Hi Phee! So I'm doing okay, I think. I'm on day 12 of no alcohol, which, when I think about it, is probably the longest I've gone "dry" since I had my first sips in high school. Pretty startling to realize how long I've been self-medicating with beer and liquor. At some point, it became more of an addiction than a celebratory drink, and it's been that way perhaps for the last 10+ years, probably much much longer.
And for the last 5, it's been pills and booze. Sure I'd take days off here and there -- it's easy not to drink when you got the oxy's in your blood!
So I'm having some good days and not-so-good days. I'm using kratom daily and would like to stop. I just got done with a very stressful deadline, so I allowed myself to dose on kratom pretty much as much I wanted, which was about 3 times a day. My plan now is to try and taper off that.
I vaped a little weed last night, and I then had the best sleep I had since quitting alcohol. I still woke up a few times a night, but was able to fall back to sleep. So maybe I'm turning a corner? I still woke up at 5 am with the RLS and the some achiness, which I attribute to the now kratom dependence.
The hardest hours of my day are when I get home, as that was when I'd start drinking typically. That's when my anxiety kicks in and I want to drink -- but I know I need and want this hiatus. I want it. I'll revisit alcohol at some point but I'd like to give it a month. I see my wife nursing her glass of wine, and her bottle in the fridge, and I kind of want to just guzzle it, but so far I have controlled myself.
Like I said, some moments and hours are good, others are filled with anxiety and depression.
Thanks for checking in, Phee! Loved that recent RS interview with Trey, btw. Was at my kids T-ball game yesterday and turns out his coach is a phan of some 150 shows, so that was cool.