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What's Your Experience with Therapists?

If you approach therapy with the attitude of going to someone who is going to 'therapise' you and thinking you're going to come out fixed, you wont. Therapy is an active process, you are going to need to do the majority of the heavy lifting yourself, a therapist is just a guide. If you're actively trying to throw them off like you mention then you might as well not bother going. I know the tendency can be to do that around certain issues, perhaps even subconsciously, but you cant rely on them to do pick up on that every time. You have to be committed enough to stop that yourself most of the time and hope they can pick up on it when you dont, at the end of the day a therapist is just someone who's read some books it doesnt mean they have superhuman powers of perception.

That said, I have had a few bad experiences. One was just clearly not going to be productive and the other they were downright negligent and really not very intelligent . It's the patient's responsibility to pick up on the fact that relationship is not working for them and move on to the next person. I didnt always do that in the right way and some lessons have been learnt, what I would say is that if you dont at least respect their level of intelligence then it's never going to work and dont waste any more time with that person. Politely say thankyou very much and move on.

Try not to think of therapy as a battle of wits and that you need to find someone smarter than you who can out wit you, because that's not the case and if you're genuinely intelligent then that is going to be very hard. You may need someone to have a certain level of intelligence to work with them (I certainly do), but my experience is that if you gel with a therapist and form a relationship with them then you dont have to feel like they are intellectually superior, or even on your level, to have success. If you take responsibility for the way you interact with the process, which may include walking away and moving to the next person, then things should start working out.
 
G_Chem said:
They’re all lying fucks that are just as broken as you. The only answers are within, just gotta find a way to get to them.

I’ve had 4-5 at least over the years, mostly as post-incident grief counselor or drug counselors. Time and again information that I told to not share was shared. And not like information that was pertinent to share, like someone maybe getting hurt which I would understand.

My last one I thought was a great guy, really enjoyed seeing him but one day I went in to the outpatient clinic and one of his colleagues came up to me to discuss some what I thought were private topics with me.

I walked out of there and literally threw away the scripts they gave me I was so mad, I wanted zero connection with them.

Now that I’m older, have multiple family members in the healthcare industry, I see firsthand my worries were warranted. People talk, they can’t seem to help themselves.

-GC
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Disagree with this entirely.

If nothing else it should be obvious that you cant extrapolate from your very small number of experiences and make generalisations across the whole field.
 
THECATINTHEHAT said:
If you're actively trying to throw them off like you mention then you might as well not bother going.
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i'd be stronger than that and say don't go. especially if its publically funded. in that case you are just taking an opportunity to heal away from someone else, who may intend to go in with a sincere intention to work with the therapist.

i know it can be easy to give up on therapy cos i did it myself, and that went horrendously for me. i only put my faith back into it when it was either do that, or die. i think its much easier to develop vitriol against therapists than admit you're really fucked up and need help, let alone start looking at yourself.
 
THECATINTHEHAT said:
If you approach therapy with the attitude of going to someone who is going to 'therapise' you and thinking you're going to come out fixed, you wont. Therapy is an active process, you are going to need to do the majority of the heavy lifting yourself, a therapist is just a guide. If you're actively trying to throw them off like you mention then you might as well not bother going. I know the tendency can be to do that around certain issues, perhaps even subconsciously, but you cant rely on them to do pick up on that every time. You have to be committed enough to stop that yourself most of the time and hope they can pick up on it when you dont, at the end of the day a therapist is just someone who's read some books it doesnt mean they have superhuman powers of perception.

That said, I have had a few bad experiences. One was just clearly not going to be productive and the other they were downright negligent and really not very intelligent . It's the patient's responsibility to pick up on the fact that relationship is not working for them and move on to the next person. I didnt always do that in the right way and some lessons have been learnt, what I would say is that if you dont at least respect their level of intelligence then it's never going to work and dont waste any more time with that person. Politely say thankyou very much and move on.

Try not to think of therapy as a battle of wits and that you need to find someone smarter than you who can out wit you, because that's not the case and if you're genuinely intelligent then that is going to be very hard. You may need someone to have a certain level of intelligence to work with them (I certainly do), but my experience is that if you gel with a therapist and form a relationship with them then you dont have to feel like they are intellectually superior, or even on your level, to have success. If you take responsibility for the way you interact with the process, which may include walking away and moving to the next person, then things should start working out.
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Agree with 90% of what you're saying, but I want to point out that not all systems allow you to just switch to a new therapist. On the NHS you would be lucky to see anyone at all. You certainly don't have your pick.

But yes approaching it with the right attitude is vital.
 
Wilson Wilson said:
Agree with 90% of what you're saying, but I want to point out that not all systems allow you to just switch to a new therapist. On the NHS you would be lucky to see anyone at all. You certainly don't have your pick.

But yes approaching it with the right attitude is vital.
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Absolutely, I thought about mentioning that but didn't want to complicate things.

I actually did manage to secure a change of therapist, and a change of therapy type through the NHS. It was far from easy and what actually happened was they at first just dismissed me from the clinic then my girlfriend and I kicked up a big old fuss and eventually they reviewed my case and gave me a more senior therapist. It's worth noting that even under a socialised healthcare system you are ALWAYS entitled to receive an alternative opinion or practitioner if you are not happy with the one you have. Remember that this is a service you pay for, it's not a handout that you have to take as it comes.

The short answer with the NHS and talking therapies is that unless you tell them you're having suicidal thoughts you will find it extremely difficult to get any sort of help. Making sure you are very clear in communicating however severe the situation may be is absolutely essential, to get care they basically need to be scared about how it will look if they don't act and then you do something terrible and it comes out that you've been asking for help and not getting it.

It's a bit of an ethical tightrope in that you don't want to be lying or manipulating in order to get preferential treatment, but at the same time you need to be bold and let them know what's up or nothing will ever happen.
 
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THECATINTHEHAT said:
Absolutely, I thought about mentioning that but didn't want to complicate things.

I actually did manage to secure a change of therapist, and a change of therapy type through the NHS. It was far from easy and what actually happened was they at first just dismissed me from the clinic then my girlfriend and I kicked up a big old fuss and eventually they reviewed my case and gave me a more senior therapist. It's worth nothing that even under a socialised healthcare system you are ALWAYS entitled to receive an alternative opinion or practitioner if you are not happy with the one you have. Remember that this is a service you pay for, it's not a handout that you have to take as it comes.

The short answer with the NHS and talking therapies is that unless you tell them you're having suicidal thoughts you will find it extremely difficult to get any sort of help. Making sure you are very clear in communicating however severe the situation may be is absolutely essential, to get care they basically need to be scared about how it will look if they don't act and then you do something terrible and it comes out that you've been asking for help and not getting it.

It's a bit of an ethical tightrope in that you don't want to be lying or manipulating in order to get preferential treatment, but at the same time you need to be bold and let them know what's up or nothing will ever happen.
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Definitely you have the right to get another opinion but in practice, as you well know, it's not so easy to exercise that right. Glad you managed it though!

In my case when I was being referred from CAHMS to the adult services they exaggerated my severity when writing the report. They literally told me they have to exaggerate it or I won't have a chance of getting in. Of course I was rejected anyway.

Didn't even get into CAHMS until my mum rang them up and went nuts because I was self-harming. Unless there is something physical, or a chance of suicide, they really just don't give a shit.

Went private in the end which is like another world, but I am very aware most don't have that option.
 
No, a physical therapist is not just there to play the jumping bunny in front of you and look at why you do weights. He is there to fix your pyhsical problems, with wich methods ever. Once you start to begin having problems with whatever or also did have a knee surgery we are the people to visit :)

JJ

AAAAAAH ! SorrY! - wrong thread - i didnt mean the psychotherapists.... so sorry :D ;)
 
THECATINTHEHAT said:
If you approach therapy with the attitude of going to someone who is going to 'therapise' you and thinking you're going to come out fixed, you wont. Therapy is an active process, you are going to need to do the majority of the heavy lifting yourself, a therapist is just a guide. If you're actively trying to throw them off like you mention then you might as well not bother going. I know the tendency can be to do that around certain issues, perhaps even subconsciously, but you cant rely on them to do pick up on that every time. You have to be committed enough to stop that yourself most of the time and hope they can pick up on it when you dont, at the end of the day a therapist is just someone who's read some books it doesnt mean they have superhuman powers of perception.

That said, I have had a few bad experiences. One was just clearly not going to be productive and the other they were downright negligent and really not very intelligent . It's the patient's responsibility to pick up on the fact that relationship is not working for them and move on to the next person. I didnt always do that in the right way and some lessons have been learnt, what I would say is that if you dont at least respect their level of intelligence then it's never going to work and dont waste any more time with that person. Politely say thankyou very much and move on.

Try not to think of therapy as a battle of wits and that you need to find someone smarter than you who can out wit you, because that's not the case and if you're genuinely intelligent then that is going to be very hard. You may need someone to have a certain level of intelligence to work with them (I certainly do), but my experience is that if you gel with a therapist and form a relationship with them then you dont have to feel like they are intellectually superior, or even on your level, to have success. If you take responsibility for the way you interact with the process, which may include walking away and moving to the next person, then things should start working out.
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Oh, wow.... a physical therapist is just a guide and therapy is always an active process??? You just have to do enough weight than everything is cured? And we are not intelligent enough for you because you know everyhings better instead of trusting your therapist? Why are you going then??? Bullshit.

I'm reading "Social Intelligence" at these time... Never thinking of my patients..... Bullshit.

You are some patient we therapists play "tik-tok-tuk" because nobody would want to treat such a ....... No I will not say this word.


JJ
 
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Wilson Wilson said:
Definitely you have the right to get another opinion but in practice, as you well know, it's not so easy to exercise that right. Glad you managed it though!

In my case when I was being referred from CAHMS to the adult services they exaggerated my severity when writing the report. They literally told me they have to exaggerate it or I won't have a chance of getting in. Of course I was rejected anyway.

Didn't even get into CAHMS until my mum rang them up and went nuts because I was self-harming. Unless there is something physical, or a chance of suicide, they really just don't give a shit.

Went private in the end which is like another world, but I am very aware most don't have that option.
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This is why I’m taking my son private for his ocd and anxiety issues. Fuck dealing with CAHMS. Had to deal with them for years for clients who were engaged with the service and who were severely unwell and it was like talking to a brick wall. I had to make complaints left right and centre to get them anywhere. Total joke the whole system.
 
So my exactly 5 years younger brother is like my therapist. I share with him even my most extreme ideas which he understandably tries to kind of make lesser or more normal. Intelligent and wise person. I love him.
 
Personally, I have not had much luck with therapy. I just been to several over the years and while some were nice, I was just never able to trust them.
 
I think you get what you pay for. The ones who take insurance have been mostly useless and sometimes outright ridiculous. I’ve had 2 really good therapists. Both were psychiatrists but trained in analysis. Both were pricey. I was in analysis 3x a week for 4 years and looking back I can’t believe how much I spent.

But hey, you can’t put a price on mental health. And look how well I turned out! Hahaha!
 
JessFR said:
Personally, I have not had much luck with therapy. I just been to several over the years and while some were nice, I was just never able to trust them.
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That sucks:(

Out of interest, in what way did you feel you weren't able to trust them?
 
I've been in therapy for over a decade and it's been both helpful and not. I've stopped because there's been so many more misses than hits. I don't think everyone is out to take advantage of you, but I also think far too many of them would rather insert their own views or passively listen instead of listening with compassion and empathy and produce concrete solutions such as being a source of accountability for the person.
 
THECATINTHEHAT said:
That sucks:(

Out of interest, in what way did you feel you weren't able to trust them?
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I'm not entirely sure, several reasons I think.

Fear of them saying something I don't want to hear, being judged or disbelieved. Difficulty talking about stuff that's happened to me in general. Being in the long term habit of being secretive. General distrust of authority figures.

I just can't seem to do it even if I can somewhat rationally dismiss many of the reasons I don't.

I'm also far less inclined to trust someone if I don't feel like they really could understand or relate. And with therapists I usually don't.
 
Blunt.

I have nightmares since I was little, overall a chemical imbalance. I am not sick, I don't have any kind of mental illness, just a shady brain. I've went for 2 years in row, it was pleasant. Very cool fucker, not your typcal ''I am here to listen just because you give'me money'', he also spoke to my wife because she suffered from the same experience, so he knows us. I still have his number, even If something happens' and I don't have money he will be there for us but it will not be necessary because we were cured. He tried the stereotypical ''Hypnotize'' thing, it worked 1 one time then he gave us some Chinese natural plants that were took from some ancient mountains, I used them in our food/drinks and they cured us. Through many treatments, he also perfomed tests -- like > astral plane -- it was fuckin insane, I can literally travel anywhere I want now, fuckin hell //> then he kept us sedated in sleep walkin to monitorize our behaviour, to see what's what, we were connected to a machine with some medicine, he didn't actually told me what it was but I didn't care much because I've spoke with a previous client and he wasn't fuckin around, so I took his word. And overall, that was it, we were cured. Now, I very rarely have them, like for e.g > 2 nights ago I couldn't sleep but I don't have them every night, it'occurs now as how it occurs to the average person.
 
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