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Why do guys say 1 thing and then another?

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stolemyheart87

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 6, 2016
Messages
68
Alright back in the summer from July to September, I dated this one guy for a whole month, we went on a handful of dates, had a great time together, but in the end he didn't want to date anymore because of personal issues revolving around himself and his life. So a few months past and in November him and I re-connected and have been talking since November. During the holidays Christmas and New Years time, he was visiting family out in Texas.

Today January 8th he returns home and this past week, on Wednesday January 4th around 3PM he messages me and we had the following conversation.


HIM: "Wanna see me Sunday afternoon?" (the day he comes home)


ME: "Sure".


Then on Saturday at 10PM he tells me


HIM: "So I fly home in 7 hours."


ME: "Cool hope you come home safe and sound."


HIM: "Next week maybe a date?"


ME: "Sure if you want too."


HIM: "Do you want to? You control the relationship."


HIM: "I'll go all in, but you're the one who says when I can."


ME: We aren't in a relationship yet, so that's one thing. And we haven't had our first date yet either, we tried twice but nothing happened."


HIM: "OK".


ME: "Ok".


HIM: "So I await your plan".


ME: "So we will be seeing each other this coming week, not tomorrow? So I know what's up and all that stuff."


HIM: "Saturday afternoon is always best for me".


BUT here's another thing we talked about previously yes he says Saturday afternoon's work best for him but he's told me before that he's always tired and drained by the time he leaves work and drives down to see me and isn't as energentic as he'd like to be. But yet he wants to date me and see me.


Also why would he go and say he wanted to come see me when he came back home and then he forget's about doing that and then switches us to seeing one another this week or weekend coming up.


I just don't get it. :( I feel really hurt, I was really hoping to see him today and yet he forgot unless MAYBE but highly doubtful he will show up surprising me but doubt it.
 
So I'm sorry your hurt, in reality though I know my wife sais something then will totally change her mind or switch what she said this is not sex specific it is personality specific if not generally common
 
Why not be honest?

HIM: "Wanna see me Sunday afternoon?" (the day he comes home)


ME: "Sure".


Then on Saturday at 10PM he tells me


HIM: "So I fly home in 7 hours."


ME: "Cool hope you come home safe and sound."


HIM: "Next week maybe a date?"

ME: "Sure if you want too."
Instead of, "I thought we were hanging out Sunday afternoon?"

It also sounds like you're not that interested. DO you want to see me? "Sure" instead of yes, I can't wait to see you! What did you want to do Sunday, I know you'll be tired from your flight.
 
But I am interested, I just don't want to sound over eager or something and scare him. Sure is the same thing as yes. And he suggested when he came back we would go on a date to that one food place, Dave and Busters and he was going to stop bye today in the afternoon but as I posted here, thats not happening.

So in any case its not a big deal to me anymore. It didn't happen oh well. Move on and we will try again.
 
Sure is definitely not the same thing as yes. Lol. When I read it, I read it as you're not interested.

Next time, just say yes. Make definite plans. Not this, "whatever you decide.. I'm fine with whatever... " And then he'll be like, up to you..
Lol.

Saturday? Ask him what time. What did you want to do? Eat, etc. Make plans, sound at least A LITTLE excited and it'll happen.
 
i know that i cant stay attracted to somebody that doesnt seem all that interested. over-eager is dropping the L word too fast or smothering, not being excited to see one another and spend time together.
 
Oh I give up. I like this guy a lot, I have been waiting a long time for us to go on a date and even when I say YES nothing happens.
 
you are not his priority.

its obvious

some people want to have someone on a line. that is you . he has you waiting on his decisions. doesn't feel good.

stop putting yourself under someone elses control
 
Oh. Well what should I do? I go and ask this guy out, and he just reads my messages and never says Yes lets go out on this day and time etc. Its annoying I want this guy to man up and want to go out with me. :(
 
Strong generalization. Pretty all humans who are dishonest do that.


Do you even logic?
 
When He Just Reads the Message and Doesn't Reply Back Means What?

I got an issue at hand here, regarding anxiety, depression, and my dating situation,


Last year from July through September, I dated 1 guy for 1 month, we went on 4 dates, then we cut ties in September and didn't talk or date anymore. A couple of months go by and he returns messaging me on Facebook in November, and since November through January of this year, him and I have been talking and have tried going out on a new date but nothing has happened. So I recently, went and told him this,


"Hey you and I have been talking since we re-connected this past November, about 2 months now, and both of us want to date one another and want it to develop into something more. We have tried going out a few times but nothing ever happened from those times. So I am asking you once more, are you interested in me, and do you want us to date? I know we have talked time and time again and we both want the same thing but we have yet to actually go out, I have asked you out but you aren't making any moves on it. So what am I to do, do you want to decide on the dates instead of me? What needs to be done in order for us to go out again? I do really like you, and I want us to go out, that's why I have asked you out those times before. I enjoyed the first time we went out last year and I want us to go out again. So what is it you would like for us to do, because I don't want to be wasting time, wondering on if we plan to go out or not. Let me know an honest and real answer here, that's all I ask."


Facebook tells me "SEEN/READ". Before I sent him that message, I had asked him out on a date 3 times and he again just "SEEN/READ" my messages. Not able to take a few seconds to reply to me. So with those dates being pushed aside, and this message being read but not responded too. Is this guy not interested in me. Or is his work time THAT busy of an extreme nature he can't take a few seconds to reply to me.


I just don't know what to do. I like this guy a lot, I enjoyed us going out months back, and I want us to go out again. He wants us to go out too, he wants us to date, he wants me to be his girlfriend he likes me that much. BUT he can't reply to any of my messages except "SEEN/READ" them. :(
 
It is because he doesn't want to or is busy.

I would chill out and stop holding my breath if I were you.

You had a brief fling and he fucked off? That should tell you it was a casual thing as far as he was concerned.

He might write, but I dunno. I honestly get sick of texting and if a woman texts and I am not interested the easiest way to handle it is to simply not reply. I suppose if I got a barrage of texts I would say something to make her feel better about herself but it wouldn't change things.
 
It is a wAste of time,energy,emotion debating what this guy is thinking..it is clear if he wanted to be with u he would be right beside u..I have never said to myself I like this girl so much I'm going to ignore her and not see her..
 
If he's not replying at all then he's not interested. Time to move on.
 
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