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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Where im now..

Thank you for your support Barbalos.Honestly,i didnt have any other choice but to work and get things done.I dont know..im thinking that if not forced to do hard work..that would have never happened.I was Very tired,to the point i just wanted to die.However,that might have helped a lot to get through physical side of this.

Anyone going through this,my suggestion would be to start exercise as soon as possible.

Im still having those moments of low motivation,low energy,hard time to sleep.
Then there is depression,anxiety and cravings,but i have other issues that makes them really bad so i dont know whats from wd and whats from other stuff im dealing with.
Life threw me in such a f*cked up place..where only thing i can do is get clean..and it still is struggle.To start use again is lingering in my mind almost constantly..even its been hell to get off.

Thank you for your nice words Painful and EPL1.

I Hope You All Have A Good Day And Weekend.
 
https://youtu.be/I_zWoC4XPo4

"Seven women rescue over 200 horses"

I found this to be very inspiring. Thought I would leave it here.

Don't forget how important you are in this world guys! Don't forget who you are!

Be encouraged!
 
Very Nice and Calming video.

Spend day doing bird watching with Focus nature scope.Then sauna and swimming.
Im starting to get bored.I have to find something to do fast.

Still in middle of mental struggle.I think others are starting to get worried about my mental state.
And i dont know why..Maybe im just paranoid. Im doing my best to hide how i truly feel because theres no one to talk to..One is just silent and another one goes off like a bomb if i just hint about hospital or going there for a visit with me or try to talk about it.
 
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I hope the video helped. I found it to be very calming and helpful.

Yeah, it is hard for others to understand. They don't get it about why anyone would take those kinds of drugs in the first place. Because they do not suffer from health problems which they have had to try and control and they certainly don't understand why you cannot "just stop doing it".

It does seem crazy that it takes so much time to heal from opiate withdrawal etc.
it sure doesn't help us to have them go off like a bomb on us and to not be able to talk about it and worse, not even able to just be ourselves as bad as we do feel right now. Trying to hide it for their sake does not help us. Now does it?

I have the same problem with my family. You can't worry about them right now. You need to just stay focused on your recovery.

I don't believe someone can just white knuckle it for very long. Leads me to believe there are probably a lot of people out there who now have a hidden loperamide or some other addiction going on. How did they get well that fast?
I think if we have underlying conditions that once you are left with those again, people then have family watching them like a hawk and they turn to more dangerous things unknowingly because they can order it on the Internet and it helps for awhile but now they are in a worse situation. I truly think that one has to get to the "Root" of the matter and that may require some medication management from a medical professional who knows what they are doing!

I hope and pray that the right help and choices come to you.
I wish you health and happiness. I hope you have a better day today.
We are here if you need or want to talk!
 
3m1l said:
Very Nice and Calming video.

Spend day doing bird watching with Focus nature scope.Then sauna and swimming.
Im starting to get bored.I have to find something to do fast.

Still in middle of mental struggle.I think others are starting to get worried about my mental state.
And i dont know why..Maybe im just paranoid. Im doing my best to hide how i truly feel because theres no one to talk to..One is just silent and another one goes off like a bomb if i just hint about hospital or going there for a visit with me or try to talk about it.
Click to expand...
Paranoia is a side effect of the WD process. I have it too. It's so hard faking a smile and trying to engage in conversation that you care nothing about. I've withdrawn from social situations because I cant stand faking being happy . If you feel like you need to seek treatment then dont worry about how your family feels about it . This is your life and you do what ever will help you.
 
Thanks support and everything painful and hik.

Another angry,stressed out day filled with work..I was seriously thinking to get something mind altering.

Then i had it.Listened through Body meditation cd.
After that i was calm,cravings where gone and could breath freely again..That is really good way to spend 30mins.
Cant wait to get CD?s i ordered. Meditation for beginners and book about Mindfulness.


I Hope You All Have A Good Day.
 
Proud of you 3!! You were tempted but you didn't give in to it!!!! You're amazing!!! Glad you're meditating, I have done it before and it definitely helps to reset and ground me.

Hang in there my friend, each day will get better and better!!!
Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.

3m1l said:
Thanks support and everything painful and hik.

Another angry,stressed out day filled with work..I was seriously thinking to get something mind altering.

Then i had it.Listened through Body meditation cd.
After that i was calm,cravings where gone and could breath freely again..That is really good way to spend 30mins.
Cant wait to get CD?s i ordered. Meditation for beginners and book about Mindfulness.


I Hope You All Have A Good Day.
Click to expand...
 
Just giving you some support.

I hope things are going better for you right now.
Take this one moment at a time.

Excellent work on giving the meditation a try!
Isn't it amazing? I have been meditating every day for the last 10 years and I now have such an invaluable tool.
I have even managed to heal some internal injuries by using meditation.
I can see the difference on MRI's and stuff.

Meditation is the one thing I would choose over any other thing to help me if I had to choose only one thing.

Let us know how you are doing when you are up to it.
We all love and care about you here and we are pulling for you!

❤️
 
Thank you for that Painful One and EPL1.Its always heart warming to read messages from you two.Hope you both are doing good.

I send mail to psychologist.I cant run anymore my emotions and problems in hard work or chopping firewood.Things took again turn to worst in hospital.
Im just so tired.Cant sleep.I was going to get benzos and Oxys,then decided to send that mail and see what she has to say.Going to psychologist is just so big stigma around here that its hard to go see one,and i dont think i go.2 weeks to see doctor feels too long time to wait. My head is mess.Its just so tempting to just numb myself..atleast for few days.
 
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Do not let what other people think stop you from getting yourself the right treatment for you!

You do what is best for you.

Other people should mind their own business. Why does anyone even have to know? Besides a few family members.
They will just have to let you work this out.

I'm sorry that you are still feeling so bad. In a different kind of way now.

Do you have chronic pain/ injury? Underlying health issue?
That is what I had to determine so I could figure out the best treatment for me.

I hope you feel better soon.
You are in my prayers.
 
Thanks for that tough love.
I had long fucking day.Because i dropped everything and went for a hike and after that to cabin and sauna.When i got back i continued do chores and jobs.Paper hell and run companys jobs.


I dont want to go back that drug hell again.I rather slit my wrists or get something and shoot final OD.
Im just tired. Theres things coming that i dont want to face.

Hope You All Had A Good Day.
 
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Here for you 3, I hope you're having a good day today my dear friend!!!!

Hugs,
Ash.
 
Hi Painful!!

I'm sorry you are also dealing with this chronic pain life.


How are you doing today? You are such a lovely person I wanted you to know that.

I was thinking of joining the tapering supportive social thread. Do you think anyone would mind, I just want to make sure that's okay.

Hugs and I hope you're having a great day!!

Your friend,
Ash.

Painful One said:
Struggling here too Ash! I'm sorry to hear that you also are having such an issue with pain. Chronic pain.
I have been in pain management since 2009. I was in a car accident and migraines went out of control, cluster headaches actually and back and neck injuries. I tried to go without medication and I ended up Tylenol liver failure poisoned. I kept taking extra strength excederin and could not keep track of time. I had such a bad concussion. I kept waking up in the night thinking it had been hours and it had only probably been about five minutes and I was in horrific pain and I kept taking the excederin (Tylenol).

I ended up at a pain specialist and he knows what he is doing. He has kept me on the same dosage of MS Contin since 2009.
75 mg a day or MS Contin, 1 mg clonazepam (for sleep disorder), and ambian for sleep.

That combination was a good choice for me. I would not be alive otherwise. I have been pretty alright on that dosage all these years up until about a year and a half ago. I seem to require a little more. My condition has gotten worse. I now have a huge hernia they cannot fix surgically. I have trouble sitting, standing, walking, or laying down for very long so that makes me pretty dang disabled.

Without the pain medication and stuff I can't sleep or eat. It was like a miracle just to be able to do those things again.

I may need to have a talk with my doctor but I really don't want to up the dosage. So I have been fighting it out. I know bad things can happen by just trying to fight it out though. So, I am hesitant on making the right decision.

I was wondering how you are managing? You have nothing?

I think you do need to get to a doctor my friend. Seek out a pain specialist. The patient advocate people at the hospital were extremely helpful I had an appointment by 2:00 that day with this doctor I have now and he is really a great doctor. I just can't thank him enough. He says I do "pretty good" he has told me I am his number one pain patient. No problems. Perfect record.

I am a master in meditation and that has helped more than I could ever describe.

Yes we have an opiate epidemic here too. It has not effected me and hopefully will not!

Feel free to pm me and I can try to advise anytime. Take care Ash. Much love!
Click to expand...
 
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Hi Ash,

Thank you for the nice compliments. I appreciate that.

No, I don't think anyone would mind you coming on over to the "tapering, supportive, social thread" .
They have all been very nice to me and I just jumped in. I can't seem to learn much from the other chronic pain patients because they are too sick to talk much and I needed to learn about the medications. They have all been very helpful and very nice. Come on over!

I'm not the only one living in chronic pain on that thread at all! Those guys have helped me a lot!

I think you are a lovely person too. I think you must stand up for yourself when faced with this situation.
I mean, you need to weigh the pros and cons very carefully but most the time the answer is very clear about what needs to be done.
It is so hard to even think straight while living in this extreme pain situation, let alone advocate for yourself. I know.

I'm so sorry that you are living with this damn chronic pain and stuff too.

My quality of life became the deciding factor.

You do what is best for you. Realize that you are going to have to accept a certain degree of disability and stick to the prescribed medications. That way you stay stable and don't increase your tolerance. You don't have to endure any withdrawal that way either.

I'm grateful to have made it through the loperamide withdrawal (what a huge mistake that was, never take that!) and to now have my tolerance back down and to be stable on my prescribed medications once again. I'm not going to mess with it again.

Eating healthy, exercise, music and meditation are all extremely important too. It is a full time job managing this stuff!

Sending you lots of love and support!
 
Hi. And thanks for support Painful and EPL1.Hope you both feel better.


This is weird struggle.Physicaly im ok.Mentally this is terrible.

I get through days by doing just whats needed other than that im tired.The need to use is horrible.

Low motivation,constantly tired,grief i dont know how to describe it,depression runs high i can feel it slowly dragging me to ground.I get anxiety because i dont have motivation do to more.Seeing this written in front of me gives anxiety because i know something is wrong and i dont know how or where to start to fix this.Things just move slowly towards inevitable..And i dont know how to face it.I fear that i crumble in seconds when that happens because im already in this condition.
 
Hey 3m1, I was gonna recommend a antidepressant or something similar. I just started lexapro yesterday. I'm in the same situation as you. Its still to soon to tell how they will work ,but as soon as they took effect my mood went upward some. These PAWS are hellacious. We've come to far to go back now . Hang in there my friend.
 
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