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Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 6.0

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glitter_kiss said:
I wish i culd stay clean. i need to stop but alchahol is always around, i just just got one my luckliest breaks yet, i got got picked up for drunk in public, and they had just moved me to the chronic list up here, but it was the usual judge so i got off light . instead of 60 days i got reased after just 3 days. Its times like this i wish i could quit.
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You can quit! Never tell yourself you cannot. I personally cannot quit on my own, but through a combination of NA (which I enjoy, others might not), therapy and healthy living I can get there.

Alcohol is always going to be around, I just have very much accepted that at least just for today I cannot use. I pray that I will feel the same way tommorrow. So far its been working for me.

I keep repeating this, but I feel more steady today at 30 days then I did at 8 months. Why? I am not sure. Only explanation I can give is that I am just done. I cannot fight it anymore. Surrender actually feels pretty good.
 
sometimes i just feel so hopelssb all i wanted was beer this morning, but i hate pan handling so istead of doing the smart thing a keeping sober, im now sitting on a 1/2. I realy hope i can at least keep from going to jail
 
My alcoholism is taking a move for the worse. I've now succumbed to feeding someone else's habit including my own. To put it into better perspective this has been my routine now for quite some time.

1. Wake up
2. Do some work (I work from home so sometimes I work or I don't)
3. It's the afternoon - let's drink. (I know of no one else who drinks like me but one old friend who is unemployed. So I usually buy us a case of beer and a pack of cigarettes to share - This happens 3 / 5 days a week. This is now starting to shit me as I am essentially giving him $50 - $80 a week for free and he never pays it back. No biggie though.)

I know how badly I need to quit and get my life back into order but every time it hits the afternoon, it's like I need to be some where I know I am not meant to be but some what can't control myself to be where I am meant to be.
 
noonoo said:
1. Wake up
2. Do some work (I work from home so sometimes I work or I don't)
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::Raises hand::

I did. Now, for a long time I could keep it till after work. But it kept creeping more and more into the afternoon. When I started to take night classes or work later hours I would have to sneak off to have a shot of booze. Not enough to get me drunk, but I was trying to quell my body and mind which was constantly screaming for booze and alcohol. This might have made me comfortable for about 15 minutes and then I just wanted more and more. It really fucking sucked and I was so ashamed of myself.

So glad I do not have to do that anymore.

Anyways, I need to be careful of this thread (no offense to anyone). If people want to talk recovery feel free to PM me. I might not be posting on this thread as often but I am still reading it.
 
Speaking from my own experience I have tried controlled drinking soooo many times I cant even count. Everytime I do, I don't enjoy it and it progessively gets a little bit more to where I'm drinking in the morning just to get my head straight. For me, its either all or nothing. And the worst part about it is that I can always find a reason. Weekend/holiday/early day from work/sunny/rainy days...I just wish my mind didn't go into an "auto pilot" mode everytime I have a reason...That's a bitch.
Glitter my thoughs are with you as well as you "you angry bastard" in Maui. LOL!
Phactor I don't blame you man. Sometimes some of this shit is kind of a trigger for me too dude.
Take care ppl.
 
Reading a couple of journal articles just now and it would seem I am doomed to a life of "chronic relapsing dependence" (age of alcohoil dependence <~25 years etc etc)

I also hatge to say it but I notice on here how many people relapse ALL the time - myself included. i think the longest I have ever been sober from alcohol for is about 5 months in the last 15 years, and Im only 28.

Is it possible to ave a happy healthy successful life (ie stable relationships, successful professional career) with chronic alcoholism? I strongly think it is highly unlikely and I may as well just accept I have ruined my life with this and it will just get worse.

Suicide here I come.
 
Crampz said:
Reading a couple of journal articles just now and it would seem I am doomed to a life of "chronic relapsing dependence" (age of alcohoil dependence <~25 years etc etc)

I also hatge to say it but I notice on here how many people relapse ALL the time - myself included. i think the longest I have ever been sober from alcohol for is about 5 months in the last 15 years, and Im only 28.


Is it possible to ave a happy healthy successful life (ie stable relationships, successful professional career) with chronic alcoholism? I strongly think it is highly unlikely and I may as well just accept I have ruined my life with this and it will just get worse.

Suicide here I come.
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Suicide?! WTF man!!? 5 months is alot longer than me and probablly for a few people on this thread. Do you relapse hard? I personally have gotten tired of trying to convince myself that magically I will never drink again. So I basically try to keep my relapses reasonable, safe and try to learn from my previous mistakes. I like alcohol, eventhough it hates me. If you keep relapsing, IMO it's not the end of the world. I highly doubt that anybody, anywhere has made a decision to quit and it stuck the first time. Try not to make up for the time of being sober when you have a relapse. Alcohol will always be there, you don't have to get shitfaced everytime you drink man. I know it's easier said than done but that's the only advice I can offer from my perspective. "doomed to chonic relapsing dependence"...unless you find a "higher power" LOL! Sounds like that bs... You drink if you want to drink and you don't if you don't. Simple.The fact that you are able to quit for 5 months speaks volumes.
Suicide dude?! Common...
Later.
 
I haven't drank in 30 months but last week I fell off a 16' latter and got put on painkillers . I stopped 6 days into it when I realized I was abusing them. I know I sound a little anxious cause I have bad anxiety.
 
30 pack and 16' ladders!? Whaa? How's your back?That's why I don't drink and drive...I keep spilling my drink!!...Kidding... It's a good that you recognized a problem scripts are horrible especially if you are trying to abstain. I have anxiety also and found myself abusing Klonipin really bad especially when I was drinking. Had to cut that shit out...Klonipin that is.
Get better.
 
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Compulsion to drink in the evenings has been lifted for me at the moment. I had two beers because they were in the fridge but I would have been just as happy had they been cans of orangina.
 
sirnatural said:
I haven't drank in 30 months but last week I fell off a 16' latter and got put on painkillers . I stopped 6 days into it when I realized I was abusing them. I know I sound a little anxious cause I have bad anxiety.
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Respect where it's due.

*doffs cap
 
I'm giving the no boozing a go again, have a lot of work I need to be working on and which I have been neglecting. Am also fed up of being the biggest drinker in my group of friends and drinking alone or shouting people booze just so I don't drink alone.

I managed to get some valium off a friend to deal with cravings late at night, when I really crave booze.

Let's see how this pans out...
 
sirnatural said:
I haven't drank in 30 months but last week I fell off a 16' latter and got put on painkillers . I stopped 6 days into it when I realized I was abusing them. I know I sound a little anxious cause I have bad anxiety.
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That's not a bad thing. You had to stop since you realized you were, or could be abusing your medication.
 
I keep making excuses for not going to detox

Now it's once the World Cup is over the it will be after the World Series lol

I've come to a point where I won't eat anything all day and started to Iv opiates again sigh
 
Oi, Oi! Not posted on here for a while! Basically the last 2 months have been killer in terms of depression and my drinking. Ended up in hospital twice due to a combination of the two. Also had to get an extension on my final two pieces of University work. Luckily the head of administration is a total legend and said she will even try to argue my case for better grades, should they come back at a level significantly different to my "sober" work.

Been attending alcohol service in my area which gives you a one to one with a counsellor each week, or more if i choose to. I've still been having the odd binge here and there but i'm getting better at controlling not drinking at home, because in all honesty I can drink socially as there is that social acceptable level which i pretty much adhere to, it's just at home that social acceptable level is not there so i drink and drink.

I'm going back to work this summer for 40 hours a week which should reduce the amount of time im at home and able to drink, plus i'll probably want to make the most of my free time too instead of staying in drinking or being hungover. There is far too much free time at university, well at least on my degree course. The devil makes work for idle hands you know!

Only gripe i got is that my mum has insisted i try anti-depressants in combination with my second set of cbt which starts in July. I said I'd give them a whirl, and hopefully they may give me that extra incentive to not drink due to possible interactions. But i guess that worry is suitable for a different thread.
 
^^^^ Never telling ppl what to/not to do but one time Zyprexa and alcohol really fucked me up. I felt like I drank a gallon after a few beers.
The funny thing is that it has never happened prior to that!!! Just out of the blue...BAM!!! And I was fucking stumbling...so be carefull with that.
 
...been trying to taper. The only good way is to buy alcohol that tastes a little left of my regular enjoyables. I still feel that I am making progress though.
 
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