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You might be a tweaker if...

You might be a tweaker if you've scrolled your phone contacts for two hours only to realize it is NOT Facebook.
 
You might be a tweaker if...

(1) You've been sitting on the computer for a little bit and look at the clock and realize three days have passed and when you finally pass out, you wake up and realize you exhausted your whole supply that was supposed to last a week, but now you are too anxious to leave your house to cop more. Every time you say you will leave some aside to be able to keep your supply going, but just like one more chip, ten more minutes on the computer, it never works.

(2) Half of the things you own are from other tweakers, many of these things are completely bizarre like gnome statues, clothes you would never wear, and of course, somehow you have electronic devices that were only obscurely created in Kazakhstan in the 1980s, and probably are worth a fortune to some collector somewhere.

(3) You lie automatically and find yourself taking things that are not yours, then trading said things to other tweakers for shard only to create a circle in which all the tweakers are lying and ripping each other off, to eventually end up trading their own shard for something that was originally theirs, thus the circle is complete. As for the lies, just as you lie automatically, you believe other tweakers automatically, even though you don't believe them, you no longer can separate who is lying to who is telling the truth, and thus think someone is great one day, scum the next, the same you think of yourself.

(4) You've spent two hours getting ready to go to a friend's house, only to find yourself re-organizing your sock drawer the whole time in ways that are increasingly, paradoxically, less usefully organized till you have to re-do it again later, anyway.

(5) You spend an hour slowly touching yourself while looking for that correct porn scene, only to then find it and then get distracted by this forum and spend the next hour half-naked, awkwardly half touching yourself and half replying to this thread, with the porn waiting for you in a tab.

(6) You've looked in the mirror repeatedly and thought you looked completely ugly and frantically washed your face and tidied yourself over and over, only to later realize you look exactly the same afterwards when you suddenly switch and think you look amazing.

(7) You have spent a ridiculous amount of time in a hotel room peering through the key hole, going to your bed and thinking, pearing out behind the curtains, then going for a walk with a hood up constantly looking over your shoulder till a cop car does pull past, to which your way of seeming inconspicuous is to act as sketchy as fuck in a way of seeming anonymous, only to then actually draw attention to yourself and thus convince yourself you were being monitored all along.

(8) You realize your closest friend who is smoking with you is actually a top-level secret CIA operative who has been plotting against you this entire time, solely because he made a joke that he once worked for the government, which lead you to spend the next few days un-covering this massive conspiracy in your own mind, where since childhood, you've been groomed by extra-terrestrial reptilians who have infiltrated the CIA and have manipulated you away from the 7th Crystal Realm using their inter-dimensional six beams of chaos energy to make you suffer, and it is your destiny to prove this to every person you meet now to prevent Armageddon, oh, and you are Jesus and Satan at the same time, while also being a cybernetic robot from Mars who is traveling backwards through time to warn a future copy of yourself of the imminent threat to the Natural Order of Sapphire Symmetry.

(9) You spend half your high talking to yourself about how you want a different life and how it doesn't do anything for you anymore, only to sober up and desperately crave the experience and long for it like the Holy Grail.

(10) All your friends have somehow become tweakers, and you are unsure if they are your friends, dealers, customers, victims, enemies, undercover cops, or inter-dimensional aliens.
 
If you know there's a shard of crystal somewhere in that carpet, you just know it!
 
You might be a tweaker if you're driving around looking for a place to smoke and end up at your old drug abuse program at 3am because you know they have a secluded deck and there aren't any lights around.

You might be a tweaker if you left a party to go smoke, planning to return in fifteen minutes, but you end up driving the rest of the night looking for more places to get high, and by the time you want to go back to the party it's been over for 4 hours.
 
You might be a tweaker if you went from a pack a day to three in only a week's time.
 
You wear the same shirts/pants/shoes for two years.

You don't necessarily smell like "ass cheese" but you reek of sweat, when you walk into the gas station for a pack of smokes.

You take a small blast and realize you need to fix your life, if you take one more blast you will be so high, you will be jerking off for the next 8 hours.
 
yadida7570 said:
Kinda sounds like a stoner move, actually.
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Lol. It does, I had to say it though cause my friend was on one big time and needed somewhere to chill and thats what he did, i thought he was playing a game on his phone or some shit so after a couple hours I just hear him go "oh, shit... This isn't facebook.."
 
Bojangleston said:
Lol. It does, I had to say it though cause my friend was on one big time and needed somewhere to chill and thats what he did, i thought he was playing a game on his phone or some shit so after a couple hours I just hear him go "oh, shit... This isn't facebook.."
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That's funny^

You might be a tweeker if your blowin lines all night then say "wait, where are we?"
(Happened to my friend. She and a couple others were doin coke, at my house, where she's been a million times before. We were going out to smoke and as we hit the door she turns and says that to me. I was like...huh...then she looks around and said "o yeah" pff crazy beezy
 
U mite be a tweeker if u attempt to melt the stem to ur bauble and 2 hours later you relise your doing it wrong.

Or

U bleach/microwave your bowl and for some reason you forgot that shit was hot as fuck.


One of my boss's does a pupil check everymorning.
 
D's said:
U mite be a tweeker if u attempt to melt the stem to ur bauble and 2 hours later you relise your doing it wrong.

Or

U bleach/microwave your bowl and for some reason you forgot that shit was hot as fuck.


One of my boss's does a pupil check everymorning.
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What the fuc....why? That's bullshit.
 
ohshea said:
...you own an entire shopping basket full off paint pens
...you have painted and moved out of you house during the hours of ten pm and 9 am
...you have no eyebrows left
...you have washed all your bedding 3x in one week
...you spend more time in the bathroom than any room in your house
...youve locked yourself in the bathroom at least once with your gun because you swear you heard someone starting to climb up the side of your house on a ladder
...you enjoy the feeling of your asshole burning
...everything in your room is labeled, organized and cleaned 10x over
...you enjoy cleaning other peoples houses
...you own buckets of random broken electronics
...everything you own is drawn on with sharpie paint pens including your wheel center caps and steering wheel
...you spend all your time driving looking in the rear view mirror
...all your clothes are baggy
..youve named you favorite pair of tweezers
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Omg, this is me. :)
 
silvercrimson said:
If you find yourself in Walmart for about 2 to 3 hours
at about 2:00 or so in the morning possibly breaking
a little sweat when it's about 60° in the fucking store
not to mention the past 8 hours that it actually took you
to get out the fucking door to get there
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OH MY GOD!! this is so incredibly spot on Hilarious!!! I'm literally rolling out of my bed laughing my fucking ass off!!
Thank you!
 
You might be a tweaker if...
-you live with squares (parents, other half, kids, fam, roomates) and frequent the bathroom as if it were your bedroom accidentally nod and wake up to someone banging on the door then scramble to put all your shit away, try to look half decent while thinking of an excuse and quickly exit. overtime this leads to eviction or in special cases a no closed/locked doors policy in your house lol
-the first experience someone is subject to when entering your (drug friendly) home is the over whelming smell of cigarettes, lysol, incense(or sage), and the occasional fabreeze because were expecting company
-you have dismembered metal frame glasses to bend and sand into a scraper
-you have magic erasers for chilling purposes not taking crayon off the wall
-you frequent hardware stores for map gas and own a bernzomatic tip
-you max your cap for acetone at your local pharmacy/drugstore
-you take hours in any store you enter and only leave with cigarettes, candy, a drink, art supplies, first aid supplies, dollar travel toiletries, hair color, sunglasses, a bathing suit, rubber gloves, shoes, clothes, all of which is stolen in a duffle/backpack and you either buy the cigarettes or drink or just walk out cause you had no money to start lol (this mainly happens at liquor stores, gas stations, and walmart)
-you call squares at 3am and get upset if they dont answer or answer upset about the time because you were unaware lol
the list is endless if youre a tweaker you know it lol


-

 
You sizzle your eyebrows off getting the collection of recrystallized hits that builds in the stem after you've cleaned out the bulb at the end.

Fuck it, they grow back anyways.
 
Don't know if this has been said yet. When you're convinced that your cat gave you tapeworm because you swear you saw larvae on your toilet paper and so you spend 6 or more hours straight disinfecting your whole house including spraying your dirty dishes with antibacterial cleaner spray. I'm guilty of this lmao
 
hangyourhead said:
You sizzle your eyebrows off getting the collection of recrystallized hits that builds in the stem after you've cleaned out the bulb at the end.

Fuck it, they grow back anyways.
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I don't smoke it (anymore) but I remember how pointless that always was when I did...you usually had built your amp tolerance up so high that the paltry amount of resin built up in the stem didn't even hit the spot at all.

If you hadn't smoked tweak in a while the stem resin would probably get you high, but usually if you were vaping that you had just run out and were desperately getting every last little bit you could
 
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