Opiates help..

I would like to say that I am not addicted but I would probably be kidding with myself. I have a gf, I do alot of things, I function just fine. BUT my skeleton in the closet is every other week or so I like to cold water extract me 100-180mg or oxy or hydro whichever I can get a hold of. Iv been on them for a while for tail bone surgery and have also been on them in the past for having a tooth surgically removed.. Opiate bug bites you pretty hard even when just taking normal doses.

I do feel like I can quit, but it just seems like I like to have a "fun relaxing warm night" once ever other week or so. being that im safe from APAP because of cold water extractions I know that im not blowing my liver out.. But it gets privey, I can't really put my finger on what to do. DO I HAVE A BIGGER PROBLEM THEN I THINK? I know that hitting the "bottom" just depends on how much you want to dig but what and how is the best way to get off these while feeling like you can still have that "fun"

For me, I can never go back to "having fun." I tried and failed miserably.

What do you mean? What have you taken?

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My question is, do you spend a lot of time in between your fun relaxing nights thinking about when you can have another fun relaxing night? I could tell I was getting into trouble when I started constantly thinking about when I could use again.

I've done all sorts of pills, heroin, opium and than that's just opiates. I have been in an out of jail because of my addiction to heroin. I have tried to just do a little, just once and maybe some pills won't hurt. All of those ways failed. I go to meetings now because I got tired of trying to stay clean on my own and failing. I was told that once I start trying to do a little, I will in fact just pick up where I left off.

This is just my experience though. You might be different. Not everyone is an addict that uses drugs but every addict uses drugs or something like that. Bad clache.

My advice is to try quitting for 6 months. If you can quit and not think about it constantly then you probably aren't an addict. Lots of people like to get high occasionally, its a normal part of the human condition imo. If you find that you can't quit then maybe consider some sort of treatment or program. Consider yourself lucky that you are addressing this now before it potentially ruins your life... Good luck!

Respect opiates...it can very easily make you it's bitch so to say.

Thank you all so much for your replies, This is how I feel to sum it all up, I can quit but I don't see a reason why I should. As I have read opiates in pill form really are not that bad for if without any other things like Tylenol etc.. ATLEAST not bad to the point where its kinda like Tylenol where if you take x amount of mg's your gonna do damage or die etc.. Anyways beside the fact that atleast i dont think its that bad for you i just have not given my self some solid reason to stop.. how should I feel about that? and maybe correct me if im wrong is hydro/oxy bad for any specific organ (other than the fact that its addictive) ?

I don't believe oxy/hydro are bad for you in the same way as Tylenol is bad for you. I'd say as long as you cwe, watch your intake ( so you don't OD) then you're playing it as safe as it gets. BUT.... That opiate bug can sneak up on you. Now, like mehm said, if you can quit for a while and you don't have obsessive thinking about it, you may be very LUCKY and have what most recovered junkies would give their left foot for, the ability to get high once a week and not end up, as Dr science said, as your DOC's bitch. I've known a few people like that, they are cool with recreational use and it never goes beyond that. But... At a once a week use that you describe, I feel like its playing with fire. More than likely it's gonna burn you. But that's putting my feelings into it. I really could never pull that off but I have a tangled history with opiates. I think the most important thing is that you are being honest with yourself and be honest enough to put the breaks on if you feel it getting out of hand. I'd never want to see anybody give them self an problem like active addiction. It really is hell on earth, man. All this beautiful feelings you have while high, quickly turn in to the most depraved, desperate, negative experience of a life you've ever had to live through. So take heed and take care, man.

luckygirl79 said:

I don't believe oxy/hydro are bad for you in the same way as Tylenol is bad for you. I'd say as long as you cwe, watch your intake ( so you don't OD) then you're playing it as safe as it gets. BUT.... That opiate bug can sneak up on you. Now, like mehm said, if you can quit for a while and you don't have obsessive thinking about it, you may be very LUCKY and have what most recovered junkies would give their left foot for, the ability to get high once a week and not end up, as Dr science said, as your DOC's bitch. I've known a few people like that, they are cool with recreational use and it never goes beyond that. But... At a once a week use that you describe, I feel like its playing with fire. More than likely it's gonna burn you. But that's putting my feelings into it. I really could never pull that off but I have a tangled history with opiates. I think the most important thing is that you are being honest with yourself and be honest enough to put the breaks on if you feel it getting out of hand. I'd never want to see anybody give them self an problem like active addiction. It really is hell on earth, man. All this beautiful feelings you have while high, quickly turn in to the most depraved, desperate, negative experience of a life you've ever had to live through. So take heed and take care, man.

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That's great advice! I really appreciate it.

Anytime.

oxy ruined my ability to control my use of any substance, pretty soon after using 10 years ago. Went from a 20mg to relax on a Saturday, to usin 40-80mg most days of the week, driving 6 hours to buy, stealing cash from work...

Hadn't touched them since 2005; recently my buddy mentions he can get some.
I rushed over there, been using just about every day since, at a time when I've been trying hard to get totally clean & sober thanks to a new job and a lot of responsibilities i'd been ignoring for far too long.

Hello addiction, goodbye bank account

SilverFeniks said:

oxy ruined my ability to control my use of any substance, pretty soon after using 10 years ago. Went from a 20mg to relax on a Saturday, to usin 40-80mg most days of the week, driving 6 hours to buy, stealing cash from work...

Hadn't touched them since 2005; recently my buddy mentions he can get some.
I rushed over there, been using just about every day since, at a time when I've been trying hard to get totally clean & sober thanks to a new job and a lot of responsibilities i'd been ignoring for far too long.

Hello addiction, goodbye bank account

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One thing I can tell you is, You need to cut your self from any possible connections. You will go crazy searching but if you never find I think one day you will finally mellow out..

FastCar, are you going to try to stay sober for 6 months to find out if you are a true addict?

The problem with using even occasionally is that if something negative happens in your life then you may turn to using even more to deal with it. I had a girlfriend and stopped using when I was with her, but once we broke up I didn't handle it well in terms of getting closure so I turned back to opiates to deal with it and things got out of hand. If I hadn't been using occasionally then I likely wouldn't have turned to them to deal with the breakup like I did.

FastRaceCarGuy said:

One thing I can tell you is, You need to cut your self from any possible connections. You will go crazy searching but if you never find I think one day you will finally mellow out..

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Yeah, its damn near impossible for me to meet/make new friends, and hence long-term drug connects, the only thing that has kept me from going off the deep end in life.
Only time I used opiates since moving 1200 miles away 7.5 years back was when some random dude on the street offered me some hydros.
Current bout probably won't last long, as my good buddy who has been graciously hooking me up can hardly be considered a friend, seeing as how I blow off all my social contacts in favor of a drugged solitary existence.

Had a dream about using heroin the other nite (never had that opportunity...)
Its around in my city, hopefully I'll never cross paths...

I can't imagine how hard addiction must be to beat for those who began/still using opiates for legitimate pain.

look,for a "relaxing"time,do something else.for real.
you heard it here first.
opiates will,in time,make your life miserable.it's all true.

I started taking weak opiates as prescribed for a mild shoulder injury when seventeen. I liked the way two felt, so I took four, then eight. Then I learnt to CWE. Then I learnt about all different kinds of opiates, and when they presented themselves I took them as if I was collecting butterflies. Somewhere along the line I acquired a secret daily habit . When this happens, no matter how highly you function otherwise, your day will still revolve around getting your dose - and you'll love it because it's your secret. Something in your wording about your skeleton in the closet resonates with me. After this, whether it takes weeks or years (as it did for me) it's still only a matter of time before you'll be lying to the people you love, maybe even stealing from them.
You say every other week you CWE, I'm assuming that your taking your meds as prescribed otherwise every day? That's exactly how I started. The fact that you posted in this forum tells me you know you like being loaded a little too much and it also tells me you might just be pro-active enough to knock it on the head before it gets out of hand. Or not. I knew I was in love with the poppy at twenty, and I didn't give a fuck. I loved it. The only advice I'd give you is to confide in someone who would tell you when your shit stinks anyway, and to be honest with yourself about your usage - maybe even keep a record in your diary. Then ask yourself honestly why you like getting high - what does it do for you. If you are one of the tiny tiny number who can use opiates at their own discretion, then all the fucking power in the world to you, but I wouldn't bet on it mate.

I would like to say that I am not addicted but I would probably be kidding with myself. I have a gf, I do alot of things, I function just fine.

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I think your answer is in your first sentence. I have functioned just fine for ten years. How proud we are "fooling" the rest of the world, when we are really fooling ourselves.