Your experience with dating a stripper

[shahab6]

I been dating a stripper for a bout 5 months now, but now her job is kind of bothering me as time is going by, but overall shes a very sweet girl. Your experience and tips.

 

[VerbalTruist]

In the long term I got way jealous. I went to watch her work one night and lost my shit. If you can handle the jealousy that comes with dating and being in a relationship with a stripper kudos. Also, her lifestyle was unhealthy as fucking anything I've ever witnessed. Really I don't know the girl, maybe she's working her way through school or something.

However, for me my life got crazy enough in a month that I packed my shit in the middle of the night while she was working and left a note in order to avoid potential violence or scenes.

 

[mostly-human]

I dated a stripper for a year.. Generally it didn't bother me that much, but there were some nights, when I was feeling really down/depressed and just wanted to be with her and I knew she was out, trashed in a sleazy bar taking her clothes off for other guys. Wasn't the best and I wouldn't really recommend it.

In fact - I'm a lot more emotionally stable now, than I was then and to be honest, I probably wouldn't date a stripper now (well, I have a loving wife now actually). But yeah - to be honest, I guess when I was younger I kind of got-off on harmful, masochistic relationships.u

There's nothing wrong with being a stripper, but it's not really relationship-appropriate. I'm not a jealous type, but dating a stripper will bring it out in almost anyone.

Honestly - I think if someone really cares about their partner, after a certain amount of time in a relationship, I think they would drop the work to better the relationship.. Maybe after 6 months or so, it would be reasonable to say that if they're really serious about the relationship, maybe they'd be willing to admit the line of work is not really conducive to a healthy relationship.

 

[mostly-human]

However, for me my life got crazy enough in a month

Yep.. Oh man, yes. So crazy, never seen so much drama, police, etc. incidentally - the girl I dated is dead now, in some bizarre/suspicious circumstances (turned up dead, half-naked in an alley-way).

 

[llama112]

It depends on the person. Yeah, some strippers are crazy. But some aren't. Some are really down to earth.

You've got to get over your jealousy if you like the girl. She shouldn't be expected to change her job just for a guy. It's how she makes money. She should be able to keep making money, that is important!!

 

[mostly-human]

She shouldn't be expected to change her job just for a guy. It's how she makes money. She should be able to keep making money, that is important!!

Have you ever actually dated a stripper? Or just offering your useful advise?


I think it's perfectly reasonable / rational to expect somebody to change their job for the betterment of a relationship. I certainly would - if I were serious about the relationship/person.

 

[Teabag Johnny]

You have to remember you started dating the girl as a stripper, and you guys only been together for 5 months. It would be a big commitment on her part to quit her occupation to satisfy your desires. What if she quits her job, and you dumb her two months down the road for another chick? If you're really into the girl, I would let it ride for a little while longer.

I think now is the time to start communicating, but I wouldn't hassle her about her occupation. You could ask her about her future goals. Where do you see yourself in one year? How do you feel about me? Maybe stripping is something she wants to get out of in the next year or two. Is she going to school? Being too controlling or demanding early on could drive a good woman away.

I think communication is the key and you should support her decisions now.

 

[shahab6]

Have you ever actually dated a stripper? Or just offering your useful advise?


I think it's perfectly reasonable / rational to expect somebody to change their job for the betterment of a relationship. I certainly would - if I were serious about the relationship/person.

She told me she did it once for a guy, and she really regards it.

 

[shahab6]

You have to remember you started dating the girl as a stripper, and you guys only been together for 5 months. It would be a big commitment on her part to quit her occupation to satisfy your desires. What if she quits her job, and you dumb her two months down the road for another chick? If you're really into the girl, I would let it ride for a little while longer.
.

Yea your right, thats what I told her,after she wanted me to stop talking to one of my female friends.

 

[mostly-human]

You have to remember you started dating the girl as a stripper, and you guys only been together for 5 months. It would be a big commitment on her part to quit her occupation to satisfy your desires. What if she quits her job, and you dumb her two months down the road for another chick? If you're really into the girl, I would let it ride for a little while longer.

I think now is the time to start communicating, but I wouldn't hassle her about her occupation. You could ask her about her future goals. Where do you see yourself in one year? How do you feel about me? Maybe stripping is something she wants to get out of in the next year or two. Is she going to school? Being too controlling or demanding early on could drive a good woman away.

I think communication is the key and you should support her decisions now.

This is good advice. Just remember - relationships are two-way, if you don't (ultimately) get what you want from your relationship as well, you'll end up resenting/hating her.

 

[What 23]

Fell for a girl who I found out was a stripper after meeting her. I can't deny that was part of why, I think, nothing happened as far as a relationship. It pretty much ended as soon as she went back to work. She went from being motivated to contact me, wanting me to stay with her, to refusing any contact. It was a complicated situation. I wish at the time I was making enough to tell her to quit, when she said she didn't want to go back.

 

[llama112]

Have you ever actually dated a stripper? Or just offering your useful advise?


I think it's perfectly reasonable / rational to expect somebody to change their job for the betterment of a relationship. I certainly would - if I were serious about the relationship/person.

No, I have never dated a stripper.
However, I do adult modelling. You know, getting naked in front of the camera and stuff like that. If my boyfriend told me what to do in regards to my job, that would be the end of my relationship. However, he's cool with it, and has been for the almost five years we've been together.

No, I don't think anyone should tell anyone they can't have a certain job just for a relationship.

If you're that jealous and insecure, you shouldn't be dating someone in this line of work then. So find someone else.

 

[llama112]

You have to remember you started dating the girl as a stripper, and you guys only been together for 5 months. It would be a big commitment on her part to quit her occupation to satisfy your desires. What if she quits her job, and you dumb her two months down the road for another chick? If you're really into the girl, I would let it ride for a little while longer.

I think now is the time to start communicating, but I wouldn't hassle her about her occupation. You could ask her about her future goals. Where do you see yourself in one year? How do you feel about me? Maybe stripping is something she wants to get out of in the next year or two. Is she going to school? Being too controlling or demanding early on could drive a good woman away.

I think communication is the key and you should support her decisions now.

What if she wants to strip for the rest of her life? You can't just tell someone what to do in a relationship.
Although yes, the first point. You've been together five months. A five month relationship, quitting a job for him? Not if you want to keep your independence. Just to satisfy some random guy's desires.

 

[mostly-human]

However, I do adult modelling.

Not even in the same ball park.. Just to clarify, the girl I was dating was often performing sexual acts as well as stripping and all kinds of other shit on the side.. Later in life she told me just how often she was actually 'hooking', it was far more than I ever suspected.

I never told her to quit her job or anything like that, but honestly - when the person you love is out every other night, performing sexual acts on strangers and what not, it eats away at you. I'm really not a jealous type, but it still hurts, at 3am when you've had a shit day and you want to cuddle up with your loved one and you know they're out in some seedy club, giving that comfort you desperately need to someone else.

I'm not saying all strippers perform sex acts in the back room and what have you, but far more do than most people realise. Every single stripper I have met actually, has admitted to doing it at least once, but usually quite frequently.

Honestly - it's not healthy for most peoples relationships, some people sure - would never ever be bothered, but most would to some degree.

I'd never condone telling someone else they need to quit their job, but I think it's up to that person at some stage to prioritise their relationship over their work.. I'd say that about ANY kind of work, that interfered with a loving relationship, not just sex work, but any work.

That's me anyway - I think a serious relationship / family is worth far more than a job or even a career. And what I would find upsetting, is that if after a year of working in an industry that is actively making the partner subject to distressing emotions, if that doesn't bother the person working in the industry, then I wouldn't want to date them, because I'd think their priorities were wrong.

 

[Teabag Johnny]

What if she wants to strip for the rest of her life? You can't just tell someone what to do in a relationship.
Although yes, the first point. You've been together five months. A five month relationship, quitting a job for him? Not if you want to keep your independence. Just to satisfy some random guy's desires.

I would be an advocate about the OP communicating to the his girlfriend about her future goals since it's a concern to him, but I wouldn't hassle her about quitting her job early on. If she wants to strip for the long term, then shahab6 can make his assessment.

He can support her decision and happily stay with her, or tell her he can tell her how he feels. If she was just planning to stay in the profession for the short term, he could easily let it ride.

I personally would not mind if my girlfriend was a stripper and continued with it if that's how it began. After all, you know what you're getting yourself into from the beginning if you date a stripper, so I see no reason to persuade her out of her occupation. I'm not a jealous guy either, but that's me. In the OP's case, its different. I would personally support her tough.

 

[llama112]

Not even in the same ball park.. Just to clarify, the girl I was dating was often performing sexual acts as well as stripping and all kinds of other shit on the side.. Later in life she told me just how often she was actually 'hooking', it was far more than I ever suspected.

I never told her to quit her job or anything like that, but honestly - when the person you love is out every other night, performing sexual acts on strangers and what not, it eats away at you. I'm really not a jealous type, but it still hurts, at 3am when you've had a shit day and you want to cuddle up with your loved one and you know they're out in some seedy club, giving that comfort you desperately need to someone else.

I'm not saying all strippers perform sex acts in the back room and what have you, but far more do than most people realise. Every single stripper I have met actually, has admitted to doing it at least once, but usually quite frequently.

Honestly - it's not healthy for most peoples relationships, some people sure - would never ever be bothered, but most would to some degree.

I'd never condone telling someone else they need to quit their job, but I think it's up to that person at some stage to prioritise their relationship over their work.. I'd say that about ANY kind of work, that interfered with a loving relationship, not just sex work, but any work.

That's me anyway - I think a serious relationship / family is worth far more than a job or even a career. And what I would find upsetting, is that if after a year of working in an industry that is actively making the partner subject to distressing emotions, if that doesn't bother the person working in the industry, then I wouldn't want to date them, because I'd think their priorities were wrong.

Well yeah, if someone is having sex with someone else, that's an issue.
However, stripping is not about having sex. It's STRIPPING.
Also, doing porn is the same field as stripping. Evenings and weekends are usually the best times for me to get clients so I *used to* (when that was my primary job) work all evening and weekends. So I'd be up til ridiculous hours doing whatever.

I'm well aware of the adult industry as I've been in it since I was 19 BUT not all strippers have sex or do blow jobs / hand jobs in the back or off site. Many are just strippers. They strip, they dance, they give lap dances. If your girlfriend is doing more then that'd be cheating. If she's just doing the stuff that strippers do, then the person she's dating needs to be a bit more secure. If she's dating YOU, she's dating you for a reason, she likes you. Don't get jealous for no reason. And understand that a job is a job.

I would be an advocate about the OP communicating to the his girlfriend about her future goals since it's a concern to him, but I wouldn't hassle her about quitting her job early on. If she wants to strip for the long term, then shahab6 can make his assessment.

Feel free to tell her you don't like it, yeah. But to tell her to stop? That just proves how insecure you are and she could probably do a lot better.

 

[Teabag Johnny]

I agree llama112.

 

[Corazon]

yea, "stripper" can be such a wide ranging category.

You can have strippers that are purely in for the money. You can have strippers that are purely in for substance abuse. Then you have the handlers.
Then you have varying individual limits of willingness that can range from: "dance naked" on up to full blown prostitution...

Then you have a bunch of different kinds of relationships that could form in terms of dating. You could be a couple that simply has chemistry and love that has absolutely no connections to each other's work. You could have a mutual substance. You could have an economic/power relationship of some sort.

there's a zillion variables.

Definitely if it's a relationship that you wish to be long-term it requires a strong woman who can handle herself in her environment, as there will be pressures and opportunities constantly presented.

 

[Mafioso]

personally I don't think I could handle it- I'd think I'd be too jealous, but I used to work with a guy who married a girl who used to be a stripper. I'm pretty sure they were dating when she was a stripper.

he had 3 kids and was the type of guy who probably got off on that lifestyle. it worked for him as far as I knew. He said it didn't bother him and she wasn't doing it after the kids.

 

[cmmmm]

Im currently dating a stripper for the last 7 months.... Not an easy task!

Like every men, I fell for a stripper... not only I played it right, by the book, but I even left my 12 years relationship for her. It was an instant connection, never got a dance from her. She left the guy she did'nt love 48h after we had meet. BUT!!!

As guys, we are what we are...

After a couple date and a trip together, we decided to move in together.
At first I was like "Ohhh no big deal! I have the girl everybody wants!" (because she is a hard 10/10)

The problem is not that.
GUYS!!! Its hard, REALLLLLLY HARD! to date a stripper. I would strongly say, think about it 10x before. Why??? Because at first its ok... you meet her there, you knew. Then you start to like her a lot... you ask "Would you consider stopping?" MISTAKE! She wont! she is independant, making a lot of money fast... why would she go back working for 5x less for 5x more work. So you accept it. Than you really love her... It kills you inside when you drop her at the club knowing that she will be the main event for a few guys that night, I live in Quebec, touching is allowed. After pulling your hairs all night, you go pick her up... she is tipsy and even drunk 90% of the time. She will receive numerous text even until 5am from her regular customer that she texted during the night asking them to come to see her. You become paranoid and extremely possessive...

Im still with my Princess... I love her with all my heart. You will have to go above and beyond anything you ever felt to accept it. You will have to endure and change what you believe in in order to make it work. We have our ups and downs like every couples. BUT at the end... she comes home every nights to me, loves me with all her heart (still hope, lol. You see the doubt always persist) and if she is the one for you, you will know.

If your ready for that... Its worth it!

Cheers