[Methoxetamine Subthread] Addiction

[Vaya]

Well once a week wasn't my problem. My issue was I felt so profoundly disinhibited and relieved of long standing depression and other issues that I felt I'd found a miracle drug. I didn't use very high doses (maybe 20-30mg insufflated at a time), but I used them several times a day to keep the 'buzz.' Over a few weeks though, my purpose in life became less directed towards achieving my goals, and more towards taking more MXE. And it snuck up on me so slowly that I didn't even realize it until I just noticed I couldn't think straight, I felt terrible without it, and that all the original positive emotions I had when I started using it were gone.

Perfectly conveyed. This is precisely how it begun for me as well. I wasn't always doing 200-220mg doses for 14-16 hours straight every day :/
I wish there existed a body of literature already detailing Methoxetamine's pharmacological profile and its established potential dangers, if any. But we who choose to imbibe otherwise-unexplored psychoactive chemicals, also choose to be the guinea pigs in a grander experiment.
I have faith I can get better. Or maybe I'm putting on a brave face. Either way, only time will tell, so I may as well stop making the worst-case scenario a reality before it's happened yet

~ vaya

 

[NotQuiteThere]

Perfectly conveyed. This is precisely how it begun for me as well. I wasn't always doing 200-220mg doses for 14-16 hours straight every day :/
I wish there existed a body of literature already detailing Methoxetamine's pharmacological profile and its established potential dangers, if any. But we who choose to imbibe otherwise-unexplored psychoactive chemicals, also choose to be the guinea pigs in a grander experiment.

Bingo. Nobody starts out doing high doses regularly. I trust you can get better too, with these research chemicals it's often easier to rationalize excessive use since the negative effects haven't been as documented as they have with more common drugs. If you're shooting h all the time you know it's a bad idea, with something like this you can say "well gee nobody said it's that harmful, it's probably not."

Anyway I think the moral goes beyond personal use though. I've been studying neurology and pharmacology at my university. I think this is an extremely interesting and potentially useful substance. I would personally hate to be part of the rationale for banning it. When we misuse research chemicals, we're not just damaging ourselves, we're damaging people who may have more self control, more observation from doctors, or greater constraints placed on their potentially legitimate use. When anyone goes and abuses a new drug, that gives our very puritanical government a good reason to ban its use, heavily limiting research into its therapeutic potential. Witnessing the truly positive and long lasting effect (at least for the past two months) this medicine has had on my friends at limited, controlled dosages, I would hate to see it be classified as schedule 1 because of people like myself misusing it.

 

[whoseanb]

Thanks to you all for sharing your stories. I plan on getting some mxe very soon and will take heed to everything said.

 

[Vaya]

When we misuse research chemicals, we're not just damaging ourselves, we're damaging people who may have more self control, more observation from doctors, or greater constraints placed on their potentially legitimate use. When anyone goes and abuses a new drug, that gives our very puritanical government a good reason to ban its use, heavily limiting research into its therapeutic potential. Witnessing the truly positive and long lasting effect (at least for the past two months) this medicine has had on my friends at limited, controlled dosages, I would hate to see it be classified as schedule 1 because of people like myself misusing it.

Well put, and it is my hope that my message won't be construed as legitimizing any type of federal action against it. No matter how addictive I found the material itself to be, it was ultimately I who translated thought into action. In the beginning, with responsible use, it was a fantastic, extraordinary substance to me. As far as methoxetamine is concerned... well, to introspect on that level really highlights the "research" in research chemical. Be wary of it getting too enjoyable, I suppose

This has been good for me to discuss it openly as well, as "MXE addiction" is such a vastly unique experience and not many people can relate to the obscure depths it may produce.

~ vaya

 

[Reverberation]

MXE addiction... a bitch for your nose especially with varying batches from vendors...

I've been doing a gram/2 weeks lateley topped off with beer... it creeps up on you, the afterglow is amazing... there's no comedown to speak off, the m-holes are getting repetitive tbh, depends on the music and on really high dosing nights my social functions stop... try explaining to your housemate what the hell that noise was in your room the other night for 6 nights in a row stumbling down your room trying to find the light switch which used to be on the other side and you can't find cos your vision is fucked and stuff is drooling down your noose.
Its an amazing substance for sure... but lets not place it on a pedestal, you enjoy, stick around being bewildereded, great OEV's, but in the end its just a chemical compound that happens to combine great with reggae and the doors...

Just my 2 §

 

[thoughtsUnThought]

When we misuse research chemicals, we're not just damaging ourselves, we're damaging people who may have more self control, more observation from doctors, or greater constraints placed on their potentially legitimate use. When anyone goes and abuses a new drug, that gives our very puritanical government a good reason to ban its use, heavily limiting research into its therapeutic potential.

Very good point there. The abuse stories become the archetypal images which 'the man' uses in a highly misconstrewed fashion to support tomorrows bans. I none the less respect and dig the fact that you guys are sharing your exps, for with enough circulation of cautionary (reppin the harm reduct, boyyy!) information, further abuse can be dettered and difracted. Like you guys said, there's a certain degree of casual-approach which comes with some substances abuse which is not specifically marked as a taboo by our society.

I feel its our duty here on BL to plant tomorrows seeds through circulating enlightening information amongst our elite panel of the wisest-minds in the hyper-verse we can beat the man by letting ur own insights, and our own struggles become compiled together here. We can exchange info about psychedelic-topics faster than Mr. Local newscaster can compile the same info, because of the community networking-hub effect. While mass media lies and horror stories certainly shock the system and lead to bans, I believe we can work quickly with these new chems to catalog the specifics before an exceeding number of 'horror stories' regarding the detriment of their abuse will surface in the media.

We have the opportunity to form an intillectual archetype of the mechanics of this chems abuse and addiction precautions before the media makes a straw-man monster out if the same info, is what I'm saying lol, just a lil stoned now. Little pieces of truth and well-intentioned insight go a long way when they ripple unto the community...and while there are many forums, this one is quite far reaching. And our info here will become refined through discussion and compilation, thus furthering our informational evolution when it is absorbed by another similar-focussed forum etc etc...tomorrows seeds in today's plots

Well put, and it is my hope that my message won't be construed as legitimizing any type of federal action against it. No matter how addictive I found the material itself to be, it was ultimately I who translated thought into action. In the beginning, with responsible use, it was a fantastic, extraordinary substance to me. As far as methoxetamine is concerned... well, to introspect on that level really highlights the "research" in research chemical. Be wary of it getting too enjoyable, I suppose

This has been good for me to discuss it openly as well, as "MXE addiction" is such a vastly unique experience and not many people can relate to the obscure depths it may produce.

~ vaya

Honestly you seem very articulate and coherent for having been through some rough shit. I have faith in your ability to recover fully and I hate to sound like a broken record, but honestly...Meditation may really help you guys recovering. Helps stabilize your vibrations, should work wonders for the peace of mind recovery necessary to become vibrant once more that and healthy eatin, you need to give your body good nutrients to recover, and you need to give your mind and emotions rest(meditation).

Thanks for the info guys,

Best of progressions,
-tUt

 

[Transcendence]

There's some good reflection in this thread. Maybe it should merged with the MXE addiction thread?

 

[InterzoneAgent]

I, too, experienced that addictive tendency to a shameless extent; this stuff got me worse than any opiate or opioid I've ever touched, and *far* and away worse than Ketamine, Cocaine or even Methamphetamine. I went through several ounces (4 1/2 if I recall correctly) of Methoxetamine in about five months...

~ vaya

Sorry to everyone's struggles with mxe, hope you get better soon

I can relate it to being in it's insidious way much more addicting than opioids or uppers too. But the thing that saved me from going completely overboard was that the dissociative effects completely stopped after gaining enough tolerance and the DRI-effects started to become too pronounced and annoying so i just had to stop using it (not very easy tho). I never liked the stimulating DRI-effects of it anyway, when quite a lot of people seem to find them pleasing and making them more "productive" etc. For example they never resembled the positive dopamine effects of amps for me. They just kept me up long time and me edgy/uncomfortable. But i still had to keep using it in hopes of returning to the mxe universe which was basicly better/fascinating than anything this world seemed to offer.

I wasn't also able to rise my dosage never above 200mg's at time, although i did some times redose compulsively so the overall dose in duration of that day was several hundred mg's. The reason for this was that i would totally black out, only to emerge from the hole with the lingering feeling that something very very weird had just happened but couldn't remeber any of it. I had this blacking out problem always with mxe, in the beginning i could remember the experiences quite well tho and it was only with too high doses.

My question to everyone who uses these huge dosages for long time is that do you get the dissociative effects noticeably still and don't black out when doing doses in hundereds of milligrams??

 

[Vaya]

Honestly you seem very articulate and coherent for having been through some rough shit.

Thanks... I can maintain levels of functioning that bear resemblance to my "normal" state for small stretches of time and with great concentration. I'm no longer having symptoms of pseudo-schizophrenia (terrifying experience) but am still at the mercy of neurological sluggishness that affects all areas of executive functioning.

Fuck; real-world example, it really just took it out of me to even come up the words and sentence structuring to convey the above expression. *sigh* one day at a time, one day at a time...

There's some good reflection in this thread. Maybe it should merged with the MXE addiction thread?

+1

My question to everyone who uses these huge dosages for long time is that do you get the dissociative effects noticeably still and don't black out when doing doses in hundereds of milligrams??

I think I "blacked out" only once or twice on MXE, if we are differentiating "blacking out" from merely losing oneself in the depths of an M-Hole. Sometimes the distinction is hard to make. But as far as my experience goes, at doses exceeding 290mg I still experienced classical dissociation. I've got to admit, though, that the dissociation at that level felt more like walking a fine line between conscious dissociation and being completely anesthetized, and I have no doubt ~300mg is well above an anesthetic dose of MXE in the non-tolerant user.

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

Merged.

 

[Shifty38]

Taken MXE on several occasions - once by itself and the other time with MDMA, aMT and 6APB. For me, taken around the peak, it seems to make everything sparkle for a short period. Then, and this has happened every time, its dark side seems to emerge, taking the experience to some really uncomfortable places. However, taken well after the peak, it seems to cool things down very nicely and has a wonderful afterglow the next day.

As for its addictive properties, I have no experience with that. For some reason, I perceive MXE to be 'dirty' drug. That is an entirely intuitive label, reflecting neither its pureness or qualities. To be honest, it scares me a little and that coupled with my weird perception of the substance makes me treat it with a very, very healthy respect.

 

[Transcendence]

Taken MXE on several occasions - once by itself and the other time with MDMA, aMT and 6APB.

My brain is wincing before that combo. MDMA, aMT, and 6apb are each likely to be significantly neurotoxic by themselves. What was it like?

 

[Vaya]

Merged.

Good stuff :D

MDMA, aMT, and 6apb are each likely to be significantly neurotoxic by themselves. What was it like?

I'll chime in on this one. Based on two experiences I had, combining MXE with aMT produced a rather tense and dysphoric experience - most notably, it heightened what would have otherwise been negligible MXE-induced anxiety to very uncomfortable levels. Plus, being that aMT lasts 12-16 hours, if you dose MXE just once or twice, you're left to "come down" from the MXE into the amphetamine-like pseudo-psychedelic state that aMT produces. That can be a little overwhelming, since I valued MXE's relaxing properties a lot and it felt very unnatural to leave tranquility for the aMT sensorium.
YMMV.

~ vaya

 

[Transcendence]

The relationship between MXE and anxiety is hard to figure out. It's easily the most effective anxiolytic I've tried; it wipes the floor with any benzo. The feeling of general relief when I use it after a long break is a rush in itself. It makes me "know" that I can choose to worry about things and that worrying is completely pointless and a waste of life. Yet after abusing it for about 6 weeks I began maniacally obsessing over incredibly stupid details, like ruminating that I mortally offended a close friend by offering him a particular seat or getting paranoid about people's eye movements.

Then after stopping for a couple days I experienced full blown panic attacks, strong hypochondria, and conspiratorial thoughts. I am normally a scientifically-minded person, so this is atypical. I think a big part of the problem though was that I was smoking some freshly harvested homegrown that hadn't yet cured properly and so had very high levels of THC and low CBD. For at least a week after stopping I alternated between strangely calm and in need of an anti-psychotic.

Yeah, most any DRI will cause similar symptoms if used in large amounts daily for two months. But I'm usually not really drawn to DRIs so this was never a problem for me. At the time, it didn't even seem like abuse. It seemed rational that I was using it all the time. I seriously thought I was in the midst of some kind of cultural revolution revolving around MXE and sticking it to the baby-boomers or something. Like there was a natural progression from LSD (boomer) to MDMA (gen X) to MXE (gen Y) and each drug was an ordained touchstone. So weird. I never had this bullshit sense of divinity or purpose from any drug, not even any psychedelic.

And I just ordered more. 8) And my vendor doubled the amount I ordered as "goodwill". Ha!

 

[Vaya]

The relationship between MXE and anxiety is hard to figure out. It's easily the most effective anxiolytic I've tried; it wipes the floor with any benzo. The feeling of general relief when I use it after a long break is a rush in itself. It makes me "know" that I can choose to worry about things and that worrying is completely pointless and a waste of life. Yet after abusing it for about 6 weeks I began maniacally obsessing over incredibly stupid details, like ruminating that I mortally offended a close friend by offering him a particular seat or getting paranoid about people's eye movements.

Then after stopping for a couple days I experienced full blown panic attacks, strong hypochondria, and conspiratorial thoughts. I am normally a scientifically-minded person, so this is atypical.

These statements reflect, almost identically, the onset of my abuse-related psychosis. If I may, I'd like to suggest that you give your brain a rest. Just... trust me. It gets exponentially worse, megalomania and paranoia were the first symptoms of psychosis I experienced after about a month and a half-two months of daily, repeated administration - I should also mention that I haven't used cannabis in years, yet had the same symptoms, so I wouldn't chalk it up to pot-induced paranoia (although cannabis could definitely have exacerbated the anxiety... but not likely with the hypochondria, conspiratorial thoughts, et. al). Anyway, trust me, I'm attempting to convey these things out of good-willed concern, especially due to the fact that you "just ordered more" and the amount you ordered was doubled. I just can't keep my mouth shut when I get the sense someone may be setting him or herself up for a long and painful road ahead. Especially with methoxetamine. Be safe!

~ vaya

 

[Jesusgreen]

^ Very well said Vaya, I think dissociatives in general can often have this effect - that's not to say everyone gets it, and many are able to use dissociatives fairly regularly without any problems, but this isn't the case for most people, and with stimulating dissociatives in particular, ala PCP x-MeO-PCP and MXE, these kind of symptoms are worryingly common.

I've noticed the same thing a lot, some of my friends use MXE and I've seen them touting it as the best drug there is, problem free, making all their problems better - when I've actually seen it do the opposite. I'm guilty of the same thing myself, I often find myself telling people just how amazing MXE is when I'm on it/on an afterglow, when in actual fact I think it has some therapeutic use at low doses as a stimulant, but otherwise it's completely a hedonistic drug with several risks and no real benefits.

Not to say I don't enjoy it for that purpose, but that's when you have to start being careful

 

[Shifty38]

My brain is wincing before that combo. MDMA, aMT, and 6apb are each likely to be significantly neurotoxic by themselves. What was it like?

Sorry, shitty syntax on my behalf. Taken MXE separately with those substances. Don't think I'd combine any of them together.

 

[MarcChagalsGhost]

Thanks to the member who re-directed me x x x

Haven't read all of this thread yet, but I will....

OK... read and absorbed.

Addiction is a funny beast. I am addicted to nicotine. Physically and mentally. I have gone for periods of years without using nicotine, and have substituted smoking with a lot of the nicotine replacement products - lozenges, chewing gum, etc,. The only thing that nicotine does to me now, is satiate my desire for nicotine. So the question is: Am I addicted to MXE?

I'm not sure. I haven't used MXE for three days, and have no desire to use it. However, the effects of MXE seem to last for longer than a lot of people are prepared to admit. A single 20mg dose completely resolves all of my physical and mental problems for weeks. But is MXE resolving problems that it caused in the first place? I know that a couple of months after I started using it, I got kidney stones.... but I've had them before. They are painful, but once ya pass them everythig is fine...

I had a series of blood tests last year after I started getting worrying pains in my left shoulder... The results? Everything A OK. Maybe my liver and kidneys are just used to abuse... I didn't use MXE for a while... I posted a report on here somewhere in November... I'll link it later... Last month I started to feel really bad though - was sleeping way too much; had stomach pains, and diarhia. After a week of doing small doses of MXE though I feel great. But is that down to MXE? or would these problems have resolved themselves?

Has MXE cured me of alcoholism? Well I got drunk last night. However, I don't drink that often anymore. And I don't usually drink to get drunk like I used to. On the whole, I would say that using MXE has had more positives than negatives so far. But there is a nagging doubt at the back of my mind... It's so easy to build up the dose until your in a comfortable state of detatchment from... I don't know... Everything.

It's tempting to blame all of ones problems on 'something'... anything. It's also tempting to find some kind of escape from 'reality'. I suppose I am quite lucky, in that I have some healthy obsessions. But one of my 'unhealthy' obsessions is cerrtain types of mind altering chemicals. I think that anyone - including myself - who seeks release from drugs needs to ask themselves some questions...

Oh I don't know... just felt like sharing x

Oh by the way... this song is beutiful http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2sfwky4RqQ

Sorry if I've gone on a bit here. Just that i'm feeling a bit strange today, and there's nobody I can really talk to about my particular problem... if indeed it is a problem.

 

[lynx2051]

It is rather addictive for me anyway. It's the perfect drug. It has stimulant, depressant and hallucinogenic properties. I am worried about the bladder/kidney damage it causes in long-term.

 

[lynx2051]

There is something very VERY dark about MXE. It seems to have depressant effects in high doses. Seriously I've been on google looking of cool ways to die.