

I plan to work til I'm debt free. Maybe search for a better paying job in the mean time that is closer to home.

Just live each day as it comes. I have no real cravings for opiates. Could care less about them anymore.

I would like to start lifting/exercising but it's hard with 4 kids and a full time job. Need to make time though.

I just hope everyone else is doing well. Keep on keepin on. Life's a garden, dig it. ;)
 
^I am failing on that right now. The part-time work I applied for didnt call me back but last time I went in they said that after my paperwork and references has been dealt with they will call me again for a schedule. I guess they realized the store is not that busy to hire another person..
 
continue to Hit gym 5 days a week for ever
two hours project 3, one hour project 4 per day
Finish the book I'm working on
catch up on a bill
Journal eating and maintain a caloric deficit
quit tobacco, AGAIN.
Immaculate health and eating
40 minutes regenerative meditation per day
and read them
pick out new glasses
remove stump
begin clearing invasive bullshit
collect money from stuff and buy a Palace and private island.
read three books
renew books
Look for financial proof
wash rig
dentist appointment
call about license
get payment off to her
renew passport
call lawyer
clean hot tub
bring all piles to dump
research university
call about hindrance to D license
research housing
get a good nights sleep
appointment at two
wrap present
 
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Do house/bedroom cleaning/organizing in between one of the busiest work days ever, so girl coming over tomorrow won't be like, damn this is messy.

That's my list for right now.
 
I have started to put away money every month to my savings account at last. Im gonna try to put away twice a month depending on how my debt works out before the end of the year
 
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