(Nitrous Oxide) - Experienced - Life Changing Problems

Thank you for a fantastic write up.

I wish you the best with the rest of your life - I hope you find relief.

My experiences with nitrious
I always used the whipped cream dispensers, instead of balloons. They're much easier to re-load in between huffs, and I tend to let go of the next balloon while inhaling. I always kept the cracker on hand for guests, though.
Me and my wife's ritual was to get a case of nitrious (12 boxes of 24 chargers) It was around 100 w/ free shipping, so good deal. Then we'd each do about 2 or 3 E pills.
We would each usually do about 3 or 4 chargers in a row (until we each got our own dispenser) with no breaths in between, just nitrious. Then we would give each other blood chokes, or "head rushes" as we called them. Where you press on the arteries on your neck and restrict the flow of blood to your brain. In the background, was usually some trippy music with winamp visualizations. And this would go on all night. Usually, we would have to redose on the E after about 6 ours though.
The combination of the E, nitrous, and "head rushes" was just great. Best combo of anything I've ever done (2nd place is dope + K). I love "head rushes" I must say if you've never done them, you're missing out. It's a free high that potentiates any drug.
I did find that after about 4 or 5 chargers I had to take a break cause my head would start to ache. Not my wife though. She could sit there for hours and never stop. One time when the case arrived, she sat there all day doing them. I asked her on my way home how much was left, and she said "some". So , I get home and there's 2 boxes left. She sat there and did 240 chargers all by herself that afternoon.
I got so spoiled that the first time I did heroin, I was expecting a feeling as good as that, and was SO let down. Not that I let that stop me from getting hooked, but that's a different story.

head rushes and holding your breath for 4 chargers is borderline retarded, you'll give yourself brain damage, or die.

^Well aware. I definately brained my damage over the years. However, at the time, I really didn't expect to live past 27. Now that I have, I don't expect to live past 35. Guess I'll see. I've been doing headrushes non-stop for about 10 years, and I usually spend at least an hour a day on them. I get bad with them too, to the point of seizures sometimes. I usually stop when that happens though.

**After 3 chargers, I usually took a breath or two. But, I when I inhale the nitrious, I breathe a little air in with it too. Otherwise, I would just passout. i haven't done nitrious in a while though.
Also I didn't post so people would repeat my experience.

lazylazyjoe said:

... brained my damage over the years.

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Just giving you a hard time - I thought that particular typo was kinda funny

he did it on purpose

^Yep. Actually I was referencing a scene from Simpsons, when Homer eats the insanity peppers. I like to sprinkle in a little cartoon culture whenever I can.

didn't he say something along the lines of "brain damagamagamagamage" or am I thinking of a different episode?

^Yes, different episode. That was where SprawlMart put in a brain implant and he took it out.
I must have some brain left if I still remember all these useless simpsons quotes.

ahhh yes... gotta love the simpsons. I stopped watching it though after like 2008 or so.

After three and a half years - and having written the original post that started this thread - and had all sorts of people interested in the nature of the experience I call GasCid- yesterday I stumbled across some genuine Nitrous. For 3.5 years there has only been some sub standard No2 in whippets that mostly made me feel sick and left me frustrated. I was wondering if Gascid was something that I would only ever reminisce about.

I am happy to say that this is not the case - and I think it's time for me to dig up all my old technology and hypnosis gear and lighting systems.

I have found my rocket fuel again...

I need to build myself another Space/Time Ship.

I'm going home.

Should I keep a diary?

Or would anybody like to come long for the journey...?



the
very
merry
prankster....

Careful there tmp... don't overdo it.

hoopyfrood said:

Careful there tmp... don't overdo it.

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LOL - thanks for the concern - but this is one that I can truly say - "Been there - done that!". And never again. It's just nice to know that it exists again. One of the things about the whole Nitrous realm is that you simply *can't* remember it all - and after years it fades even further. What I really enjoyed - while testing just a moderate amount to see if it was the real deal - was just how much it just all comes flooding back - like continuing a dream that you've been having every night - only in the waking world, you barely even remember that you've been dreaming.

I have felt for a long time, that memory is more than engrams - but it more of a chemical reaction. In order to remember something, you don't so much 'retrieve' it from a long term memory storage room - but more like you subconsciously create a minor chemical reaction in your brain - and that reaction causes the memory to recur - in some cases in perfect detail.

I don't know how on the mark this theory of mine is - but it seems logical - and more so when applying the thought to the Nitrous Experience - a situation in which you actually *are* creating a chemical reaction of a predictable nature in your brain - and are then subsequently remembering a very specific set of memories.

The good news for me - at the purely subjective level is that it is very reassuring to know that I actually still *do* remember all this stuff - years and years of complex thought - all there and perfectly intact (but curiously, remembering everything from a different 'direction' for want of a better word. It was kid of like remembering stuff through someone else's thoughts.

But I do intend to pull my brain out of mothballs, and will absolutely be doing some touring of the universe again- but I'll probably wait till summer I guess kudos to me - as I realized that I had actually accepted that I may never again experience this thing that was once the most important thing in the universe to me - and have found to my delight that this is not the case. Now I have to track down some good acid - which is probably going to prove even harder as it appears that no-one is making it anymore. Jeez - where'd all the hippies go?

)

tmp

TheMerryPrankster said:

The good news for me - at the purely subjective level is that it is very reassuring to know that I actually still *do* remember all this stuff - years and years of complex thought - all there and perfectly intact (but curiously, remembering everything from a different 'direction' for want of a better word. It was kid of like remembering stuff through someone else's thoughts.

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You remember the delusions that made you give yourself brain damage and almost suffocate yourself on a regular basis? What the hell man, it is just crap, there is nothing there, you are just deluding yourself that there is.

Seriously, you'll end up even worse off.

damn man, i am never doing nitrous again. good ol MJ for me.

TheMerryPrankster said:

Jeez - where'd all the hippies go?

)

tmp

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There's a grassy hill just for hippies in San Francisco, and on a sunny day... well, you get the idea.

Psychedelic Quicksand for the Mind

TheMerryPrankster said:

Or would anybody like to come long for the journey...?

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I wouldn't mind coming along for the journey! I just read your post today.

I am really sorry about what happened to you. I have taken a senior level pharmacology course a year or two ago, and I can assure you nothing like this (the brain damage from prolonged nitrous oxide abuse) was ever mentioned to me.

Your post about your experiences is most certainly an asset, it most certainly will help others in the long run.

I have only had a few nitrous oxide experiences. I even have a jar of whip-its, I just don't have any use for them. I don't like nitrous oxide on its own, and most of the time even if I was on other psychedelics I don't have a cracker (I borrowed a friend's until they lost it).

What I can tell is you are a very strong person to have come this far. The thing that gets to me the most is you just wanted to share what you had discovered in life with anyone willing to listen, and it seemed no one believed you. Even if they didn't want to take it to the same level as you did, it didn't seem anyone, a therapist/psychiatrist, your wife, your friends, anyone actually believed you. I certainly do.

In your original post you describe your rebirth on LSD. I know what it is like to not know what universe you're in, or what your name is. I know what it's like to be unable to communicate with the outside world, as much as you are *dying* to share what's going on in your head. A while ago (maybe... 2-3 years ago) I ingested 5 grams of all caps of mushrooms. For the record so the rest of this paragraph makes sense, I had my best friend over, and we had another friend come over near the peak. It was the most intense mushroom experience I ever had, I was not ready nor prepared for what was going to happen. Throughout the 12 hour long experience I had no idea what the peak had in store for me. The peak lasted about 4 hours. When I started peaking, I began having problems talking to other people. Then it was *impossible*. I was on my computer, and my friend noticed I started typing gibberish into notepad (I thought I was writing down very important information to be analyzed later). This is what some of it looked like.

i am the the though it and are when why and it

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Basically a lot of short words without any meaning (for a sober person )

Shortly after, I stopped typing...I had this "feeling" that trying to 'record' or store any data from the experience would be a waste of my time. I also vividly remember my friend who was looking at me straight in the face said "dude you are OK - you just ate mushrooms, you'll be OK" and none of that made *any* sense to me. I don't remember having eaten mushrooms, nor did I remember what the experience of mushrooms was like (a regular 3.5g trip is nothing like the top level of mushrooms)...nor did I even know exactly who was telling me this! At this point, the second friend (not my best friend) left. She could tell we were both tripping hard. By the way, later, I found out this girl was a sociopath so I am *glad* she left. At the time she was just a friend.

My best friend only ate 1.75 g, and he was tripping hard like he ate a whole 3.5g. We actually had experienced the same visuals - we saw faces (which we identically described) in the floorboards of my apartment.

I started crying...it was so frustrating not to be able to communicate this very dear experience I was having. I was also a little afraid I'd never come out of it (the distinct feeling you'll never return to sober reality is apparent within every intense mushroom experience I have ever had).

Then I had the feeling that I just had to wait it out, there was no other way. Psychedelic quick sand for the mind, if you will. Struggling/trying to do anything just made it worse.

So what I managed to do was to stand up, and stagger over to my sofa, and laid down on it. I didn't move for four hours. The friend I had over at my apartment left to go get a 12 pack of beer (for himself mostly, I didn't like and still despise alcohol). During this peak, I knew who I was in "some sense" (definitely not my name at all), and I had a vague sense of other people in terms of an archetype.

I imagined myself and other people as interconnected stars in a universe. We all had "male" or "female" archetypes, and my two friends I had over were alpha male and females of a society/generation. This is all I could tell of it though. When I thought of myself, I wasn't connected to anyone, whereas all the other 'stars' I saw had at least one line connecting them to another star. The immense loneliness I experienced was painful but beautiful too. This I can tell now, meant I needed a partner (I am now deeply in love and engaged, my fiancee and I love each other very much).

The way my two friends acted (before each of them left) - I remembered, and this made me think of the structure of words, and their body language. I could tell a lot about their communications without knowing exactly what these "words" they were saying actually meant.

Throughout the peak, I had a lot of thoughts that have helped form me for who I am today. I know a lot more about myself. There were many visuals, even some tactile and audial hallucinations.

Then, suddenly, as if it had all passed by within a second, I looked down at my watch. It was four hours later. My friend came back! (I don't know when, I just looked up and there he was). I didn't even know he had left!!! He left my front door unlocked (I lived in a very sketchy building, I am glad no one came in! lol), anyways, he had bought some tobacco products and had the 12 pack of beer. It was like magic, and he had pulled these items out of his own asshole. I thought, are these real? I was still so tripped out I didn't fully remember my name, or what I was doing laying on my sofa or anything. He handed me a beer and I sipped. GROSS. Yeah it wasn't just *any* beer, it was Natural Ice. The gross ass taste of cheap beer all of the sudden helped me *immensely* in terms of coming back to reality.

I was still very skeptical I was "back". However I was able to say some words, and I began to touch on the surface of how intense of a psychedelic journey I just went on to my friend. I was still blown away by all of it.

I informed my friend I was going to go have a shower. When I got in the shower, I noticed there were three knobs. I forgot which one turned on the shower head, and which two were for hot and cold. So I got a face full of cold water before I remembered. Looking back on this makes me smile now.

Anyways by the time I got out of the shower, I felt a lot more intact mentally speaking. I was still tripping rather hard but was able to move about AND talk, so I decided I should just spend the rest of the trip bringing me back down to reality.

I don't remember much else about this experience, except for hanging out with my friend and his girlfriend some more.

I haven't written up this TR in Trip Reports yet, mostly because it was too long ago, and I don't think it would add much to the forum.

In the context of your report though, I know what it's like to get to a place where you have no idea where or what or whom you are, and it is not the most pleasant experience.

I have done a lot of thinking about "ego death", psychedelic rebirth, out of body and near death experiences. Despite all of this, it wasn't the most intense psychedelic experience I have had in my whole life. Just the 2nd.

I count "most intense exp" mostly on how much visuals were there, and how much of reality was left behind (visually speaking). During an intense peak, mushrooms have a way of making you paranoid or scared that you either don't exist/never did, or that you'll never leave the experience/return to sobriety. I have also had *much worse* thoughts on future mushroom experiences that I won't begin to go into, as they would only probably terrify other people.

However the absolute most psychedelic experience I had was IV MDA. It was a lot like an abrupt peak of this previous mushroom experience I just went over, except there was no delirium, no forgetting who I was. It was absolutely beautiful. As soon as I injected, I felt a sharp come up, a lot like IVing ketamine, cocaine, heroin, etc. The visual load began so quickly, that I don't see how my fiancee was able to help me with my shot after she did hers. I immediately began having my blood pressure and heart rate race so quickly I was afraid I would have a heart attack.

I also vomited as quickly as the visuals came on. As soon as I was done vomiting, the peak of the experience began. I saw the most interesting visuals in the vomit which quickly accelerated. I could tell I was coming up *very* quickly, each second that passed by became much more intense than the last.

I saw only visuals, everything in reality slowly disappeared. Nothing was left.

Then, a tunnel. I was being pulled inside the vortex, the visuals started moving quicker and then I found myself on the other side.

I met God, he showed me heaven and hell. I saw the infinite karma, and that everyone had an afterlife, whether it was better or worse than their previous life. I was very, very skeptical of there ever being a god. I'm not typically the "religious" type, so I am very "convinced", if you will, that at least for my life, god does exist. I don't tell many people "there is a god" though, it's for them to find out for their own lives. Me telling them what exists for their own life is not productive in producing their own beliefs.

This experience didn't last longer than 20-30 minutes. The peak was so beautiful I will never forget it. I was so happy, I could talk to my fiancee though I *certainly* could not see her, and I knew I was going to be OK the whole time.

What's weird is my fiancee essentially had the same experience as I did, except I think it hit me *a lot* harder as I am sensitive not only to psychedelics but uppers as well.

I shared with you my experiences because I thought they may help you understand your LSD experience (the one where you didn't know who you were) a little more.

I could go on and on all day about other mushroom or LSD experiences I have had, and the terrifying things I have thought while on them, but what I have shared with you I will sum up.

IV MDA taught me one thing (other than there is a god and he will sort out all of this at the end) - love is the most important thing in life. IV MDA infused my life with love that wasn't there before. I now have a deep, profound love for myself, for the world, for life that I previously lacked, that most people will never have in life. I feel in debt to god himself for showing me the way in life.

b4rd said:

damn man, i am never doing nitrous again. good ol MJ for me.

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Yeah - good old MJ - perfect environment in which to add Nitrous...

lol

Just kidding around. MJ rules for sure. I'm just glad that I once again have the option to 'travel' again.


tmp

That was quite a report captain heroin. I enjoyed reading that


... your other experiences do interest me, too. I'd be keen to hear some.

Captain.Heroin said:

I feel in debt to god himself for showing me the way in life.

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You mean the drugs? Haha just stirring.

Pretty wild report dude!