In the Eyes of God said:
im goin to make this short as I cant write much
I have quit a 6 month long addiction to the most powerful opioid for a human to EVER use. I used it everyday, allday, for 6 months. I tried to quit multiple times but always failed.
This time I did what I had to, I got rid of all of it so I had no option but to quit.
I was addicted to Beta-hydroxy-4-methylfentanyl a designer derivative around 4000x the potency of morphine. My dosaging went from 36mcg 20x a day, to where I quit cold turkey at over 25 MILLIGRAM 20x a day. Thats a 675 FOLD increase in my dosaging over the 6 month period. Thats how high my tolerance went. The 36mcg would at the start get me as high as about a half bag of Heroin ($10). Thus, if my equivalence was to be crossed to Heroin my tolerance wouldve gone from 10 bags of Heroin a day (assuming Heroin only lasted 30 minutes) to over 3,300 bags of Heroin a DAY (over a KG of Heroin a DAY FOLKS)
Its now day 8.... ive only accumulated 8-9 hours of total sleep. I have been consuming electrolyte shakes, protein shakes, meal replacement shakes, vitamin/mineral supplements, and a solid meal whenever I can find the strength to chew.
For the past 4 days or so ive been soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo weak. I still cannot walkup my own stairs. I still cannot do anything barely, even chewing a meal is practically impossible.
My question is for ex-addicts of Heroin or Fentanyl, how long after quitting did it take for your "strength" to comeback???
My other question is, what can I do for my HORRIBLE INSOMNIA????? I cannot get Benzos, Lunesta, or any other sleep aid at the moment. Ive tried EVERYTHING OTC and nothings done a THING to help.
PLEASE HELP ASAP, I feel like im never going to be better and its horrible feeling.
Thanks in advance guys.
I have kicked several habits of of propionanilide type narcotics: fentanyl, sufentanil, alpha methyl fentanyl (AMF) and beta-hydroxy alpha-methyl fentanyl, but never cold turkey. I at least did buprenorphine, but the propioanilides are so fat soluble that they take days to come out of your system and several times the buprenorphine would precipitate withdrawals, of which there is no worse feeling in the world (except the one time I precipitated a methadone withdrawal with naltrexone, which was literally hell. It was the day the Soviet Union fell and I remember not being able to lie on my bed because the sheets felt so rough they were cutting me.)
I don't remember all the amounts I got up to on most of these runs, but the last time, I was doing 150 mgs (not micrograms but milligrams, so about 1500-3000 times a typical iv dose--Sublimaze comes in 50 micrograms and 100 micrograms amps ) of fentanyl 6 times a day on my last habit about 7 months ago. Fentanyl is not known for having anticholinergic effects (like dry mouth, blurred vision, difficulty urinating...) but at this dose, the anticholinergic effects were so bad that I did not go any higher because of the dry mouth and blurred vision, and my wife (who is a physician who doesn't use at all) kept finding me on the floor from mixing methaqualone, Xanax and fentanyl. She knew I was breathing, but as patient as she is with me at times, she was really becoming pissed.
When I tried to stop this time (and by stop, I mean switch to oxymorphone, oxycodone, morphine, methadone, hydrocodone and sometimes heroin--kind of like the vowels: a,e,i,o,u and sometimes y) I had the most intense suicidal depression I have had in my life. No matter how much and which of the typical opiates I used, I could not make the depression stop. It went on for 3 weeks until I finally decided I had to do some more fentanyl. I did a 40 mg shot of stuff I snagged from my lab (as that is all I could cover) and wow, the depression lifted immediately. It was amazing. But I knew I had to wait this damn thing out. It took about 3 more weeks before I began to feel better and this is with all the opiates, benzos, and methaqualone I could do, plus some occasional amphetamine and methamphetamine (pharmaceutical doses like 30-40 mgs po), which did help a little. But the 3 weeks of waiting was hell. I was not sure if I was going to survive and I kept thinking about how large of a shot of pentobarbital it would take to ensure my demise. But the depression finally lifted.
As far as the possibility of dying from strong propionanilide withdrawals, I would say the chances are slim. People survive precipitated withdrawals all the time from Narcan and that is as bad as it gets (except for longer acting antagonists like naltrexone. Even though you may wish you were dead, they will get better. I suspect that my depression may not have been as severe if I had not been taking other drugs as well, but even when I have a few day run on these type of drugs there is always rebound depression.
I think the only possibility of dying is related to excessive dehydration due to vomiting and diarrhea, not from the withdrawal itself. There have been a handful of true opiate withdrawal deaths in older, feeble patients, but in younger people without serious medical problems, I have not heard of one. Keep hydrated if you can and remember that the shorter acting the drug, the quicker the withdrawals are over (although the more intense they are.) I suggest some skeletal muscle relaxants( carisoprodol and, Skelaxin [metaxalone} or Zanaflex [tizanidine}) for cramping, Xanax for anxiety, dextromethorphan for toning down some of the glutametergic (NMDA) excitatory effects, Zofran ODT (ondansetron ) for nausea and a small amount of Requip (ropinirole) to relieve that feeling of not being able to sit still. If you cannot get benzos, you may try antihistamines to help with sleep
Good luck, you're going to need it. But the worst should be over soon.
MobiusDick