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Your worst withdrawal experience.

Tsukasa

Tsukasa

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 21, 2007
Messages
1,871
I'll save mine for later. Just to see if it's worth posting and going into all the detail after I see some of yours.
 
I guess the current withdrawal your going through is the worst, as when i look back they never seem that bad but at the time its hell. Do you think that whats makes us addicts, being able to forget or ignore the pain so quickly and easily.
 
I was on:

70ml Methadone a day
600mg to 1700mg Heroin a day
1 bottle of wine a day
2 or 3 Blue valiums most days, but not physically hooked on em

I had my last use up, then went into rehab. They gave me 70mg methadone on day 1, then 50mg day 2 then 30mg day 3, then nothing.

It was the HARDEST thing I've ever done in my life. I was so fucking sick. Lieing in the bathroom puking and shitting, but far more concerned about having massive unbearable physical aches and pains, my legs Killing me, whole skeleton trying to escape my body, pouring in sweat, absolutlely freezing cold, mentally at the absolute limit of unbearableness, can't be even slightly comfortable in any way or form or relax at all. After the puking and shitting stopped, pain feels worse in legs, cant really describe it as pain, but just UNbearable feeling. Like if you were held under water and you get to the stage just before you die and stay at that stage forever. Total fucking hell. 100% awake, experiencing all this for 12 days 24 hours a day, not 1 wink of sleep at all in this peroid. Start to get 20mins to 1 hour of sleep after day 12. ABsolutley NO energy, still restless cant sit down, cant stand up, can't lie down. Cold, weak, achey, fluey, emotional, feeling of doom/despair. Eventually after 21 days starts to get a TINY bit better. Getting a bit more sleep, falling asleep about 4am and waking up at 6am in a cold sweat feeling like shit. Slowly the symptoms go away, like really fucking slowly...

All of this knowing with one quick hit in an INSTANT it would all go away!

I'm 41 days clean now, I am sleeping ok now, but still no energy and a bit achey.

Fuck me, it was absolute hell. Hardest thing I've ever done. NEVER again!!!!!
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WHen I said 'then nothing', i meant opiates. They gave me lofexidine on day 1 - 5, but I was on meth for first 3 of those, so was pointless!! No arguing with docs tho! Thinking about it they should have given me it when effects of methadone fully wore off..starting day 5 not finishing!! They gave me librium for those first 3 days too and a zopiclone on one night after complaining of no sleep for 10 days! Also at one point as well when I was saying to them I was gonna do a runner, they gave me Largactil (chlorpromazine) which actually really helped for about an hour.

edit now 97 days clean of all substances and alcohol. Physically I feel fine now and I'm sleeping well. Mentally I am feeling better and better. The last 3 months have been very much ups and downs, more downs than ups, but slowly getting more of a balance. Can't wait to see how I feel after 6 months or a year of being totally clean. Does seem ridiculous I haven't given my body a rest like this in 12 or 13 years!
 
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@oliphil
shit man how did you put up with that sort of pain, i feel ill just reading it. Tbh ive never done physical WD that bad, mental terribly but ive never been that bed ridden i couldnt go score. If dont sleep for 3 days, i loose the plot . guess ive just not got the inner strength or moral fibre to do hardcore withdrawals. i'd allways choose maintenance over your experience and wean that way.
^How much of your WD do you think was methadone ?(ive been on 80ml last 5 months or so)
 
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I really don't know how I did it. I could never make it past 50 hours before that. I had so many attempts at doing it at home on much smaller habits and just couldn't do it, then when my habit gets to an all time high I do it! Feels good though to have finally done it!

This was in The priory by the way. Can u believe thats how they do it there. 3 day detox regardless of your habit.

I chose maintenence and to try wean myself, but could never stick to it. If I did ever drop down to a low dosage I would be using on top then go back up. It was ridiculous and went on for years. Subutex maybe would have been different, but I had a hard time getting on subutex properly. I couldn't even wait the 24hours u have to wait to switch over.
 
^do you think being in a hospital/rehab is a big reason you suceeded? surprised somewhere private like the priory made you suffer so much with a brutal methadone reduction like that. Still couldnt have done it myself , would have done a runner no doubt.
 
Honestly, it was definitely with Tramadol, and that's something I've physically and mentally withdrawn from on numerous occasions. I start using it when I was about 15 for a leg problem and began abusing it by 16. I continued taking up to twenty a day until about two years ago. If ever I ran out and I couldn't get another prescription or afford to get it offline and ship it, I was fucked. After approximately one day--sometimes a day and a half--I would begin feeling the physical and mental affects of withdrawal.

It would start with my body temperature being out of whack and I would get cold sweats constantly. It would then progress to aching pain throughout my body, especially my hips and legs. If it was night time, I was unable to sleep, even for days at a time. I would end up tossing and turning in bed, sometimes every minute, on the minute. I can't begin to explain how frustrating this could be. I would end up crying even. On a mental level I would pretty much break down. I would become *extremely* irritated with anyone and anything. I would skip classes and work due to exhaustion from lack of sleep as well as an overall bad mood. I would become extremely depressed, and there's no description of how devastating it could feel.

Probably the worst time was the longest period of withdrawal. When I finally quit for good, I went through noticeable physical withdrawals for approximately two weeks and mental/emotional withdrawals for six months. After that I began to notice a marked difference in my life as the depression began to disappear... finally.

It's also worth mentioning that I was shooting up all kinds of opiates off and on, but when I couldn't get them I would abuse Tramadol. The tramadol would keep me from withdrawing horribly but as soon as I stopped taking that, the really bad withdrawals would set in. I also quit shooting up opiates a good month before I sobered up 100% due to a moving to another city in which I could not locate any drugs. I had two bottles of Tramadol and abused those while I could, and then the above experience occurred when they ran out.
 
@usernamehere
Tramadol , i didnt think this drug was really classed as addictive or gave much, if any of a high?. Agree with the depression while coming of opiates, this imo is the WORST part of WD's . If you suffer mentally to start with, obviously its even worse + can make you suicidal to say the least.
Overall i think mental craving part of withdrawals are far worse than the short lived physical symtoms.
 
oliphil what did you think when you took the librium? that stuff saved my life for anxiety.. but i was having to take 4-5 a day towards the end (two weeks) after starting on 1 a day. sorry you had to go through that buddy and i can't believe you're still not 100% better
 
120mg Methadone and 6mg Xanax a day, went cold turkey, ended up in the ER twice in the first week.
 
molly897 said:
oliphil what did you think when you took the librium? that stuff saved my life for anxiety.. but i was having to take 4-5 a day towards the end (two weeks) after starting on 1 a day. sorry you had to go through that buddy and i can't believe you're still not 100% better
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Didn't feel it at all. I guess I had a little benzo tolerance beforehand anyway though.

I've taken it before though on it's own and to be honest it was just like diazepam
 
donnie080208 said:
@usernamehere
Tramadol , i didnt think this drug was really classed as addictive or gave much, if any of a high?. Agree with the depression while coming of opiates, this imo is the WORST part of WD's . If you suffer mentally to start with, obviously its even worse + can make you suicidal to say the least.
Overall i think mental craving part of withdrawals are far worse than the short lived physical symtoms.
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A lot of people don't think Tramadol can be that addictive, especially since it isn't a controlled substance... yet. However, if you type in "Tramadol addiction" here at Bluelight or at Google.com you will find plenty of responses from people who have struggled with it =/ It's a very deceiving drug, especially when most people take a few and don't feel much of anything if they've abused harder opiates. The real physical high comes in when people start taking a lot of them throughout the day or at once. I would take seven, then five, then five, then four... all just a few hours apart. By the end of the night I would be so fucked up I could barely keep my eyes open and I started having seizures all the time.

Anyway, I personally think doctors should begin recognizing the fact that it's addictive. I even got caught doctor shopping for more, it was that bad. There was one time I was filling four different prescriptions a month from four different doctors and pharmacies, and then ordering at least 180 more from the internet. Sometimes I would have up to four prescriptions for 120 pills each in one month, and I would go through all of them like it was nothing. So yeah, while it's not a very potent drug, it can be once you start taking large amounts. To me it was just as good as any other opiate, even Oxycontin/Dilauded/Roxycontin/Demerol once you hit a certain point. I ended up abusing mainly Oxycontin and heroin and there was a brief period I took a lot of Phentanyl (I would cut open the packages and suck the goo out so it would all hit at once versus wearing the patch for a day or more) but I would always abuse the Tramadol when I couldn't find anything else, especially when I went off to college several states away from my dealer in a place where pills were very hard to find (the middle of nowhere, literally).
 
^^^So you said in your experience, that you used tramadol to curve withdrawals from other opiates. and then I suppose in turn became physically dependent on tramadol, and then experienced the withdrawals you were staving off with the tramadol once you stopped taking them? If this doesn't make sense, please let me know.

I ask because I am 5 days off of an oxycodone addiction, although the whole time through said addiction I have been taking tramadol, and was dependent on both substances, now just the tramadol. Shortly, I plan on tapering off the tramadol, and don't know whether the withdrawals will be different (I've experienced tramadol withdrawals many times) due to the oxycodone addiction. I've been taking more tramadol to also curve the withdrawal from oxycodone. Sorry if this is post is unclear and unorganized, I wrote it rather rushed.
 
the worst withdrawl of my life.......... damn. I cant count them all. But would have to say Herion in 86. ( which I just used stupidly after 24 years clean from it_ it was a hardcord addiction. doing about 4 gs a day. went cold turkey. I was in physical pain from head to toe. Lived in the bathroom. sat on the toilet and puked in the bathtub or trashcah for daysl Had what I call the cold burns/. where you are sweating your ass off hot but freezing your ass off at the same time. bawling my eyes out from the sheer agony. and begging people too get me some. Just a little to take the pain away. Nobody would do it. they hid the phone and took my pager. these are true friends man. I hated em, called em every name in the book. didn't matter they loved me enough to make me go through it. It was fucking brutal enough that I never used again for 24 years. I won't do it again either. I fucked up. so I though away the rigs, trashed the rest of the h and wont do it again.

Next closest I was on opiates for 14 years. I have health issues that make me take em;.
ruptured l2 l3 l4 l5 s1. severe degenerative disc disease. osteoarthritisl osteroporois. spinal stenosis. my lower lumbar is fucked to say the least. also have disease that took me out of wonderful career. Hidrdenitis. I was on 10 mg vics now norcos. morphine 300 mg a day, now oxycontin, neurontin and baclofen. I got put in jail on a failure to pay misdemeanor fine 3 months behind ( all three months I was hospitalized at some point and put on ventilator, very sick with lower lumbar bacterial pneumonia amdput into a coma and on a ventilator all three times spend like 42 days of three months in hospital) got picked up on failure to pay misdeameanor warrant. Of course when You are on a ventialator and dying you arent thinking about paying your finesl. the judge was a cunt and put me on a 10 day hold and I had to ct on the concrete in the county jail. they would not give me what my drs had me on. they didnt care I was still on oxygen. took ten days to see judge she gave me 1 hour to get down and pay on fine or they would pick me up in 2 hours and I woud do 45 days. bitch. nothing like having massive pain, being taken off all meds so your in 200 percent more pain. and doing it laying on a concrete floor and shitting your brains out and puking your ass off in front of 46 people. Humbling to say the least. thank god most of them understood and tried to help. forced me to eat. forced me to drink. Helped me up and down and helped me in the showers. it was horrid to say the least. made some good friends in there that have kept in touch. taken me to drs etc. I dont recommend it to anyone/ thank god I had tapered off morphine shortlyh before so I was able to beat that part easy enough, it was the rest of it that kicked my ass; I just spent 2 months living on 800 mg Ibu but it got to much andI couldn[t walk so am back on meds and looking at surgery . I hate the damn pills with a passion. I wouldn[t wish dependency/addiction on my worst enemy;
 
Myxomatosis said:
^^^So you said in your experience, that you used tramadol to curve withdrawals from other opiates. and then I suppose in turn became physically dependent on tramadol, and then experienced the withdrawals you were staving off with the tramadol once you stopped taking them? If this doesn't make sense, please let me know.

I ask because I am 5 days off of an oxycodone addiction, although the whole time through said addiction I have been taking tramadol, and was dependent on both substances, now just the tramadol. Shortly, I plan on tapering off the tramadol, and don't know whether the withdrawals will be different (I've experienced tramadol withdrawals many times) due to the oxycodone addiction. I've been taking more tramadol to also curve the withdrawal from oxycodone. Sorry if this is post is unclear and unorganized, I wrote it rather rushed.
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I would use Tramadol to get high on when I didn't have anything else, not to curve withdrawals. I mean that was an added bonus but I definitely wasn't thinking, "Hm. I'm gonna take a few of these to keep me from withdrawing." Tapering from Tramadol does seem to make everything easier though. However, I was so addicted that I would end up taking them all at once instead of spacing them out. There was no way I was able to control myself. I ended up going through some seriously awful withdrawals when it was all said and done with. Perhaps tapering will help you but you will still experience mental withdrawals at the very least, and from my experience those can be even worse than physical withdrawals =/
 
At the moment i'm having the most crazy withdrawll experience from amphetamines, something i've never gone through before. I'm having extreme cold sweat, shakes, messed up sleeping pattern, i can't think straight, having mood swings, i have never had such crazy symptoms as this. I'm not sure if this is normal.

I think i had too much or my last batch i binged on was different, I do remember it was stronger than normal.
 
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Draigan said:
I was eating one of those 50 mcg fentanyl patches a day for like a month, and shooting morphine once in a while. I went cold turkey. It was fucking Horrifying!!

Instead of the usual 3 day hump, it was the 10 day hump. It wasn't until day 10 that it started to go down. It was just extremely painful. I can't really describe that WD pain. There is always the extra pains that suck, leg cramps, yawning, tearing, nausea etc, but then there is that main WD feeling. That feeling that nobody knows until they have been there. That main WD feeling was huge that time I detoxed. OUCH ><
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That 'feeling' I've been trying to describe to friends recently. In my opinion it is where you're at that absolute limit of un-bearableness.

Like, you know when you are in a Sauna and after a while it gets too much, like you start getting weak, etc, it's like you get to the worst point of that and stay like that for days and days and days. Or like I said earlier, you are held under water and it gets to that un bearable point where you need to come up for air so so fucking much, its like being stuck in that for days! I know it's not exactly the same, but just trying to put into perspective some how!
 
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