roxi2873
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2015
- Messages
- 240
Had I known that once I got on sub maintenance I could never get high again... I wouldn't have done it. I started going to a sub clinic back in August. I had previously abused opioids about 5 years and had about 180-240mg a day oxy habit. I would occasionally sniff heroin, tried banging it a few times but I think I was doing something wrong because I never got the rush. Anyway I've been on subs for about 7-8 months now. They started me on 16 mg a day. After about 4 months of that I started taking less and saving them. Eventually, I got down to taking a half sub every 2 or 3 days. I only have 1 1/2 8mg strips left and I am screwedddd beyond all hope because I stopped going to my clinic thinking I could get off them my own.
Now, my girlfriend breaks up with me and I go relapse except no matter what I do...I can't get that euphoria high I always got with opioids, coke, even adderall got me off. I even didn't take any sub for 8 days to the point I was sick as hell, getting the shits....everything and then finally ate 10 perc 10s thinking I was going to get high.....nope. Just barely took the shits away. Snorted a bag of dope and kinda made me dizzy but no euphoria. Said fuck it...waited 24 hours and took 2 whole 8 mg strips just to feel normal again.
I've even tried other drugs I normally don't do to try and get high....NOTHING WORKS. I did 100$ worth of good crack with a friend... Just made my chest tight and a bit more talkative. Adderall did the same thing. Nothing gives me that high anymore, even just getting by on like half or 1/4 of a sub every other or 3 days. I think suboxone has ruined my brain to where I can't get high.
Monday I am going to get a gram of really good dope. I took half a sub today and I will not take any more for the 48 hours before I get the H. I am going to try banging it until I get high. If that doesn't work.... I don't know what will. I hate this. I wish I had never gotten on subs. I can't even smoke crack and feel it. I feel nothing anymore from anything. The only thing worth getting is Xanax because at least I can sleep. Will this ever go away??? I'm scared I'll never get high again.
Now, my girlfriend breaks up with me and I go relapse except no matter what I do...I can't get that euphoria high I always got with opioids, coke, even adderall got me off. I even didn't take any sub for 8 days to the point I was sick as hell, getting the shits....everything and then finally ate 10 perc 10s thinking I was going to get high.....nope. Just barely took the shits away. Snorted a bag of dope and kinda made me dizzy but no euphoria. Said fuck it...waited 24 hours and took 2 whole 8 mg strips just to feel normal again.
I've even tried other drugs I normally don't do to try and get high....NOTHING WORKS. I did 100$ worth of good crack with a friend... Just made my chest tight and a bit more talkative. Adderall did the same thing. Nothing gives me that high anymore, even just getting by on like half or 1/4 of a sub every other or 3 days. I think suboxone has ruined my brain to where I can't get high.
Monday I am going to get a gram of really good dope. I took half a sub today and I will not take any more for the 48 hours before I get the H. I am going to try banging it until I get high. If that doesn't work.... I don't know what will. I hate this. I wish I had never gotten on subs. I can't even smoke crack and feel it. I feel nothing anymore from anything. The only thing worth getting is Xanax because at least I can sleep. Will this ever go away??? I'm scared I'll never get high again.