What makes a person genuine? Am I not truly myself?

[demonapocalypse]

For about a year now I’ve been having a constant inner dialogue with myself and I don’t really know how to go about it. Growing up I was very isolated and didn’t really do/enjoy many things. Later on, I started to push my comfort zone and tried new things like new sports and hobbies which lead to me making a lot of friends, especially when high school started and for a while I felt normal and very happy, until I had a massive surgery which lead me staying in the hospital for a month. When I got out I thought things would go back to normal, but first time I saw my friends I couldn’t stop thinking about how pointless everything we used to do was, and this caused me to seperate myself from them. I was pretty miserable for the rest of high school, I stayed pretty isolated and found a few things I enjoy but still couldn’t find a way to be as happy as I was before. I recently started college and for the first semester I was extremely depressed and anxious as I tried to adjust to doing the things I haven’t done in so long like meeting new people and partying and stuff. I just couldn’t stop feeling like I was doing something I didn’t want to do, something I’d outgrown a while ago. I found it really difficult to find pleasure in it but I couldn’t help but think there was something I was just missing as everyone seemed to enjoy it. So now whenever I do anything out of my comfort zone I ask myself am I really doing this myself or am I being pressured by those around me to do it? I spent my second semester with the mentality that I would only do things I found genuine pleasure in and just be myself and I did, and it worked really well—I felt much more comfortable around people and actually started to enjoy going out and felt a lot happier. In the process, I had to change my personality from what it once was (monotone/dead) to being centered around what I believe are my values/sense of humor (humor is one thing I constantly think about so it is a big part of my personality) but I still can’t help but think I’m somehow deceiving myself into being someone I’m not—I can see traces of other peoples personality in what I do, so does that not make me, me? Is it normal to be influenced by other people? And I guess the fact that I changed my personality also gives me doubts about me being myself.

So this makes me wonder, how can we tell if the lives we live are genuinely what we want? Are we really ourselves if our environment/people we surround ourselves with have the power to so massively influence our decisions? I can’t tell if I’m being too extreme because I could argue that the fact that our parents indisputably shape our values and actions makes us all not “ourselves” but I don’t know if this is a fair argument, and if it’s not I guess it means that it’s okay to be influenced by those around you. But that makes me further wonder, if people are influenced by those around them, are they genuine? Is anyone genuine?

I guess im just having a crisis thinking that I’ll never know if what im doing is what I truly want or if im just a product of my environment. Even though im happier now, if im being someone im not I think I’d rather be miserable than continue being something im not.
Or maybe im just being totally irrational and thinking about this way deeper than I need to, but the issue feels so, so real to me and I need a way to show myself that im leading the life im living.

 

[December Flower]

Everyone is wearing a mask.
It's basically impossible to not wear a mask when you're with others.
I have many masks - it's just a mechanism to better adjust to group mentality.
So depending on who you're meeting, you will be a slightly different person.

We all do this, even the ones who are too inattentive to realize it.

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

To find your so called true self, you'd be required to isolate from others for a long period of time.
Think Zarathustra in Nietzsches epos in his cave, before descending into the madness of his fellow men.

 

[December Flower]

To find your so called true self, you'd be required to isolate from others for a long period of time.
Think Zarathustra in Nietzsches epos in his cave, before descending into the madness of his fellow men.

God I love Nietzsche's work.
There's lots of truth in Also sprach Zarathustra!

Only if we did, thought and said the same things we do when we're alone would we truly be genuine.
Nobody does that, partially ofc because masturbating in public is not culturally accepted.

It's very interesting that even our thought patterns change when we're among other people.
The Hive Mind comes to mind

 

[Foreigner]

Some people are blessed (cursed?) with certain awareness. Sometimes it's caused by a traumatic event, or some kind of knowledge they come across, or it's just spontaneous. It's like the story in the Bible when the scales fell of St. Paul's eyes and he could see again. The idea is that most of us go through lives seeing unclearly except for tiny moments of clarity and insight. For most, these little flashes are all they get. For others, the clarity is somewhat or totally permanent and they can't unsee what they are seeing.

This is what I tell people who are looking for awakening or enlightenment... be careful what you wish for. You get great insight and truth on the one hand, but on the other you can become terribly isolated because you can no longer pretend that things matter like they used to. A guru I once met (I didn't follow him, just talked to him) said that once you have primary awakening, you can't stop and have to go all the way, or risk falling into a very deep existential depression. The reason is that nothing in the external world will work for you anymore, not really. You will see through the charade of anything you think you want, and anything you try to do. All you can do is make your peace with God and the fact that you have a way of seeing that most others will never have. Or as one might say... you are born alone, you die alone, and in between there is God.

If you've had primary awakening, then the search for your genuine self will ultimately be fruitless. It's the self itself that you have to see through. I'm not saying the self is the enemy or you need to "get rid of it" (which is impossible). But at this stage of the game, if you want to minimize your suffering, you have to learn to see the self as just another charade, otherwise you will continue to be pulled into many directions that you know are false. Someone who has never had awakening wouldn't have a problem with that because they will just chase their tail from one pleasure/pain to the next, looking for a way out and never finding it, but also never seeing the root problem. For an awakened person, being pulled around like that is 10x more painful.

So what's the solution? At the end of the day, you are required to follow your truth and your configuration, which are unique to you. You could listen to a hundred gurus and devote yourself to various systems, but they're all just going to lead you right back here, to this present moment. It's up to you to figure out what your suffering means, what your purpose means, what you are doing here, what the spiritual questions are (if any), and what you could do to help yourself in this life. Don't think about "what is the real me" because you are just chasing another construction. Stand in the wind of the present moment and don't try to make up a story about it. Just be! Follow your inclinations. No human is above the system.

The benefit to awakening is that you will have less crap in the way. The difficulty is that, you know that nothing fundamentally has meaning, so you have to have faith that there is something about your unique nature that is meant to be, and being that is how you will live, and it doesn't matter what the rest of Samsara is doing related to it.

Can I blunt? Just be! Stop asking pointless questions!

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

Zarathustra

Damn, bro. Some knowledge that is little known these days.
Researched this while in a cell for years (among other writings) and was really impressed with the idea that from ones nail-clippings (or other bodily waste) one could create a disadvantageous situation for another. Sorcery or the like. I can see how bodily waste could in fact cause many ills (evils) upon humanity and has. We must dispose of these by-products with care.
Super impressed with this being brought out to light. Stunned, actually.

It's like the story in the Bible when the scales fell of St. Paul's eyes and he could see again.

I read this and instantly thought of "scales" as weighing-scales and then thoughts turned to Paul losing his laser-focus on trade and profit (which can be very short sighted and cruel) and turned to the "gospel" as other aspects of life came into focus...?
Just the way my head spins.

 

[4meSM]

To find your so called true self, you'd be required to isolate from others for a long period of time.
Think Zarathustra in Nietzsches epos in his cave, before descending into the madness of his fellow men.

I'm a fan of Nietzsche but I don't think that's how you find your true self. We are social animals first and foremost, you find your true self when you become part of a community. We need to be with people we trust and care for.
Isolation will only turn you into a hermit (which is ok, but it's not the real essence of a human being).

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

I'm a fan of Nietzsche but I don't think that's how you find your true self. We are social animals first and foremost, you find your true self when you become part of a community.

Being around other people means you're constantly influenced by them and you adapt, as we are social creatures. Everybody does this.
I disagree that you'd need to be part of a community to find your true self.
Being a part of a community molds you into the person that is best suited for that environment (social contracts and constructs et cetera), not into the person that you might've become otherwise.

We need to be with people we trust and care for.

While this certainly is more healthy for most of us, I disagree that this is a must for everybody.

Isolation will only turn you into a hermit (which is ok, but it's not the real essence of a human being).

The "real" essence of being a human being is just being born as one. There's nothing else to it than that.

 

[stardust10]

I feel like I agree with both of you ^
Lol
Depends on the person. But I think naturally we are social beings. If nobody fucked each other we'd be fucked. But then again in terms of finding yourself may involve being alone for a while depending on the context.

 

[4meSM]

The "real" essence of being a human being is just being born as one. There's nothing else to it than that.

A human baby without a community and people to influence him won't survive long. That's clearly not enough to become a full adult human being.

 

[stardust10]

Your concept or inherit feeling or whatever of yourself is what makes you you ... Even if you can't express it. Nobody knows you better than yourself.

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

A human baby without a community and people to influence him won't survive long. That's clearly not enough to become a full adult human being.

I never said adult - I said human being. And obviously a baby won't survive on it's own. Even if the baby just survives an hour, it's a human being for an hour.
At least I call babies humans. I don't know which term you use?

 

[96intheshade]

For about a year now I’ve been having a constant inner dialogue with myself and I don’t really know how to go about it. Growing up I was very isolated and didn’t really do/enjoy many things. Later on, I started to push my comfort zone and tried new things like new sports and hobbies which lead to me making a lot of friends, especially when high school started and for a while I felt normal and very happy, until I had a massive surgery which lead me staying in the hospital for a month. When I got out I thought things would go back to normal, but first time I saw my friends I couldn’t stop thinking about how pointless everything we used to do was, and this caused me to seperate myself from them. I was pretty miserable for the rest of high school, I stayed pretty isolated and found a few things I enjoy but still couldn’t find a way to be as happy as I was before. I recently started college and for the first semester I was extremely depressed and anxious as I tried to adjust to doing the things I haven’t done in so long like meeting new people and partying and stuff. I just couldn’t stop feeling like I was doing something I didn’t want to do, something I’d outgrown a while ago. I found it really difficult to find pleasure in it but I couldn’t help but think there was something I was just missing as everyone seemed to enjoy it. So now whenever I do anything out of my comfort zone I ask myself am I really doing this myself or am I being pressured by those around me to do it? I spent my second semester with the mentality that I would only do things I found genuine pleasure in and just be myself and I did, and it worked really well—I felt much more comfortable around people and actually started to enjoy going out and felt a lot happier. In the process, I had to change my personality from what it once was (monotone/dead) to being centered around what I believe are my values/sense of humor (humor is one thing I constantly think about so it is a big part of my personality) but I still can’t help but think I’m somehow deceiving myself into being someone I’m not—I can see traces of other peoples personality in what I do, so does that not make me, me? Is it normal to be influenced by other people? And I guess the fact that I changed my personality also gives me doubts about me being myself.

So this makes me wonder, how can we tell if the lives we live are genuinely what we want? Are we really ourselves if our environment/people we surround ourselves with have the power to so massively influence our decisions? I can’t tell if I’m being too extreme because I could argue that the fact that our parents indisputably shape our values and actions makes us all not “ourselves” but I don’t know if this is a fair argument, and if it’s not I guess it means that it’s okay to be influenced by those around you. But that makes me further wonder, if people are influenced by those around them, are they genuine? Is anyone genuine?

I guess im just having a crisis thinking that I’ll never know if what im doing is what I truly want or if im just a product of my environment. Even though im happier now, if im being someone im not I think I’d rather be miserable than continue being something im not.
Or maybe im just being totally irrational and thinking about this way deeper than I need to, but the issue feels so, so real to me and I need a way to show myself that im leading the life im living.

First off, the hospital trip sensitized to something that we often do (not always) naturally and subconciously. Our midbrain brain does it for us (in a basic sense lol) In a sense you kinda woke up during that time and are still not recovered/figured out how to go back to that natural way of being you. Heres the thing, you managed to do it for awhile but you're still having doubts. We are socialized so it's ok to see traces, you're not being fake, because you're aware of it. So don't worry about being fake. You're still awakened but adjusting, don't worry. What you really need is full confidence. Take confidence in the fact that you've had an experience that unfortunately made you a more aware and sensitive person (at least that's my interpretation). It can be a blessing, but now you need to balance this sensitivity with social and physical reality of being a human in a weird social environemnt. People may seem stupider or annoying to you, but don't get lost in arrogance. Look at it as a blessing, imagine is that didnt't happen and perhaps you wouldve become a one track, basic person who could move through life seemingly effortlessly, but in the end couldent see things in a comtemplative manner. What I'm suggesting could be taken as "i'm better than people because i'm aware" doesnt have to be. Maybe it isn't whats happening to you. But take self confidence in the fact that you are seeing things from a perspective that others may not reach till much later in life. Lucky you. You still can have fun, but you gotta deal with a more perceptive mind! It's a challenge, but if you own it, and develop confidence in yourself aso through learning new skills and pushing yoursefl, PLUS you're perceptive "burden" you may end up living an extra rich life. Sorry it may be harder for you lol, ignorance is bliss. Not to say you're a fuckin buddha now but you dont seem like your average beer bonger. Good luck.

 

[Brendan12]

People with too much power have made things illegal..

And made things contraband in society..

These things are not inherantly wrong.. but there are laws created against them..

The price of doing those things (like heavy drug use for example) is a potential sentence in jail!

So since the hierarchy is corrupt.. we have to lie.. just to live a regular and honest life..

The only way to truly express who you are is to over throw every corrupt regime on Earth..

This IS the prophecy of Gaia!

It's like William Wallace in Braveheart.. we need to fight for our freedom..

A corrupt politic makes rebellion necessary.

 

[deficiT]

Free will is an illusion. We are shaped by our environments, but at the end of the day, the final product is YOU and you can only be YOU, no matter what. I think as long as you're not totally pretending to be something or someone that goes against your values, then you can consider yourself genuine. Your thoughts don't definite you.

 

[ovenbakedskittles]

For about a year now I’ve been having a constant inner dialogue with myself and I don’t really know how to go about it. Growing up I was very isolated and didn’t really do/enjoy many things. Later on, I started to push my comfort zone and tried new things like new sports and hobbies which lead to me making a lot of friends, especially when high school started and for a while I felt normal and very happy, until I had a massive surgery which lead me staying in the hospital for a month. When I got out I thought things would go back to normal, but first time I saw my friends I couldn’t stop thinking about how pointless everything we used to do was, and this caused me to seperate myself from them. I was pretty miserable for the rest of high school, I stayed pretty isolated and found a few things I enjoy but still couldn’t find a way to be as happy as I was before. I recently started college and for the first semester I was extremely depressed and anxious as I tried to adjust to doing the things I haven’t done in so long like meeting new people and partying and stuff. I just couldn’t stop feeling like I was doing something I didn’t want to do, something I’d outgrown a while ago. I found it really difficult to find pleasure in it but I couldn’t help but think there was something I was just missing as everyone seemed to enjoy it. So now whenever I do anything out of my comfort zone I ask myself am I really doing this myself or am I being pressured by those around me to do it? I spent my second semester with the mentality that I would only do things I found genuine pleasure in and just be myself and I did, and it worked really well—I felt much more comfortable around people and actually started to enjoy going out and felt a lot happier. In the process, I had to change my personality from what it once was (monotone/dead) to being centered around what I believe are my values/sense of humor (humor is one thing I constantly think about so it is a big part of my personality) but I still can’t help but think I’m somehow deceiving myself into being someone I’m not—I can see traces of other peoples personality in what I do, so does that not make me, me? Is it normal to be influenced by other people? And I guess the fact that I changed my personality also gives me doubts about me being myself.

So this makes me wonder, how can we tell if the lives we live are genuinely what we want? Are we really ourselves if our environment/people we surround ourselves with have the power to so massively influence our decisions? I can’t tell if I’m being too extreme because I could argue that the fact that our parents indisputably shape our values and actions makes us all not “ourselves” but I don’t know if this is a fair argument, and if it’s not I guess it means that it’s okay to be influenced by those around you. But that makes me further wonder, if people are influenced by those around them, are they genuine? Is anyone genuine?

I guess im just having a crisis thinking that I’ll never know if what im doing is what I truly want or if im just a product of my environment. Even though im happier now, if im being someone im not I think I’d rather be miserable than continue being something im not.
Or maybe im just being totally irrational and thinking about this way deeper than I need to, but the issue feels so, so real to me and I need a way to show myself that im leading the life im living.

You can’t escape socialization. The influence of people’s personalities and morals will continually have us trapped in a vacuum of artificial thought forms and ideas and beliefs.

However if you are able to integrate the fake with the real is when I think you can have more resolution to that dilemma. And by that I mean not resisting the behaviors and characteristics that you think are not real or not a good representation of who you authentically are. Resistance to the unwanted is what keeps you in a loop of self criticism and doubt and discontent. You would have to embrace the parts of you that you do not like or parts that feel almost like it’s a hindrance on your existence. Only then will you self actualize and integrate dual aspects that were just compartmentalized in the first place.

However if you are not able to do this then you would have to learn how to go back to childhood and find out the cause of certain behaviors that might a little off balance and causing more problems and disruption rather than self progress.

And because there are so many different levels to your ever expanding consciousness, it is not possible to be 100% authentic in physical human life. There is too much dark energy and fear and resistance and chaos that is inherent within the species. Nor would you have the capacity to fathom the extent of this multidimensional aspect of you that has been in and out of lives for aeons. You can only be authentic to the degree that you are able to be aware of yourself. The only way we can become fully actualized is if we integrate and awaken ourselves enough to the point where we transcend or evolve past the third dimension and enter into the hyperspace where we are just purely beings of light who are one with god and have more access into his perspective.

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

You can’t escape socialization. The influence of people’s personalities and morals will continually have us trapped in a vacuum of artificial thought forms and ideas and beliefs.

However if you are able to integrate the fake with the real is when I think you can have more resolution to that dilemma. And by that I mean not resisting the behaviors and characteristics that you think are not real or not a good representation of who you authentically are. Resistance to the unwanted is what keeps you in a loop of self criticism and doubt and discontent. You would have to embrace the parts of you that you do not like or parts that feel almost like it’s a hindrance on your existence. Only then will you self actualize and integrate dual aspects that were just compartmentalized.

And because there are so many different levels to your ever expanding consciousness, it is not possible to be 100% authentic in physical human life. There is too much dark energy and fear and resistance and chaos that is inherent within the species. You can only be authentic to the degree that you are able to be aware of yourself. The only way we can become fully actualized is if we integrate and awaken ourselves enough to the point where we transcend or evolve past the third dimension and enter into the hyperspace where we are just purely beings of light who are one with god and have more access into his perspective.

Excellent post, I wish I could express myself this adequately.

 

[demonapocalypse]

First off, the hospital trip sensitized to something that we often do (not always) naturally and subconciously. Our midbrain brain does it for us (in a basic sense lol) In a sense you kinda woke up during that time and are still not recovered/figured out how to go back to that natural way of being you. Heres the thing, you managed to do it for awhile but you're still having doubts. We are socialized so it's ok to see traces, you're not being fake, because you're aware of it. So don't worry about being fake. You're still awakened but adjusting, don't worry. What you really need is full confidence. Take confidence in the fact that you've had an experience that unfortunately made you a more aware and sensitive person (at least that's my interpretation). It can be a blessing, but now you need to balance this sensitivity with social and physical reality of being a human in a weird social environemnt. People may seem stupider or annoying to you, but don't get lost in arrogance. Look at it as a blessing, imagine is that didnt't happen and perhaps you wouldve become a one track, basic person who could move through life seemingly effortlessly, but in the end couldent see things in a comtemplative manner. What I'm suggesting could be taken as "i'm better than people because i'm aware" doesnt have to be. Maybe it isn't whats happening to you. But take self confidence in the fact that you are seeing things from a perspective that others may not reach till much later in life. Lucky you. You still can have fun, but you gotta deal with a more perceptive mind! It's a challenge, but if you own it, and develop confidence in yourself aso through learning new skills and pushing yoursefl, PLUS you're perceptive "burden" you may end up living an extra rich life. Sorry it may be harder for you lol, ignorance is bliss. Not to say you're a fuckin buddha now but you dont seem like your average beer bonger. Good luck.

thank you for this, this has been on my mind a lot recently. I realized soon after posting this that this "being awakened" shit is why I feel so out of place. It was one of the millions of fleeting thoughts I had after I got out of the hospital but I just marked it off as my way of rationalizing what happened to me. But I now realize that its one of the main problems I have with myself/my life (I think at least)--I've always liked to think "deeply" about things but those thoughts never really influenced the way I lived, I just found it interesting trying to reason with the world. After I got out of the hospital I kind of had this in reverse--I didn't consciously think those thoughts, but I felt as if I had accepted them as a truth, things like everything being pointless and shit. The only way I could describe it is that I genuinely felt as if I were to drop dead I wouldn't care, not because I resented my life but because there was no longer anything I really wanted to experience (besides losing my virginity bc I was 14 at the time lol but even the sense of pleasure I got from that was very, very fleeting). The only thing that really ever motivated me was doing cool physical shit like rock climbing and weight lifting (ironically what caused my injury) and now its so, so far out of reach that I genuinely don't know what to do. I remember the first time I saw my friends after I got out of the hospital and legit just sat quietly thinking "how did I ever used to talk about this shit". But at the same time there wasn't anything else I wanted to talk about, just being there felt really fucking stupid. Its very, very rare that I would ever have an interaction with someone without thinking "who the fuck cares about this". Its never in a douchey/pretentious way though, I seriously envy everyone else. I would do anything to just have my mind shut the fuck up and allow me just enjoy things normally. I feel like an observer in every situation and it makes me feel so alone despite miraculously being surrounded by people that care about me. Even though I believe what im thinking makes sense I still feel like a fucking idiot for thinking like this, I feel like most people would see it as corny and stupid but it feels like the only way I can view the world. I've tried to look at the world in other ways but it takes a crazy amount of conscious effort and just feels so unnatural that I don't think its feasible as a long term solution. The only things that make me happy anymore are tv shows, especially anime (in a not weird way, mostly because it feels comforting seeing the characters work towards something that genuinely matters making them have some type of purpose in their life), oxycodone (makes me remember what genuine happiness feels like and allows me to actually enjoy things normally--I don't really like other drugs because the thought of me desperately taking random chemicals to pursue happiness makes me feel sad even though I find myself doing this a lot), and studying science/math independent of school (feels like the only thing that genuinely matters, since I was a kid I saw learning more about the universe we live in to be the only meaningful thing I could do). I really, really wish I could change my perception of the world, my existence feels so shitty, not even because of my circumstances, I live a blessed life in almost every regard other than what my body has been through physically, but I just cannot get myself to enjoy things without feeling like im straying from what I now genuinely believe to be truth--everything is literal shit. Sorry for the long reply, I guess it just feels good to convey my feelings in words even if nobody reads it. Thank you for your response though

 

[finitelifeform]

There are no rules beyond the ones we create.
Being real is to be a genuine fake.
Our beliefs about what real are are entirely social constructs that have no universal grounding in reality.

You can talk about psychotherapy (and I have studied this quite extensively over the years) and you come across congruence and self realizing/actualizing process etc. These are meant to be your organisms natural tendency to gravitate to aligning with your natural state of being. Think Carl Rogers and the humanistic psychology movement of the sixties. If you are mad then be mad. If you are sad be sad. If you are angry be angry etc.

That being said, to attach to the belief we have a concrete self to attach to is a fallacy. So there is no self realizing/actualizing process other than the ideal self we want to become, which again, is a creation and not something that exists on it's own and by it's own fruition. There is no concrete self. Really, there is no self at all. The self is a construct created by our ego which demands that we differentiate ourselves from others in order to create a barrier between ourselves and others. This is for our own survival and self protective mechanisms and it's a very normal thing to do otherwise we would simply be a homogeneous goop and no difference between you and me. This is why people with certain mental disorders really struggle because their ego is affected by their disorders and so they have difficulty ascertaining the difference between the external and the internal. You could put this down to biology and the functioning (or abnormal functioning thereof) of the brain. In fact, recent research into the brain have posited evidence that we can identify certain areas of the brain responsible for the creation of the self and perhaps even where the ego is. These are for the most part found in the left and right side of the brain and also to a smaller extent the frontal area too. When certain drugs are used, such as psychedelics, these areas have diminished activity and as a result our egos are, you guessed it, dissolved, at least temporarily, which leads to what everybody who takes psychedelics knows the understanding of the innate reality behind our everyday realities and essentially how who we think we are and what we think is reality is really just one layer out of many.

On a social and cultural level, you will find who we are defined. And that's where the ideas of genuine come into play. It's on this level that we say that you are genuine if you do this or do that or act like this or act like that, assume this role or that role, this or that identity etc. We have social norms that define what is acceptable and what isn't and along with that we then can define what constitutes unacceptable behaviour and unfavorable behaviour. That's where we look at those who are not genuine as suspects in a conspiracy to go against collectively agreed upon social constructs. These social constructs have benefits of course. We don't like serial killers, we don't like rapists, murderers, we don't like people who exploit children, we don't like people destroying our communities, stealing, lying and cheating etc. All these lie on a spectrum though and they are contained within, again, social norms and layers of complex social and cultural beliefs. Lying and cheating isn't really a problem unless it causes sufficient harm to someone else or society. Most things we talk about when we challenge the social norms are trivial and that's actually where real growth is because culture and social norms are supposed to be challenged. That's how our societies have evolved. It's when we stop doing that when we stagnate and things get dark.

You are supposed to find out what being genuine means to you. Just like you are supposed to know what being you is all about.
When we don't do that, we face problems. So it's not a case of finding all this out so you can fit in and become validated and accepted (although that helps but is not everything). It's about choosing sometimes not to conform at all so that the social and cultural norms do not become your prison and force you to conform to realities that can restrict you from your true potential and capacity while you are alive and breathing.

Either way it's all an illusion and yet you still need to have the conviction that it isn't otherwise you don't count for anything and you are just blowing in the wind.
You have to believe in something while at the same time having the awareness that nothing is concrete and nothing is universal. It's just our wild and vastly infinite imaginations at work because of yours truly, the monkey that became human.

 

[G_Chem]

I’ve heard people say we are personalities are based on the 5 closest people around us. I believe this to be somewhat true.

We mirror in some ways those around, that’s not a bad thing that’s just how people have learned to fit into social groups over millennia.

-GC