Tried meth once like 6 years ago. I was fine until about 8 hours or so in, then I had a massive panic attack, my heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like I was dying. Ended up calling 911 and I've had crippling anxiety ever since then. Haven't been able to take any stimulants since then, not even caffeine. If I try to have even caffeine I start shaking and feeling like my heart will beat out of my chest. I've been to the er multiple times and there is no heart damage. It's all in my head they say, it's just anxiety. That one moment has ruined my life for the last 6 years. I wish I could have enjoyed it but I let my anxiety get the best of me. I'm working on forcing myself to not be anxious anymore but it's really hard. I was predisposed to anxiety attacks before this happened so that probably has something to do with it.
I mean, at the beginning of the high it was amazing. I'll give the longer story.
I was at the bar and some random guy came up to me and we were chatting, and he asked me blah blah whatever about if I like to party and I said yeah. He said he had some meth. I had never tried it but was experienced with adderall and ritalin (which I have accidentally OD'd on both of those before, had a similar reaction to the meth reaction but managed to get over it). I figured sure why not, we went back to my house and he pulled out some syringes. I hadn't shot up ANYTHING before but I was drunk so I figured why not. At least it was a clean sterile needle out of a new package. He wanted to give me a normal size shot but due to my sensitivity to stimulants I warned him to only give me a baby shot. He did and I instantly felt the highest I've ever been in my life. I felt invincible. I had unprotected sex with the random dude (I realize how stupid this was since he was an IV drug user and the possibility of HIV but I got really, really lucky). It was probably the most euphoric sex ever and since this guy had been awake for days on meth he fell asleep while I kept jerking off after he fell asleep because it just felt fucking amazing. I stayed up all night and he drove me back to the bar to pick up my car the next day. Once I was alone I started to feel shaky and weird, but I tried to ignore it. I took a shower which only made things worse because the sensation of the water on my chest freaked me out. I was starting to come down and I couldn't stop thinking "oh god, I just did meth" and I couldn't stop thinking about my sensitivity to stimulants and I just let it spiral out of control and sent myself into a panic attack. Ended up calling 911 because I was shaking so hard I couldn't move. My pulse was around 180 when the EMS came. I think they shot me up with ativan or something at the hospital and told me I had a panic attack and there was no damage to my heart (I didn't tell them that I had done meth).
