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What's with the overrepresentation of bis on this forum -?

xtcgrrrl said:
I don’t see a problem here. Best of both worlds? Boobs AND dick? Lol
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Ugh, it's not the best of both worlds. To be fair, I said that to the first trans guy I met before I came out as trans so like I really can't judge people making that comment before they're told why it sucks having that said to you.

We aren't the best of both worlds. Only certain people are interested in trans people, and that includes basically every group. I'm a trans guy (10 years into transition so I look completely cisgender with clothes on (more masculine than plenty of cis men actually), and some bisexual people will not date or fuck me. But the people who say the 'best of both worlds' comments are *almost* exclusively bisexual men.

Cis gay men will and do often fuck me, as I am one of the handful of trans guys on Grindr in my city who are passably cis and deemed attractive enough by cis standards for these men to go 'wow, I don't mind that he doesn't have a penis, I want to try hooking up with him because he's really attractive' and that's not to brag, that's just the reality in that if you are a trans guy on Grindr and you don't pass as cis and you aren't hot by cis standards, you'll only get attention from bisexual men. These cis gay men will not fuck women just because they fuck me. They view my genitals as a male version of those genitals. I know it's hard to sort of comprehend and I'm not saying it's inherently male, a vagina is clearly the set of genitalia commonly associated with women, but on me, a trans man, it is male (to those cis gay men who fuck me, to the ones who don't it remains entirely female in their opinion). Cis gay men will not fuck trans women, just because they have a dick because, they're not attracted to *women* and that is to them, a woman's penis. Like I'm not trying to change biology here, these are not solely my views, these are the views of people who have sex with trans people, excluding the ones who misgender them in trying to do so, like the exorbitant amount of straight men who message my escorting phone and when I ask if they're gay, bisexual, or straight and they say straight and I decline services, cannot seem to fathom why I would refuse to fuck someone who considers me a woman due to either being in denial, or because they literally think I'm a woman because I have certain genitals even though the rest of me passes as male. I mean I even tell them I partly refuse because if they're not into men they won't enjoy it, given what I look like and like, putting a paper bag over my head isn't going to help them get around the fact that my body is male, I just happened to be cursed with the wrong set of genitals.

Trans people are not 'half and half' or something like that, which the 'best of both worlds comment implies' (as the guy I said it to myself explained when I said it to him, so I'm just passing it on to you because this is how I learnt why it was not a great comment). I'm not half a girl, half a guy. I'm a guy, and I happen to have a body that didn't match that when I was born. To people who have sex with me my body is male, especially cis gay man and straight women. Bisexuals, it's hard to say what they think. God fucked up at the assembly factory and poured in too much estrogen and now I'm here almost 3 decades later fixing his mess. But there is nothing female about me, when people meet me in real life, or get to know me, and even see pictures of me before I started hormones where I still passed as male because I clearly have naturally high testosterone (I'm on a reduced dose and I'm still at the upper limit), they always say that life played a joke on me and I really should have been assigned male at birth.

Saying we are the 'best of both worlds' implies that we are halfway between or a mixture of both. Perhaps to some people we may not have the body that matches our gender identity, but to me my body is male, it just is trans male and not cis male. I look biologically male with everything but underwear on, so to me I have a male body. I just don't have one assigned male at birth, and the opposite applies for trans women.

I'm not trying to have a go at your comment here, like I said I literally made the same comment to the first trans person who outed himself to me so I'm not in a position to judge you. Just informing you of how it's not a great comment to make. What you do with this information is up to you.
 
Eligiu said:
Ugh, it's not the best of both worlds. To be fair, I said that to the first trans guy I met before I came out as trans so like I really can't judge people making that comment before they're told why it sucks having that said to you.

We aren't the best of both worlds. Only certain people are interested in trans people, and that includes basically every group. I'm a trans guy (10 years into transition so I look completely cisgender with clothes on (more masculine than plenty of cis men actually), and some bisexual people will not date or fuck me. But the people who say the 'best of both worlds' comments are *almost* exclusively bisexual men.

Cis gay men will and do often fuck me, as I am one of the handful of trans guys on Grindr in my city who are passably cis and deemed attractive enough by cis standards for these men to go 'wow, I don't mind that he doesn't have a penis, I want to try hooking up with him because he's really attractive' and that's not to brag, that's just the reality in that if you are a trans guy on Grindr and you don't pass as cis and you aren't hot by cis standards, you'll only get attention from bisexual men. These cis gay men will not fuck women just because they fuck me. They view my genitals as a male version of those genitals. I know it's hard to sort of comprehend and I'm not saying it's inherently male, a vagina is clearly the set of genitalia commonly associated with women, but on me, a trans man, it is male (to those cis gay men who fuck me, to the ones who don't it remains entirely female in their opinion). Cis gay men will not fuck trans women, just because they have a dick because, they're not attracted to *women* and that is to them, a woman's penis. Like I'm not trying to change biology here, these are not solely my views, these are the views of people who have sex with trans people, excluding the ones who misgender them in trying to do so, like the exorbitant amount of straight men who message my escorting phone and when I ask if they're gay, bisexual, or straight and they say straight and I decline services, cannot seem to fathom why I would refuse to fuck someone who considers me a woman due to either being in denial, or because they literally think I'm a woman because I have certain genitals even though the rest of me passes as male. I mean I even tell them I partly refuse because if they're not into men they won't enjoy it, given what I look like and like, putting a paper bag over my head isn't going to help them get around the fact that my body is male, I just happened to be cursed with the wrong set of genitals.

Trans people are not 'half and half' or something like that, which the 'best of both worlds comment implies' (as the guy I said it to myself explained when I said it to him, so I'm just passing it on to you because this is how I learnt why it was not a great comment). I'm not half a girl, half a guy. I'm a guy, and I happen to have a body that didn't match that when I was born. To people who have sex with me my body is male, especially cis gay man and straight women. Bisexuals, it's hard to say what they think. God fucked up at the assembly factory and poured in too much estrogen and now I'm here almost 3 decades later fixing his mess. But there is nothing female about me, when people meet me in real life, or get to know me, and even see pictures of me before I started hormones where I still passed as male because I clearly have naturally high testosterone (I'm on a reduced dose and I'm still at the upper limit), they always say that life played a joke on me and I really should have been assigned male at birth.

Saying we are the 'best of both worlds' implies that we are halfway between or a mixture of both. Perhaps to some people we may not have the body that matches our gender identity, but to me my body is male, it just is trans male and not cis male. I look biologically male with everything but underwear on, so to me I have a male body. I just don't have one assigned male at birth, and the opposite applies for trans women.

I'm not trying to have a go at your comment here, like I said I literally made the same comment to the first trans person who outed himself to me so I'm not in a position to judge you. Just informing you of how it's not a great comment to make. What you do with this information is up to you.
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Wow, this sounds so incredibly complicated! Thank you for correcting me, I appreciate it. I do think that trans people ARE the gender that they prefer (and are transitioning to, or have plans to transition to, or desire to transition to.) I’m not one of those people who think that it’s a deluded female who wants to be male or vice versa. My middle child may very well end up being trans; they've told me that they are non-binary, and they wear a binder. Right now their preferred pronouns are he/they, and I’m just waiting to see how this plays out. I will accept them either way. They will be loved as a male, female, non-binary person of indeterminate gender…and they have the absolute right to change their mind, as well.

I love how you phrased this: “God fucked up at the assembly factory!” That’s a really good way to put it. I guess some people can get past the non-male genitalia and some can’t. It’s really a shame that that limits your dating pool, however. My comment stemmed from the appreciation of both genders, sexually. But I’m guessing if it came down to an actual sexual experience with someone transitioning from female to male, paying attention to his breasts would simply make him uncomfortable, correct? Since that’s not a part of their bodies they are comfortable with…

I’ve seen a lot of “bisexual fantasy” porn on Reddit and the like where trans women who have not yet had bottom surgery prance around in very little (or nothing at all) and that’s more the type of thing that interests me, at least visually…the beauty of women, but with the, ahem, equipment for fucking. I also know that this type of porn is: 1. Exploitative (but isn’t all porn?) and 2. A fantasy, not reality. So it was this type of thing I was thinking of when I made my comment…but even these people doing this porn are no more “half and half,” as you said, in than you are. They probably identify as women.

Please forgive my careless comment, I’m so glad you corrected me! :)
 
Eligiu said:
Straight. They're women.
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The ones that actually ARE, yes. But there's also some confused femboys and transvestic fetishists about who nobody should be prescribing HRT to.

Also, there's a difference between a straight guy who's up for dating a trans woman pre-op DESPITE the fact she still has a penis, or someone who dates them specifically FOR having said penis. And you can't tell me the latter isn't the overwhelming majority, because usually men aren't any longer interested once a trans woman has had sex reassignment surgery. So if such a woman would lose her appeal to you post-op, and if you seek out pre-op trans women to date over 'standard' women exclusively, then you're dating them as a fetish and not as a regular woman. You specifically want a chick-with-a-dick. And that's not entirely straight in my book 'cause guess what a penis is a male organ, even if one is occasionally attached to a woman, and your average straight bloke isn't attracted to male genitals.
 
TheUltimateFixx said:
The ones that actually ARE, yes. But there's also some confused femboys and transvestic fetishists about who nobody should be prescribing HRT to.

Also, there's a difference between a straight guy who's up for dating a trans woman pre-op DESPITE the fact she still has a penis, or someone who dates them specifically FOR having said penis. And you can't tell me the latter isn't the overwhelming majority, because usually men aren't any longer interested once a trans woman has had sex reassignment surgery. So if such a woman would lose her appeal to you post-op, and if you seek out pre-op trans women to date over 'standard' women exclusively, then you're dating them as a fetish and not as a regular woman. You specifically want a chick-with-a-dick. And that's not entirely straight in my book 'cause guess what a penis is a male organ, even if one is occasionally attached to a woman, and your average straight bloke isn't attracted to male genitals.
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Trans women are women, cis gay men don't fuck them because they are women, even though they have a penis.

Cis gay men will fuck me, even though I have a vagina because I'm male, but they won't fuck a cis women, because she's a woman and they're gay.

Some people do it as a fetish, I know this more than most being an escort. And I'm going to tell you something. The ones it is more of a kink to, with me being a man with a penis are drumroll... Straight men! The bisexual men and cis gay men who pay me are far less into it as a kink and treat me with far more respect, even just in my text interactions with them. And many even don't want anything to do with that part of my body and only are interested in anal.

I don't know why you think telling a trans person who the people who have sex with them identify as. I have trans women friends who are sex workers and they exclusively see straight men and like me, refuse to see men who are of a sexuality that invalidates their gender identity. Frankly that's less common for trans women, since no cis gay man would ever contact one for that reason.

Like I dunno what to tell you. The last like 5 men I've hooked up with (apparently my asexuality is in off mode for a bit, hopefully it's out of my system now and I can return to my happy sexless life) have all been cis gay men and because I had a hysterectomy recently and I'm not allowed to do anything with that part of my body it's been just anal stuff, and they're even fine with me keeping underwear on because of surgery which means they don't get to see or touch that part of my body. Seems like I'm being treated like a male to me by these guys. Otherwise they would demand I take the underwear off.

It's actually mostly bisexual men who are more invalidating, who insist on making me let them use that part of my body despite me saying I'm really not that into it.

I dunno what to say, like have all the cis gay men I've fucked disappeared? Are you gonna do what another guy did and say that they're actually bisexual because they fucked me and change their sexuality based on your beliefs? I had a support worker who told me he hooked up with a trans guy. He was resistant at first despite being very attracted to him because he didn't want to upset him if they tried hooking up and he couldn't do it. They eventually tried, and he found it really wasn't so big a difference as he thought. That's the same thing most cis gay guys who have hooked up with me and done that type of sex have thought. Some of them I see regularly still, and a couple have wanted to date me. Still gay. All have been very clear that they are absolutely still not interested in women despite knowing that they can have sex with that organ.

I'm more than aware that if and when I have a phalloplasty I won't be able to do sex work as much anymore because the appeal is gone. But to be frank, I'd say 70% of the people who contact me are straight men anyway to the extent I've started writing 'no straight men' in my ads and some of the ones when I deny seeing them saying I'm male and that would be gay (or at least bisexual) say dumb shit like 'oh I thought ftm was a girl who looks like a boy' so I'm like 'yeah dodged a bullet there this is why I ask before confirming a booking' but that doesn't mean that the people I hook up for fun with, again, predominantly cis gay men, dont view me as male.

The same goes for trans women. There are people who are only interested in trans women but who would never date or fuck a guy with a dick.

The people that you're talking about, the ones who would only date or fuck trans women pre op? It's a Venn diagram crossover between them and the people who will only date or fuck a trans man pre op. Fetishising gross (almost exclusively men) who I, like basically all trans people, have zero interest in fucking unless they pay us an exorbitant amount of money. So they're rather irrelevant in the discussion when people like myself and many other trans people are having sex with cis people who identify as either completely gay or completely straight and would fuck us despite our junk, but not people of their own gender and sex with the same junk.

This is sort of a pointless argument, like my lived experience proves that cis gay people who are attracted to trans men are absolutely fine both pre and post operative (though the cost of phalloplasty makes this extremely rare) and there's so many straight men who date pre op trans women who support them in transitioning with their bottom surgery.

Idk man.
 
xtcgrrrl said:
Wow, this sounds so incredibly complicated! Thank you for correcting me, I appreciate it. I do think that trans people ARE the gender that they prefer (and are transitioning to, or have plans to transition to, or desire to transition to.) I’m not one of those people who think that it’s a deluded female who wants to be male or vice versa. My middle child may very well end up being trans; they've told me that they are non-binary, and they wear a binder. Right now their preferred pronouns are he/they, and I’m just waiting to see how this plays out. I will accept them either way. They will be loved as a male, female, non-binary person of indeterminate gender…and they have the absolute right to change their mind, as well.

I love how you phrased this: “God fucked up at the assembly factory!” That’s a really good way to put it. I guess some people can get past the non-male genitalia and some can’t. It’s really a shame that that limits your dating pool, however. My comment stemmed from the appreciation of both genders, sexually. But I’m guessing if it came down to an actual sexual experience with someone transitioning from female to male, paying attention to his breasts would simply make him uncomfortable, correct? Since that’s not a part of their bodies they are comfortable with…

I’ve seen a lot of “bisexual fantasy” porn on Reddit and the like where trans women who have not yet had bottom surgery prance around in very little (or nothing at all) and that’s more the type of thing that interests me, at least visually…the beauty of women, but with the, ahem, equipment for fucking. I also know that this type of porn is: 1. Exploitative (but isn’t all porn?) and 2. A fantasy, not reality. So it was this type of thing I was thinking of when I made my comment…but even these people doing this porn are no more “half and half,” as you said, in than you are. They probably identify as women.

Please forgive my careless comment, I’m so glad you corrected me! :)
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Thank you for understanding. Sometimes when I've tried to explain to people on here why what they say is bad or a bit rude or very offensive they don't listen, or say I'm being aggressive when I'm just trying to explain something really directly. It doesn't help that my tone over writing doesn't come off well which is why I mentioned a few times I said the same thing myself so I couldn't really blame you for it. That would be hypocritical. The best I can do is just tell you what was told to me.

I'm glad you're supportive of your child whatever decision they make. When kids or teenagers experiment with their gender they need to know that whatever decision they make, even if that's going back to what they were beforehand.

When I slept with a guy after coming out and before I had top surgery I refused to take my binder off and he was fine with that. With sex work they always made me take it off and if sucked. Very traumatic. Even now I have customers ask me if I still have a chest, and when I say no, and tell them that should have been obvious considering my ad says I've surgically transitioned. They always say they're not interested then.

All porn about trans people is exploitative of trans people, as is sex work even if like me a person charges more. There's no way around it. At least not until the point someone has bottom surgery, then at that point they become undesirable to people who fetishise us and it's no longer a kink.
 
Fuck.....nothin'understand😀💥🤸🤸🤸The sentence can translate ofcourse,but meaning can't...maybe too old to this......or just long english practicing need
 
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I (female) have only had sex with men so far.
I always wanted to see what's liked to have sex with a woman, but never met one that I felt comfortable enough with.
By now I've realized I don't like sex at all (so I'm asexual).
But if the situation presents itself to try something new - hey, why not? I may not get the pleasure others do from being sexually active, but I enjoy expanding my horizon.

So I think it's all about being open-minded.
 
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