well...i ended back up in the ER yesterday. I was feeling awesome all day, then after i ate dinner i was relaxing watching tv and suddenly the sharpest pain ive ever felt suddenly appeared in my chest. it hit me so hard i could barely move. i was so fucking dizzy i thought i was gonna have a heart attack or stroke for sure. i went in to the ER for the 8th fucking time this month and the doc was bein a complete dick as usual and was like "havent you been here a few times recently for the same thing?" i was like "YES! AND IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE! I KEEP TELLING YOU SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY FUCKING WRONG!" he said "didnt we already take a cat scan of your chest? i'll go look at the file and then go from there..." and he was brushing me off like i was over exaggerating, then promptly came back apologizing saying "im so sorry! i thought we already ran these tests! ill get everything ordered!" then they started taking bloodwork, and shot me up wit iodine and gave me a cat scan. keep in mind i was at the ER for 10 hours and felt the debilitating sharp pain in my chest the ENTIRE fucking time and was so dizzy i couldnt even handle it. when the doc came back from looking at the catscan he had a somber look on his face and he sat down next to me and said "ok...i dont want you to worry about this..." my heart sank. shit...this isnt going to be good. "well we found you have several swollen lymph nodes in your chest. you also have a few calcium deposits formed on the left side of your lungs." he also said that i have costochondritis. he said that all of these were fairly common and tried reassuring me that they could be taken care of with no treatment. he basically just told me to take high doses of ibuprofen for pain, and to come back in if it gets worse, and to get a cat scan every few months to make sure it doesnt get worse than it already is in which case they might have to operate to remove them. im fucking terrified. im kinda scared because i've been snorting my suboxone for YEARS, and worry that the calcium deposits and/or the swollen lymph nodes could be because of it. i stopped snorting, but i fear the damage is already done. my primary doc also suggested i start physical therapy for my left arm/shoulder pain which im starting next week, but i have a feeling its connected to the costochondritis. what pisses me off more than anything is that it seriously took 8 fucking visits to the ER, INCLUDING 2 ambulance rides to figure this shit out. this just shows the outrageous incompetence of the doctors in the shitty small town i live in. like seriously wtf??? if something ever happens to me im going to fucking die because they dont have a god damn clue what theyre doing. im terrified. honestly i can tolerate the chest and arm pain most of the time, but this dizziness i've had has been out of control the past week. its so bad i can barely fucking walk. this cant be normal, and i dont know what to do. i constantly think im going to pass out and or have a stroke or heart attack, and the docs wont do shit for me unless im actually in the process of dying and i live alone so unfortunately i dont have the luxury of waiting until something happens or i'll die because i live alone and dont have a car. i know dizziness is a symptom of wd but its been 5 weeks now and the dizziness is worse than its ever been. it feels like my right eye cant keep up with my left eye at times, and i constantly feel like im spinning in circles. i do have otc meclizine which i know is supposed to help with dizziness, but im afraid to take it because according to the internet it has a SEVERE drug interaction with suboxone. it seems like anything that can remotely help my wd has a moderate to severe interaction wit subs. all i want to do is take meclizine, atarax, and diphenhydramine but im scared shitless to touch any of them. even if they dont harm me they all say possible effects with the interaction worsen the symptoms i want to take them for in the first place!!! i dont know wtf to do anymore. im a fucking wreck and ive literally only gotten 4 hours of sleep the past 3 days. and im so fucking paranoid now i have this irrational fear that one of these days im going to fall asleep and not wake up