demonapocalypse
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2021
- Messages
- 18
A few months ago I had the worst depressive episode of my life which was exacerbated by adderall/focalin withdrawal where I had no energy and anxiety that would cripple my ability to enjoy anything. It was probably the worst month/2 months of my life but thankfully when I went back to school (this was during break) I was really able to change my outlook on life and things ended up working out really great for me and now I have a few pretty good things going for me. But for some reason I usually have this nostalgic feeling towards how shitty I felt. I don’t miss feeling like that at all, I would think to myself every day that I would do anything to not feel the way I did, but for some reason I think of the period as very serene and sometimes feel like I want to be back in that situation.
Am I alone in feeling this way? I’ve had other instances where I’ve wanted to relive the worst/most traumatic time periods of my life despite being in a much better place and I still don’t entirely understand why. Maybe so that with the insight I gained I could “fix” myself quicker and show myself the situation wasn’t as traumatic as I made it out to be? I don’t really know.
Am I alone in feeling this way? I’ve had other instances where I’ve wanted to relive the worst/most traumatic time periods of my life despite being in a much better place and I still don’t entirely understand why. Maybe so that with the insight I gained I could “fix” myself quicker and show myself the situation wasn’t as traumatic as I made it out to be? I don’t really know.