2 Months After MDMA, still feeling messed up...

[curi0us]

I'm going through the same thing, any postive outcomes experienced by anyone here?

E or whatever drug ingested at the time has basically fucked your brain enough that the neurotransmitters, DA, SE, NE, etc etc has become imbalanced so you gotta balance it through chemical means.

If you only dropped once and it fucked you up like it did to me, you probably already have a very sensitive brain chemistry caused by an underlying disorder. In my case I was bipolar II and E sent me into a depressive-manic state in which, I felt like a gold-fish. I had the memory/attention of a gold fish with this depressive cloud looming over me, had obsessive thoughts ppl were against me, and I felt I'll be stuck like that forever.

You have to understand this feeling is from an imbalance (most likely dopamine/serotonin) since it gets severely altered during mdma/e use.

I suggest this:

Get a blood test. But just b/c your blood tests are normal, it doesn't mean you wont benefit from the supplements. My tests were perfect but taking shit still helped me a lot. Research all the chemicals. Pay attention to your thoughts. Also theres no way to test neurotransmitter levels.

1) Try supplements, they are the building blocks of neurotransmitters.

Basics:
A) b complex
B) Fish Oil
C) 5-htp (serotonin precursor)
D) Zinc

If those dont work, then the more effective ones for depression:

A) St Johns Wort (Kira or Pirka Extract)
-Shown to upregulate 5-ht receptors and there are studies of its efficacy on pubmed.

B) Rhodioa Rosea
-Some studies, not as much as SJW

C) Lithium orotate
-Low dose has been used for depression, and its a mood stabilizer as well

(Get all the above at iherb, its pretty cheap). Make sure you take one at a time.

D) Piracetam (Careful with it)


The reason you would start with the basic supplements first is because the availability of those vitamins/minerals could drastically alter the efficiacy of other supplements. A deficiency in one of those could render other supplements ineffective.

If the above still doesn't work then try various SSRIs/chemicals after very careful research, and remember to start at a low dose.

You can either ignore it and let it creep over you the rest of your life knowing you'll never feel the same again, and hope that it will return to normal. For some it will, for others it wont. Everyones different.

If it doesn't, then you need to take a chemical approach and rebalance these suckers, in which case you will be a guinea pig and you will need to do a lot of research on pubmed.com if you are to try the more effective pharmacological approaches.

If chemicals caused the imbalance, then chemicals could fix them.

 

[ohmylawd]

I'm bumping this thread because it seems related to what I and possibly another guy who recently posted are feeling.

I'm a professional hypochondriac.... and in my 6 days of feeling like shit after my first (but very heavy) roll I have googled absolutely everything.

The hypochondriac side of me has a huge fear that I have permanent brain damage. Although, I've also been convinced of having cancer and various mental health problems amongst other things (none of which i had). I think this could well be either depersonalization/derealization or a simple massive drop in seratonin relative to my huge dose of MDMA.

Knowing myself and having looked through a lot of threads on this problem I think it's clear that, first, anxiety is an underlying issue to the problem and secondly, mariju-fucking-ana.

Ok, so marijuana itself isn't a bad thing... and I'm not condemning it, however, I think it is often the cause for depersonalization/derealization. Marijuana and anxiety are often very closely linked and I've seen a fair amount of reports of MDMA use WITH marijuana having caused this problem.

Personally I am/was well aware of how smoking weed made me feel. I'd not smoked it for about 7 months. Then, the fateful night, I took the equivilent of 4-5 pills in MDMA and felt fucking amazing. Next, in the midst of my high, a friend whipped out a huge blunt. As you can guess... I smoked a fair amount.

What followed was half an hour of extreme anxiety and deep thought. Back and fourth my mind went... I seem to recall feeling like life was pointless.. like I was fucked up or insane... that I had to fight to reach the light and get back to reality. All of this happened right in the middle of a very emotional MDMA trip. I think this is what brought on the feeling I have now been stuck with for 6 days.

I have felt like this before however... although only for short periods of time. It's not too bad right now. My symptoms are a kind of dull/slow detachment from reality, a slight difficulty in reading (caused by vision) and anxiety.

I am being optomistic right now and I know I'll get through this soon. Good luck to everyone who is in this situation and remember, if you suffer from anxiety then, in my opinion, think twice before smoking marijuana.

I would also really apreciate any more advice on the topic.

Peace.

 

[tyseng]

hey nathan, i experienced something similar to this. except it wasn't on going, it was only when i was on something--alcohol or drugs. it was honestly all in my head, i took too much E one night and i thought it had screwed me up for good. i would always have a mini freak out or have paranoid thoughts even when i was only doing alcohol
sometimes your mind is your greatest enemy, try not to worry (i know it's much easier said that done) and there's a good chance that it'll clear you up. what ever substance was in your system is almost surely out by now. i really hope this helps you out and best of luck man.
-tornado

Hey guys... ill try to make this short and sweet....


Im a 21 year old male.
i did mdma about 2 months ago at a club, when i was drinking, i didnt even do that much, but i remember a weird feeling of anxiety when it kicked it like something was wrong... then it went away and i just felt really down and out of energy... i have done E/mdma it in the past, (few years ago) What i have been experiencing is some sort of "anxiety" my vision has been blurry, constantly feel like im in a dreamy type of state, (depersonilaztion/derealization?) basicly my whole preception is alterd.... i have moments where i feel my head tingley and my inner bridge of my foot tingle/twitch..... just dont feel the same as i used to... everything is different, having problems concentrating and having lack of motivational aswell... and i believe im depressed too (probably because ive been living in this terrible state for 2 months) i remember this happened once before from doing cocaine... and it went away after two weeks.... Anyways i went to my doctor, told him everything, he thinks its some kind of anxiety... gave me clonazipam.... i stopped taking it because it made me feel like a zombie.

Im overall healthy with no other complications....
What i have been taking to help me is a good multivitamin, omega 3,6,9, 5-htp, and exercising regularly..... I have also stopped taking any king of stimulatn, (coffe, ciggarettes, energy drinks, alcohol, pop) I think it has helped a little bit in regards to the clearity of my thinking... being able to think a bit clearer with less brain fog... but i still have this Terrible feeling over me, its almost as if im stuck in a bad weed high! thats probably the best way to discribe it.

Weed would never really react properly with me, would give me this feeling, never enjoyed the high....

What i would give to feel normal again........

Anyways guys, i just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to read this, and if you could give me some advice if you have been in this situation, i would really really appreciate it.... im starting to feel pretty helpless, this has ruined my life... literally.

thanks again... Nathan.

 

[Warped Reality]

Hey guys... ill try to make this short and sweet....


Im a 21 year old male.
i did mdma about 2 months ago at a club, when i was drinking, i didnt even do that much, but i remember a weird feeling of anxiety when it kicked it like something was wrong... then it went away and i just felt really down and out of energy... i have done E/mdma it in the past, (few years ago) What i have been experiencing is some sort of "anxiety" my vision has been blurry, constantly feel like im in a dreamy type of state, (depersonilaztion/derealization?) basicly my whole preception is alterd.... i have moments where i feel my head tingley and my inner bridge of my foot tingle/twitch..... just dont feel the same as i used to... everything is different, having problems concentrating and having lack of motivational aswell... and i believe im depressed too (probably because ive been living in this terrible state for 2 months) i remember this happened once before from doing cocaine... and it went away after two weeks.... Anyways i went to my doctor, told him everything, he thinks its some kind of anxiety... gave me clonazipam.... i stopped taking it because it made me feel like a zombie.

Im overall healthy with no other complications....
What i have been taking to help me is a good multivitamin, omega 3,6,9, 5-htp, and exercising regularly..... I have also stopped taking any king of stimulatn, (coffe, ciggarettes, energy drinks, alcohol, pop) I think it has helped a little bit in regards to the clearity of my thinking... being able to think a bit clearer with less brain fog... but i still have this Terrible feeling over me, its almost as if im stuck in a bad weed high! thats probably the best way to discribe it.

Weed would never really react properly with me, would give me this feeling, never enjoyed the high....

What i would give to feel normal again........

Anyways guys, i just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to read this, and if you could give me some advice if you have been in this situation, i would really really appreciate it.... im starting to feel pretty helpless, this has ruined my life... literally.

thanks again... Nathan.

I have this exact feeling. Literally everything you mentioned - I have. It's terrible. Just remember you're not alone, just give it time and it will pass, keep taking your vitamins, excersize, eat well, and sleep well.

 

[mralias]

I'm bumping this thread because it seems related to what I and possibly another guy who recently posted are feeling.

Yeah that might be me. Cheers for bumping this thread.

I am most definitely having similiar symptoms to those mentioned here. I did just over 400mg a week ago today, my first and only time, and am still feeling weird. Over the course of this week I've felt all sorts of different things, convinced myself I'm going to die, going to go insane etc. I think I picked up a bug as well, which didnt help my paranoia, which made me feel pretty rubbish the past few days though I think that's gone now!

Basically I definitely feel 'different.' It's hard to describe. I have a sense of not really being here, like I'm watching everything happen. I think at the start of the week it felt like I was on auto pilot. I'm not feeling as 'spacey' as I was on mon, tue, now I feel more like I'm aware that I don't feel right. It is a kind of desensitisation.

The other weird thing is that I think it comes in waves. For example, yesterday eve I was feeling wierd but not too bad, all of a sudden this feeling came over me and I felt much worse. Again today at work, everything was ok, I 'clicked my back' and all of a sudden I was aware my state was much worse.

I'm really not sure what's going on, if it's just down to lack of seretonin or something else. It just feels like a really bad dream, I keep expecting to wake up. The thing is I keep worrying myself about it all so I can't tell what's real and what's in my head.

 

[severely etarded]

piracetam has been shown to enhance mental clarity.

 

[ohmylawd]

Hey motherfuckers! After 4 days of insanity and 3 of weirdness I feel normal-ish again. Seriously, that was the most fucked up week of my life. I can finally read normally again! I can finally not think about death and insanity! I can joke around and laugh! woweee.... MDMA you showed me a good time... but you are not for me.

mralias.... if you're still feeling weird I suggest you apply your mind to mentally challenging tasks... like reading complex novels.. or playing word games and also just going about your daily routines. Try to forget about the weird feeling and you should/might fall back into reality. You are already in reality... it's partly the fear that you can be detached that is making you feel weird. You are already here. peace.

 

[tomber]

Your alcohol and pain medication use probably does more damage than MDMA does.

I disagree. Maybe I just didn't catch what he was taking but whatever it is I find it hard to believe it would be "worse" than MDMA. E is fine for occasional use but not all the time. Meds are taken often. Also alcohol is bad sure, but drinking a reasonable amount of wine or beer isn't going to be worse than MDMA. Unless of course the meds and drinks are going down at the same time.

 

[incartiettelle]

daftpunk/drizzy, any updates?

 

[jerz92]

I think I may be going through the same thing. I'm 18 and only took MDMA twice on consecutive weekends. Check out my post. Best of luck to you man.

 

[Rocko1290]

I created this account so I could potentially help anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly derealization.

To everyone suffering--go get your vitamin D level checked.

I, like others in this thread, also have unexplainable anxiety/derealization (not a damn thing wrong with my life, great supportive family, beautiful girlfriend, awesome job). I experimented with MDMA like others in this thread but I no longer believe it's the cause of my problem. Like everyone else said, something constantly just doesn't feel "right", it's almost unexplainable, but I just know I don't feel right. I think its depersonalization/derealization. Given my non-anxiety prone situation, it makes perfect sense that it's a physical problem. Now I'm not saying that MDMA couldn't have potentially messed something up, in fact I have an older brother who used heavily for several months if not a year and had at least of year of anxiety problems afterwards, severe anxiety to the point of panic attack where he thought his throat was closing (he was also experiencing other issues though which probably made the anxiety worse: a pregnant girlfriend and having to spend weekends in jail). Me on the other hand, I've only done MDMA 3 times, the first time I loved it, 2nd time it was okay (I was on 25mg Zoloft, which blocks the effects of MDMA), 3rd time was horrendous and the worst experience of my life in which I thought I was going to die. I wanted to go to the hospital and the only reason I didn't is because my girlfriend talked me out of it, although thinking back, I probably should have gone considering we took 10 pills each (I was on 50mg Zoloft and her on 100mg at this point). This was in October 2010. The reason we took so much is because, like I said, the Zoloft blocked the effects of the MDMA so we just got a little taste of the effects from every pill, so ignorantly kept taking more and more). Of course I felt like complete garbage for the rest of that day and the next (got a little weed to ease the comedown and this was the point at which we started smoking every day again after a ~6 month break). I seemed to be fine in the following months except a couple months later I was having some emotional issues, things saddened me easily, anger outbursts, worrying about my mother who has Chrons Disease and eventually some slight anxiety only when I was in the car or at an unfamiliar place, and occasionally at work. These were the months leading up to February 6th 2011 I believe, which is the day when the anxiety got super bad and I have not been the same since. Anyways, that's just some background so you can determine yourself what you think my anxiety may be from. My psych doubts the ecstasy is what caused my issue because I didn't get hit with full-blown, detrimental anxiety until about 4 months after I took the ten pills. Keep in mind I also started smoking weed then and I believe I started staying indoors much more often because of it. Remember they call Vitamin D the "sunshine vitamin"? Well my psychiatrist ordered some bloodwork for me recently and got the results back last Friday (04-05-11) . My vitamin D level came back at 19 which is very low. It should be in the range of 30-100 and my doctor said most people are at a 50-60 (I'm a pretty big guy, 6ft, 195lbs). I couldn't believe the way my doctor acted when he saw these results. He's always very calm, professional, straightforward, but this day he's all like "Dude! drumroll! check this out!" and puts the results in front of my face lol. Point is, he was very enthusiastic about it and acted as if he nailed my diagnosis. For those of you who don't know, Vitamin D plays a very big part in neurotransmitters as well as many other functions in the body, use the google magic to learn a little about it. You'll find a lot more on Vitamin D and depression than anxiety, but I believe the two correlate closely, and my doctor said Vitamin D deficiency can definitely cause anxiety as well.

He had me go to the local Market Street and get some micro-lingual vitamin D tablets which dissolve (as well as vitamin B12 tablets for some reason), as he explained that regular vitamin D pills process through your digestive system and don't leave much left available for the brain, while the dissolvable ones enter directly into your bloodstream and allow your brain to take what it needs first, not to mention that these are 10,000 IU tablets (I think 400 IU is the amount in a standard multivitamin). Initially I left with the impression that the vitamin D was supposed to make me feel better within a week (not sure how I got this idea lol), but I called the doctor back and they said it will take about 3 to 4 weeks. So I'm very hopeful and I will post back with the results.

Best of luck to any sufferers, trust me, I feel your pain, and I truly hope this can help some people out there.

 

[LUCASOBER]

I feel like its me saying al this drizzy drake! Its been one week for me and I need it to be over! How are you feeling now?

 

[bxlfg]

I have somehat similar symptons, though I do not associate them with mdma use, but I'll type my post anyway .

about 3 weeks before NYE(had never done MDMA then), I had a very irritating pain in my chest. It kinda came and went over the next week, after which it got a lot better so I thought it was something random. I rolled for the first time on NYE(pretty small dosage too) and everything went fine until a few days after the chest pain returned, and kept coming and going over the coming days, I felt a bit depressed too but nothing major. I started feeling light headed/blurry vision/constant "visual snow" too, with occasionally feeling like I'm out of breath when doing like walking at a high pace while I could perfectly breathe, just felt like I couldn't take in enough air. The light headed/blurry vision I would describe as the feeling you have in your head when you have drank a bit of alcohol and are what they describe as "tipsy".

So I was getting a bit worried and went to the hospital, they checked my lungs and heart and blood and etc, all fine, couldn't see anything wrong with it.

They thought it was an infection of the Pericardium and gave me heavy pain killers with infection reducing stuff in it, which basicly killed most of the pain(though not all), but did nothing for the other symptons. When lowering my dosage of painkillers the pain returned and I was said to keep the dosage up to where I do not feel pain. After about 3 months on those painkillers I needed to return for further testing, and again nothing was wrong with me. They told me to get off the pain killers because it can be dangerous to be on them so long, and felt pretty sure those assholes had no idea what was wrong with me and were just trying random stuff. Pain pretty much returned to its full when I was off the painkillers.

So I said fuck this I'm going to fix this myself, decided that a first thing I should do is stop being anxious, learned to whenever I felt anxious I needed to do something which made me relaxed, and think positive thoughts, don't stress out about unimportant shit, etc. Weirdly enough, this worked and is working pretty good. It has improved a lot since I started doing that, the blurry vision/lightheadedness is away almost 100% of the time and I have almost no chest pains anymore. It might just be random and be coming back tomorrow or next week, but you should try this imo.

I know for some people(possibly you) doing such a switch to not giving a shit to what is happening with you is almost impossible, but try it.

 

[specialsied]

same experience.

Evening,

I am still in the exact state you explained in your first post, and the statement about being almost in a dream state is so applicable! my vision in an odd blurryness but in my peripherals only, if i look at something i can focus on that one object. The most odd thing is when i speak to someone, im thinking in my head how i should react to what they are saying rather than just being second nature, and trying to look like im putting on a natural reaction... but i am so conscious of doing this. Also my concentration and focusing on tasks has dramatically decreased, i find it hard to read even paragraphs without looking away to try and rest my eyes from focusing.

I dont find myself getting depressed over it until i start thinking in to great depth about concentrating and focusing, but i keep myself very busy with the gym, work and friends. So i try to forget about it.

I took the MDMA(only two small bombs) on the 27/08 at a festival, 5 of my friends also took the same dose( if not more) of the same drug and they seem to have little of any after affects of it at all... other than the standard comedown.

I cannot stress how irritating it is though, i want to be back to normal so much!!! but i guess i can only wait until it wares of, my local GP even said just to wait it out, as he had spoke to some one before with the same situation.

Dont know if this is going to give you some peace of mind that someone is in the same situation as you! but you gave me a piece of mind, so thought it to be only fair that i respond cant believe your effects have lasted months! i was hoping a couple of weeks would allow the problem to blow over :/ but obviously not.

 

[snookie]

I have also created an account just so I can post about my experience here.

I am a 19 year old male, who is studying business at uni and works fairly hard at my job and at uni.

I began to smoke weed a few times a week roughly september 2010, and did so until February or so in 2011. I decided to stop as it was basically giving me a hangover the next day, clouding my thoughts and I began to experience this blurred vision, mildly.

Shortly before I stopped smoking weekly, I began to try pills. I have only taken them around 7 times with the last 2 times being significantly heavy binges (for me) at festivals. After these last 2 times I have been experiencing some of the same originally symptoms as drake, but very mildly, the main thing I have noticed is the blurred vision and that sense of emptiness. my 2 friends who had the same pills and the same amount as me are apparently fine.

(I always researched my pills on PR and had them after people I knew had)

It is more noticeable when I'm looking at bright lights indoors or by myself, and mainly goes away when I'm with friends or doing something productive.

I last rolled about 5 months ago, and the emptiness has gone away most of the time, but my vision has not really improved at all, and it can make me feel 'disconnected' in some social situations or at work.

I am also thinking of rolling again in about 90 days for a festival. I have tested the pills iv got and everything and only plan to have 1 or 2.

I realise that I need to abstain before this is going to get better, but I feel that I ill have the time to recover in a year's time when i go traveling etc.

I do occasionally have some weed( like once every 3 months now.) and it still gives me headaches, clouded thoughts and the general hungover feel (without the sickness)

 

[somedud]

Evening,

I am still in the exact state you explained in your first post, and the statement about being almost in a dream state is so applicable! my vision in an odd blurryness but in my peripherals only, if i look at something i can focus on that one object. The most odd thing is when i speak to someone, im thinking in my head how i should react to what they are saying rather than just being second nature, and trying to look like im putting on a natural reaction... but i am so conscious of doing this. Also my concentration and focusing on tasks has dramatically decreased, i find it hard to read even paragraphs without looking away to try and rest my eyes from focusing.

I dont find myself getting depressed over it until i start thinking in to great depth about concentrating and focusing, but i keep myself very busy with the gym, work and friends. So i try to forget about it.

I took the MDMA(only two small bombs) on the 27/08 at a festival, 5 of my friends also took the same dose( if not more) of the same drug and they seem to have little of any after affects of it at all... other than the standard comedown.

I cannot stress how irritating it is though, i want to be back to normal so much!!! but i guess i can only wait until it wares of, my local GP even said just to wait it out, as he had spoke to some one before with the same situation.

Dont know if this is going to give you some peace of mind that someone is in the same situation as you! but you gave me a piece of mind, so thought it to be only fair that i respond cant believe your effects have lasted months! i was hoping a couple of weeks would allow the problem to blow over :/ but obviously not.

Dude I couldn't have explained it better. When I speak to people I do the EXACT same thing, there seems to be more focus on the thought of how I should react, rather than focusing on what they say which deters my natural reaction even more. I hate it, it feels like I'm putting on a front when anyone speaks to me.

And my eyes look different, I can't focus in on single things anymore it just feels like Im viewing the whole picture.

 

[Renz Envy]

Don't say you took MDMA unless you know for a fact it was MDMA. When you take "pills" you put your trust in the hands of the manufacturer to give you a mix of chemicals that will be safe. "Ecstasy" no longer means MDMA anymore to me. It means some cocktail of stimulants from the other side of the railroad tracks.

If you're having psychological problems and you can't stand it, stop taking drugs. You're only making the drug users who have a good time look bad.

 

[Andronicus]

I remain a little unsure as to the MDMA link in some of these stories. People are reporting how their roll had very long-lasting negative effects yet often its hard to be sure it was MDMA and they seem to be also taking other drugs or at least have taken them like smoking weed etc. Plus it's hard to tell if they are just depressed or have some other mental illness that was triggered by drugs or just showed up co-incidentally. Certainly someone who feels weird but is STILL smoking weed is not a reliable witness to their state of mind.

I'm sure some stories are an accurate representation but given the fact that there are millions of people who will swear blind that homeopathic remedies cured some illness they had, when we know for 100% certainty that this is scientifically impossible, I don't know how reliable people's experiences are.

I've had clinical depression and being very self-conscious, trouble reading, remembering, feelings of disassociation etc etc were all part of it. Depression is a very odd place to be and if I'd taken a pill of some kind just before it set in then I think I would have been convinced it was down to that pill because the depressive reality is so drug-like.

 

[neonsun]

It now has been just about a year since my last roll. I suffered major mental problems like depression, depersonilization, non-stop thinking of things and making them negative, and was the worst time of my life. That really put me off drugs for a while. Although I liked to smoke weed I had to stop as that would only amplify the problem even more!
If you are in a really weird mind state I recommend a lot of previous advice given. Eat healthy, exercise, go on a run/walk for at least thirty minutes a day (it's great to get some fresh air outside), something that I wish I would of stated earlier was meditating this really help clears your mind increases mood and awareness.
With refraining from drug use and having lots exercise and a good diet you will start to see changes.
With time you will be better.

I say I'm still working on myself and it's been about year since I last rolled. I only smoked a handful of times in this year span but it really isn't as fun as it use to be. I usually just smoked with friends when they offered it to me, but now i'm pretty much done with it. Meditating is something I've been doing every day now and I feel like I'm starting to become over all more happy.

 

[the_abdicator]

ive been going through the exact same shit as you guys. feeling out of touch with reality, blurry vision, other strange feelings. up until now i was convinced i had fucked my brain after a bad pill experience.

after reading through this thread and a few others i have realized its just anxiety. it makes so much sense for so many reasons. i feel SO MUCH BETTER already. i cant even believe it.