I've taken care of you for the last 7 months. I fed you 3 meals a day, washed your laundry in my sink because neither of us had a washing machine, carried buckets of water from my house to yours when your water stopped working so that you could flush your toilet. I washed your dishes and picked up your messes and cleaned your bathroom when it got extra gross. You never appreciated any of it. When you answered her booty call while I was sitting next to you in your bed, and told me I had to leave because you were going to have "company", I didn't say a word, I just walked home and sat in my car and cried. And when you texted me in the morning, less than a minute after she left, with "cereal?" I forced myself out of bed, poured you a bowl of frosted mini wheats (which I hate btw, I only buy them because they are your favorite) and brought you your breakfast. And the smile on my face when I said good morning was genuine, because when I am looking at you, nothing else even exists. You wouldn't know that though, because you never looked at me once as i walked into your room and delivered you breakfast, tummy scratches, and a lazy morning quickie.
No one understands why I put up with your bullshit. You don't even understand why. I gave you everything I had to give and you took me for granted and it wasn't until I started staying out for 2 or 3 nights in a row that you even realized how much I did for you. I thought then that maybe you were finally starting to appreciate me, but you never came home that day. Instead I fell asleep waiting for you on your couch where I was when you told me you'd be right back, and got woken up by someone yelling outside that you were in jail. And what did I do? I immediately started packing up all of your things and moving them to a place where they would be safe, because I remembered when you told me months ago that when you went to jail before you lost almost everything. I've moved all of it, I've done everything I can to try to get your car out of impound, I've talked with your dad, and dealt with the drama that comes from she who must not be named. I put money on your books so you'd be able to eat and get a calling card and ordered you magazines so you'd have something to read. A week before I was supposed to be moving out myself, and instead of finding a new place to live I'm using every drop of gas in my car to visit you just to tell you not to worry about your stuff, I managed to save it all.
You sat there and cried and told me you were sorry for treating me like shit and you appreciate me and you miss me so much, you realize now how much I do for you and you'll never treat me that way again. I told you not to worry about any of that, to worry about taking care of yourself so you can come home, but in my head I was telling you to say it again when you're out and then maybe I'll believe you.
And then today I spend my memorial day waiting in blistering heat for hours just to see you for 30 minutes through dirty glass, and no matter how hard I tried to talk about positive things you only wanted to talk about how shitty everything is, how you're screwed for life and you'll never be able to be free of the bullshit.
Well, you better try real fucking hard when they let you out, because I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant.