THECATINTHEHAT
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2005
- Messages
- 8,169
If you approach therapy with the attitude of going to someone who is going to 'therapise' you and thinking you're going to come out fixed, you wont. Therapy is an active process, you are going to need to do the majority of the heavy lifting yourself, a therapist is just a guide. If you're actively trying to throw them off like you mention then you might as well not bother going. I know the tendency can be to do that around certain issues, perhaps even subconsciously, but you cant rely on them to do pick up on that every time. You have to be committed enough to stop that yourself most of the time and hope they can pick up on it when you dont, at the end of the day a therapist is just someone who's read some books it doesnt mean they have superhuman powers of perception.
That said, I have had a few bad experiences. One was just clearly not going to be productive and the other they were downright negligent and really not very intelligent . It's the patient's responsibility to pick up on the fact that relationship is not working for them and move on to the next person. I didnt always do that in the right way and some lessons have been learnt, what I would say is that if you dont at least respect their level of intelligence then it's never going to work and dont waste any more time with that person. Politely say thankyou very much and move on.
Try not to think of therapy as a battle of wits and that you need to find someone smarter than you who can out wit you, because that's not the case and if you're genuinely intelligent then that is going to be very hard. You may need someone to have a certain level of intelligence to work with them (I certainly do), but my experience is that if you gel with a therapist and form a relationship with them then you dont have to feel like they are intellectually superior, or even on your level, to have success. If you take responsibility for the way you interact with the process, which may include walking away and moving to the next person, then things should start working out.
That said, I have had a few bad experiences. One was just clearly not going to be productive and the other they were downright negligent and really not very intelligent . It's the patient's responsibility to pick up on the fact that relationship is not working for them and move on to the next person. I didnt always do that in the right way and some lessons have been learnt, what I would say is that if you dont at least respect their level of intelligence then it's never going to work and dont waste any more time with that person. Politely say thankyou very much and move on.
Try not to think of therapy as a battle of wits and that you need to find someone smarter than you who can out wit you, because that's not the case and if you're genuinely intelligent then that is going to be very hard. You may need someone to have a certain level of intelligence to work with them (I certainly do), but my experience is that if you gel with a therapist and form a relationship with them then you dont have to feel like they are intellectually superior, or even on your level, to have success. If you take responsibility for the way you interact with the process, which may include walking away and moving to the next person, then things should start working out.