In order to work through this we need to identify and accept our morals and values. By morals I mean how do YOU need to act for YOU. By values I just mean what do YOU value. This ends up coming down to identifying and accepting the correct way for YOU to behave based of what YOU believe and finding what YOU value. The answers to these questions can be found by searching your heart for these answers and then realizing that only you know how you need to act and whats important to you. Its not what your parents said, what your religion says, what your teachers said was the correct way to behave and what was important and good. Your own morals and values can be similar or contain aspects of all these sources, but they really come from a deep place in you. You will need to identify how YOU need to act and what YOU value. Then you will need to accept these as the absolute correct way you need to behave and the values that you want and need to strive for, search out and promote in your life.
When loose of fail to develop our morals and values we end up placing the morals and values of others over our own. This causes us to place the opinions of others above our own. Because of this we experience social anxiety, shyness, feeling we are constantly being judged, awkwardness, trouble moving fluidly or conversing well with people especially strangers and people we really respect.
The reason for all this is that since we have placed what other people think above what we think is we now need their approval and acceptance to tell us we are behaving correctly and we determine if what we value has value based on if others value it or not. So the reason we are shy and worry about talking or engaging with others is that we dont know if they will approve of the way we act or who we are. We can be hesitant to tell other people about what we do or what we love as we are not sure what they will think of it.
This can make relationships very difficult because we can have a very hard time approaching people as if they would reject us, then since we determine our value of what they think we would feal that we are rejects. Also since we base our worth and determine the value of the life we are living of the opinions of others we can require and seek out constant praise and be utterly devastated by any forum or criticism. The criticism can be absolutely devastating especially if its from someone we respect or admire.
The reason strangers can be so difficult for us to deal with is we don't know if they will like or approve of us. We need them to approve of us so we can approve of ourselves.
The reason movements and interaction can be so hard and awkward and feel that all eyes are on us and every word and movement is being judged is because we are judging our every movement and word on the reaction of other people. This is why picking out something to ware to a social event can be so nerve racking, because instead of picking something we like, we try and ware something we think the people there will like.
So what you need to do is determine what is the corect way for YOU to act for YOU and accept this as the right way for YOU to act.
You also need to identify and determine what YOU value.
When we identify the correct way for us to act and act this way then we no longer need the approval of others to indicate we are behaving in the correct way. If we no longer need the approval of others what they think or say about the way we behave looses all power and just becomes what it was all along, their opinion. We are no longer shy as we dont really care what the fuck they think. When we identify and cultivate whats important to us then we no longer care what other people think or say about what we know is important to us. Their opinions no longer have any power over us. The thought of other people no liking us or not thinking what we think is cool is cool no longer causes us any anxiety.
Follow your heart it knows who you are, how you need to act, whats important to you, where you need to go. Fuck what other people think and say. Everybodys always spouting off that they know exactly whats important and how we should act... thats nonsense, they don't even know who we are, where we need to go, or how we need to get there.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
