What Do I Do?

[Alfred22]

Yeah I always got turned down when I mentioned Xanax which I'm sort of happy about, I think Clonazapam is a much better option, a lot longer half-life so you don't have to take it so often and I believe tapering off it wouldn't be as brutal. No GP will prescribe me either so lately I've been self-medicating with Etizolam which works great. I've got easy access to them so it's gonna be tricky but I'm gonna do my best to stay away.

I actually had my first Chinese massage the other day and it was pretty brutal but felt very extremely relaxed afterwards. I'm definitly going to try meditation, stretching and will look into all this other stuff before I go back to the benzos.

I also stumbled across this today which has a lot of CBT techniques that seem like they could help: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/anxiety-techniques-111728/

 

[psytaco]

Alfred: If I were you I would steer well clear of using MDMA heavily (which most weeks is), because abusing it has been implicated in the later development of anxiety/depression, and would surely worsen the anxiety problems of people who already suffer from these illnesses. In my experience, abusing precipiated the development of anxiety and depression. You likely already have problems with your brain regulating serotonin regularly, and since MDMA does mess with this regulation its not something you want to play around with too much.

As for what someone said about SSRI discontinuation - yeah it is shitty. brain zaps, sweating, insomnia, anxiouness etc. but IMO it is nothing compared to what I felt on benzo withdrawal. that felt very very uncomfortable. also with SSRIs I never felt compelled to take more than my daily dose, on benzos I often felt the need to take excessive amounts to get more fucked up.

 

[pinkanga]

Yeah MDMA use should be limited to clinical settings. i.e. a one-off dose taken in an environment that is relaxing and conducive to personal growth, introspection, dealing with and confronting emotional blockages and with an guide/counselor to guide the experience. I truly think MDMA can be truly beneficial used in this way. This would avoid the associated anxiety that comes from using/abusing every weekend. For me, when I was partying every weekend, although I still loved it and wanted it to go out with I started to associate the drug with severe anxiety due to a variety of factors that Im sure most users would be familiar with.

Despite this I was still able to rock some serious insights into myself, my relationships, emotions, the layers of bullshit that we have to wade through every day in dealing with friends/family/strangers/whoever and I was able to ultimately change the type of person I was to a certain degree. While a lot of it still lingers in the folds of my subconscious it has nonetheless inevitable begun to fade.

I think a bi-annual session with a therapeutic administration of mdma in a controlled setting... either alone or in groups... with a shaman type character guiding the experience would super beneficial. Imagine if everyone in society was forced to do this. Maybe every 6-12 months....... Fuck me Id love to see the flow on effect from that. Who knows maybe it wouldnt work out, and society would break down. But just maybe the world would be a completely different fucking place with flow on effects to every level of western society and our dysfuntional capitalism backbone with super positive and completely unexpected and unforeseen changes.

Would be fascinating. It would make a great premise for a movie I think.

 

[DoctorChemX]

I asked for xanax for my S.A after trying a couple different benzos but got turned down, this was a while ago though, and I have built a bit more trust with my GP but am afraid I will get a bad addiction if I go down that path. Your description "without them id be sitting at home doing nothing all day" preety much sums me up though so I wonder if I should weigh the positives and negatives, I just have trouble making decisions.

I Like it how this thread is so personal, people are really open and
honest, it's like a perfect psycotherapy session, i'm certainly honest,
as i said, i've suffered from anxiety all my life, i was a loner and recluse
recently until i finally grew up and changed myself ( i just turned 22 ).

I Think many people on this forum abuse benzo's, because they are
talking about withdrawal effects, i've never experienced any withdrawal
effects after promptly stopping them, i've gone for weeks without them,
it's only recently i have a free-flowing supply from my GP. Alprazolam is
definitely the most social benzo i've tried, it's like having 5 pints of beer
in the sense that you become socially inhibited, without being drunk.

Valium is much more sedating and drawn-out, it lasts for ages, it's a real
light-headed drawn-out-feeling whereas xanax is more ' boom ' and temazepam
is much more pleasently sedating than both xanax and valium, very subtle but
powerful. The benzo's definitely differ in there profile, even though they all
are sedating and gaba agonists, they still have different feelings for sure,
i've never tried clonazepam, but i've been told it's a common benzo here
in aus for anxiety, even though the pbs says it can only be used for seizures.

It's only recently i've got a good job, and i'm around people alot, and i'm
much happier than ever, as far as i'm concerned, life is short, you might
as well enjoy it, everyday i wakeup now and live life to the fullest, i hope
you too can find that my friend, and pharmalogical tools are definitely
helpful in achieving an increase in life-quality, if not abused, for sure.

Regarding MDMA, it would be fascinating if everybody took it, a world
of love and happiness! Empathy, peace, and understanding, for sure.

peace

 

[Charles Bronson]

Yeah, like acting like a cunt after 4mg apraz (well in your case maybe 12mg ) to your family members and unleashing a torrent of bullshit on them with no filter. Like shit that has built up that you never say just pours out and it really isnt fair to the person on the receiving end.

Dude, so fucking true. Spot on right there. Last time that shit happened, I got 2 black eyes/back strain/multiple bruising/bumps on my head and concussion, and landed up in hospital with a fucking tube stuck down my throat. Later found out that they had to sedate me with propofol (even though I had 125 mg of Nitrazepam and Tramadol in my system). Doctors almost killed me, breathing went down so low. I was furious with the hospital, wrote em a fucking letter of complaint, nothing happened out of it except that I received a letter from some arsehole saying that my language was inappropriate in the letter. Meh, enough about me.

To the OP, dude, sounds like you're in a tough situation. Try Paroxetine 40 mg daily or Effexor 150 mg daily or Zoloft 100 mg daily. Comfortably numb, but it beats being so fucking anxious that you can't talk to people, even on the telephone, doesn't it? Also, for those real tough moments of social anxiety, I'd suggest getting prescribed either 1 mg or 2 mg Xanax tablets, keeping one on you at all times (in your wallet maybe?), and giving the 49 pills to someone you can trust.

Poor bastard.