Around a year ago I had a couple of very different mushroom experiences, which for the convenience of this post I will consider my first real trips. The first was delightful and whimsical, the second I took the day after and did not enjoy at all. Through the few hours of dismay and depression I suffered, I probably hit rock bottom mentally. However, with some effort I pushed through this dismal mindset and found myself at a state I had not felt for many years: that of myself as a happy child, before depression set in and I eventually turned to full time pot smoking. This revelation was transferred into my own personal life and for the next probably 9-10 months I felt as happy to be alive as I had ever been. I probably took 5-6 more mushroom trips over this time, as well as a 1P-LSD trip.
A little over a month ago I found myself on a fortnight long weed binge due to easy access to pot. I quickly grew tired of this and quit cold turkey, and have now not had a smoke in around 3 weeks. I feel like I’m once again missing that hunger for life, not that I have once again fallen into depression (well maybe a little bit), I’m just a lot more grounded. Now that I look back over the last year, I can say that, post psychedelics, I was slightly spiritually leaning, eg feeling a oneness with nature and people around me, which now seems a mite bit silly I must add. I enjoyed the company of others far more than I did before and do now (I’m a loner by nature). I embraced the mantra of “live in the moment”, which I came up with during a mushroom trip, any time I found myself stressing about a particular issue, I simply repeated that to myself and found I almost immediately felt better. I have also found a lot of pleasure in purchasing and listening to music from various artists, to the extent of some weeks finding my budget stretched tighter than I want it to be. This particular point will continue to be the case as far as I can tell!
Over the last week I have been toying with the idea of taking either some mushrooms, 1P or salvia, and am currently unsure whether it’s the correct action for me any more. Am I “cheating” by taking a drug which I know will make me enjoy my life more? Is it sensible for me to blindly charge through my days in a cloud of delightful thoughts and good vibes? Should I shun my stash and undertake the journey of life from here on out with a mind which is non-mystical, coldly analytical, and prone to stress and anger? Which me is the real me? This is an issue I and I alone can come to answer. I hope these experiences will provide you with some food for thought. Please note that I am in no way suggesting that you will have the same response as I did to psychedelics! Be well