• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Your worst withdrawal experience.

Xanax has been the worst so far, it just made me feel like I was losing my mind plus alot of physical symptoms similar to opiate withdrawal. My nervous system just went nuts, I'd be walking down a street and wouldn't be able to remember where I was or where I was going. I'd get vertigo, severe panic attacks, severe suicidal depression, constantly felt like someone close to me had died, crying spells that came out of nowhere, never slept or ate for three nights. It all ended when I had a seizure and got in an accident the fourth day. Of course I went back on benzos. I'm now tapering off Klonopin slowly but even that isn't as easy as I thought it would be and I'm using a taper plan and my Psychiatrist is helping me do it safely.

Opiates are hard, for me acute Heroin wd is the hardest because of the combination of physical and mental symptoms, still not as torturous as Xanax wd overall though. One of the hardest symptoms of wd for me is this sense of bereavement and hopelessness that I get, it's so intense and is what I fear the most about withdrawal.

I hear varying reports on subs, I don't know how long I'll stay on them but I'll eventually find out if they compare to the wd's described above. In the past they've worked miracles if I only use them for a week to come off of an opiate.
 
Fentanyl. Period. Followed by Morphine, OxyContin, and Dilaudid. Interestingly enough, once I found out about Kratom, I have used it to curb 90% of the Wds from even Butry Fent and Acetyl Fent, which are absolute and utter hell to WD off of. I will never touch them again. But for those of you opiate people out there, rest assured that if you find yourself in a bind with opiates again, Kratom can be a god-send. I wouldn't say it if I hadn't been saved by it more than once. There is nothing else that even comes close.
 
I was a heavy drinker for 17 years and took Xanax for 10 years. I was cut off of both cold turkey when I went to rehab. I decided to stop Zoloft cold turkey as well while I was going through the process. Benzo withdrawal and subsequent PAWS lasted for about two years, and during that time I had several siezures (even with antisiezure meds), it felt like I had a literal electric current running under my skin, extreme and constant brain zaps, vomiting multiple times a day, extreme emotions and depression, zero memory, and constant body pain probably from the siezures. I will never touch another benzo as long as I live. I registered with medic alert to ensure I'm never accidentally given one in an emergency. My last benzo was 14 February 2010, and I am still not fully recovered. It may not b a glamorous withdrawal story, but that was my experience and it made me realize how strong I really am.
 
if you want pure utter hell quit methadone or valium; Not sure which is worse? fuck my mother fucking life

I've got over 120 days off methadone and 60 days off suboxone; I still feel like fucking soulless its fucking scary its only been 60 days sober off everything... fucking scary.
 
For me personally was coming off 90 MG of Methadone cold turkey.
It was pure hell. I was shitting and throwing up on myself and couldn't move but was full of anxiety.
I didn't sleep for weeks and was losing my mind.
 
Taking 4mgs of Clonazepam daily for 3 years and being forced to detox in 5 days...In those days I had 7 grandmal seizures and it took me 2 years to feel "normal"
 
I've detoxed from meth, heroin, oxy and other opiates, benzos, alcohol, weed I guess, nicotine, SSRI's and snri's and a big mixture of psych drugs. BENZOs by FAR was the worst thing I've ever been through in my life. The worst was over 2 weeks in hospital from 400-500mg diazepam and or 25-30mg plus of xanax or combo of other Benzos and week 2-3 onwards were hell on earth. Yet to do it again and dreading it ?. I have also yet to experience Suboxone withdrawal which I hear can be brutal but that's years off considering my dose is 32mg and im tapering benzos at the same time.

Definitely Benzos. SNRI's were no walk in the park either but I did it at my own pace and it didn't last as long as the benzos.
 
My worst withdrawal was from phenibut. It made me believe the devil is real. Those withdrawals made me its bitch. So I stopped with the high doses. Probably got my hands on some Klonopin or Etizolam and substituted with that until I was out of the woods. But benzos in general are my worst nightmare with withdrawals. It makes you wish you were dead and it can kill you. I always sound like a broken record when I say never go cold turkey from a benzo, but it's true. That shit will have you on the edge and clinging for dear life. It fucks with your head so bad.
 
^It's the psychological side to me which is so fucking hard. Yes, muscle pains, the CONSTANT headaches and muscle pains, insomnia and lack of energy are terrible - but the endless anxiety, depression, and other mental side-effects are just torturous.

I've come to learn how to identify anxiety resulting from Benzo PAWS vs. normal anxiety though. Benzo PAWS tends to be more somatic for me. I might be at work doing the exact same thing I've done a hundred times before and get a wave of extreme anxiety run through my core. I just tell myself - "it's only anxiety. There's nothing to be anxious about, it's just the result of Benzo PAWS." It seems to work.
 
That's a good idea by being mindful and aware it's PAWS and will pass. I've been going through this same routine every month and still have to keep reminding myself it's PAWS until I happen to get more benzos.
 
I am the same. I am able to distinguish between withdrawal anxiety and other, and tell myself I've got this, I know this. I get a lot of depersonalisation in Benzo withdrawal, something that used to scare me when I was 18-20 that I had as a result of too much lsd as well as depression, I can now, even in that state, tell myself what it is and it can't hurt me, even though it's horrid.
 
I also had awful WD from tramadol 3 years ago and it sounded pretty awful and similar to your experience ? I stopped cold turkey which was probably the worst Way to do it. If I could replay it I would have tapered off gradually instead as once the week of physical withdrawal wore off I started getting terrible anxiety attacks and I've never been so terrified in my life. The anxiety attacks soon became constant generalised anxiety all day every day, not even diazepam helped. It took over 2 years to recover from my anxiety and withdraw experience and even though I have chronic pain (crps/RSD) I will NEVER let a Dr put me on opiates EVER AGAIN. Now 4 years since my withdrawal I'm doing much better and take anti depressants but no anxiety meds.
 
It's a toss up for me, once I was forced to quit and withdrawl from 50+ Vicodin 10/500 per day due to my supplier getting popped and I can tell you the physical withdrawls were horrifying. I was literally curled up in a ball and couldn't move because my muscles all cramped up so bad. Pain like I've never experienced which lasted about 10 days. Another time I was forced to withdrawl from 8-12mg of Suboxone per day and those withdrawls while being painful were far more mental. Don't get me wrong I still had all the physical pain but the worst part was restless leg syndrome so bad I literally didn't sleep for almost 5 days and I can tell you not being able to sleep when it's all you want to do can really screw you up mentally. Not being able to get comfortable anywhere but at the same time not having the energy to stay moving. PURE HELL!!! I've had to withdrawl dozens of times during my 12+ plus year addiction for a bunch of different reasons but those two times were the worst. Wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy and that's no joke. Two weeks clean this time and feel better than any other time I've tried quitting, I feel like this is the time.
 
was on up to about 20 mg of xanax a day and had been on benzos for five years and subs for three. was taking 24 mg of subs. kicked pr.etty much cold turkey...in jail. 5 weeks of hell and psychosis. thought people were talking to me through cracks in the walls. was having visions and shit. think it gave me ptsd. couldn't even walk for a while. motor functions wouldn't work.

been going through withdrawal from zyprexa for going on 2 years now. just as bad as benzos and just plain scary. its one thing to be out of it for a month or so, after a year or more you wonder wtf is really happening. getting better though now, but been the most difficult experience of my life and thats saying something. don't know what's permanent and whats not. really fucked up my brain though. improving slowly i guess.

had way too many withdrawals. still have gabapentin to go through next and ive been on it for 5 years. fml :(
 
I can't even imagine how terrible and frightening it was going through withdrawal in jail for 5 whole weeks. The part of PAWS where you can't even speak feels awful. It's like your brain is not your brain anymore. You can't really form words and complete thoughts. I tried to order stuff for Mother's Day and that gave me a panic attack because I couldn't think clearly. Any other time I would be definite about what I want to get. Decision-making is awful during this phase. That's why I've been hiding out in my room lately. I can't really speak and don't want to.

cbddreadhead mentioned withdrawal from Tramadol, that was also the worst. I used to get them regularly on the internet many years ago, then they became unavailable because the government was cracking down on sites like that. Tramadol became scheduled. I think tramadol is partly an antidepressant and partly an opiate so it's hell on the mind and body when you miss a dose. Pretty sure kratom helped me through that when I discovered it.
 
I used to be addicted to tramadol too. The mental withdrawal from that is tough, extreme self-loathing and suicidal thoughts for me when I went through it. Now I have a 4 gram/day tianeptine habit, trying to ween off with loperamide, but keep going back.... this is an even worse addiction, I think, it's got that mental-physicial one-two punch of classical opiates.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top