• 🇳🇿 🇲🇲 🇯🇵 🇨🇳 🇦🇺 🇦🇶 🇮🇳
    Australian & Asian
    Drug Discussion

    Welcome Guest!
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
  • AADD Moderators: swilow | Vagabond696

What Do I Do?

A

Alfred22

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 7, 2012
Messages
13
Hey guys

I suffer social anxiety, I've been using various benzo's for about a year and they have helped a lot (presribed but also self-medicated as tolerance grew). I'm at a point where I know I have to give up the benzos as they won't cure the problem and my tolerance is just getting higher. I excersize reguarly and eat pretty well but it doesn't fix my anxiety. I've tried CBT and it didn't seem to work, just made me feel worse and more aware of my condition and resulted in a few panic attacks and fustration with the physcologist because I couldn't open up enough even though I tried.

I've passed the stage of benzo withdrawl and although it would be easy to order some more, I'm not going to and have a resisted for a few weeks. I'm only 21 and the only jobs I've had is in retail and although I'd like to work in a less social environment I can't seem to find work in one. Once I stopped taking benzos I left my retail job as I had expected. I'm now in a poverty trap. I have little motivation to go out and find a new job as I know I'm going to freeze up in interviews and my anxiety is going to set in.

The only other treatment that seems avaliable is SSRI's but I'm afraid it will destroy my passion for making music. I write very emotional lyrics that a lot of people enjoy and relate to and I'm afraid that taking SSRI's will take that ability away as I know it's a known side effect.

Now what is your advise? Should I just go ahead with what all the GP's say and just take their damn anti-depressants or is their other options? Also which anti-depressant should I take? I need to get back on my feet asap because as I said before I'm in a povery trap and also owe a lot of money so getting back to work is essential.

Thanks in advance.
 
Also I've tried Valerian pills from the supermarket as natural benzo replacement but didn't see any results, I've also heard a bout passionflower but haven't tried it. Any one had luck with these?
 
^ I've never had luck with Valerian, haven't tried Passionflower but I've heard more positive reports on that so who knows, could be worth a shot.

I understand where you are coming from with the idea that antidepressants will numb your emotions. That's what they do basically, they level out the lows but they level out everything else as well. I've been on a few with largely negative experiences, but my results probably aren't typical for everyone due to my condition.

I think though that if your condition is fairly serious, and it sounds like it, perhaps an antidepressant is the way to go. I'd probably go for something like mirtazapine, personally that was the one I've had the best luck with and did the most for my anxiety compared to other meds. They didn't fix anything for me though, like benzodiazepines they were a band-aid solution and I continued psychological work to conquer my anxiety. I still suffer from depression, but the anxiety has completely lifted which is fantastic. It took hard work, and when challenging the anxiety I felt more aware as you describe which made things bad at first but was essential to overcoming the problems.

As an aside, do you not think the benzodiazepines also numbed your emotions? I was addicted to benzos for a while and had no emotions at all, which led to me doing some terrible things...
 
Out of curiosity, is severe social anxiety related to having identity or ego issues? Or perhaps a lack of opportunity to express oneself and develop a workable social identity leading to self-doubt and identity/ego crises and consequently social anxiety due to not knowing exactly who you are how you fit into social situations... ?
 
Mr Blonde said:
As an aside, do you not think the benzodiazepines also numbed your emotions? I was addicted to benzos for a while and had no emotions at all, which led to me doing some terrible things...
Click to expand...

Yeah, like acting like a cunt after 4mg apraz (well in your case maybe 12mg ;)) to your family members and unleashing a torrent of bullshit on them with no filter. Like shit that has built up that you never say just pours out and it really isnt fair to the person on the receiving end.

Satisfying not having that filter though. Ahh so great. Express and say what you think when you think it. Can be a two-edged sword as its great for you as it allows you to avoid carrying a bunch of baggage around with you.... but so unpleasant for the target person (who is more often than not a loved family member, which obviously leads to next day guilt) who cops an intense torrent of shit that is more often than not completely inappropriate given the current situation or conversation.
 
^ That is so fucking true, I can't count how many times I have done that shit. :( Large doses of alcohol sometimes aren't much better...

Alfred I think you should stick with CBT and maybe consider going onto anti depressants, they aren't for everyone but I do know some people who have been helped a lot by taking them. I can't comment whether it would stifle your creativity but I find it hard to imagine that it would totally destroy your creative ability.
 
Hi Alfred,

I agree with what guys have said above about perhaps trying out anti-depressants. They sometimes get a bad wrap with some people saying they zombify you or whatever, but they have helped me immensely at a couple of times in my life when I was in a rut and needed a push to get out.

I also create music, and would you believe that some of the best stuff I've made (in my own opinion of course;)) happened in the months after I started taking a small (50mg) daily dose of sertraline (commonly sold as Zoloft)? It didn't take away my creativity but rather for a while it gave me a push to sort myself out and because I was really happy to feel I was making progress in life I was very musically free and productive.

Just another perspective for you.

Hope it works out, and whether or not you decide to go with anti-depressants it's good that you seem to understand that benzos are not a long term plan (unless your long term plan is to have a shitty life).
 
SO do anti-Ds basically work by quieting your internal narrative? Or is it just allowing you to feel happier due to an increase in the serotonin in the synapse.... or allowing the serotonin to hang around a bit longer? (ie. SSRI's... the name implies that the re-uptake of serotonin is inhibited implying that more serotonin hangs around for a longer duration allowing the user to feel a sense of well being).

Im obviously basing these deductions on a lot of what I know about MDMA.
 
Greetings my friend,

Thank you for an informative post. I Myself am just one year older
than you and suffered from social-anxiety all my life. As an adolescent
(13-17) i had it so bad i couldn't be around people. I Never used benzos
during that period, but if i had of, my life would have been better then.

Now at 22, i've naturally outgrown my social anxiety, and i work in a job
where i am constantly around new people, infact, most people don't believe
i could ever have been shy anymore, as i am so outthere and couldn't care
less about being around people. Benzodiazepines will help you, if they work
and if you don't abuse them that is, if you abuse them, they will not work.

If i where you, i'd try and stay on benzos, perhaps for the rest of your life,
so long as they work and you take them as prescribed, as for SSRI's they
definitely work it takes a while though, i'm on 20mg paroxetine a day and
i also take alprazolam .25 mg 3 times a day and the paroxetine works wonders
24/7 whereas the xanax is mostly just for when i need it. There are many SSRI's
the most common for social anxiety probably paroxetine, fluoxetine and escilatopram.

I Would not worry about them damaging your emotive abilities, they don't really
present many side-effects in most people, sexual dysfunction is the most common.
 
I think most people get over social anxiety issues by sorting out a workable social identity and also by playing a character that isnt false, but is a solid extension of your identity. Develop a solid ego then back yourself 100%

MDMA helped me shit loads with social anxiety back in the day (and at the time I wasnt even consciously aware of my own social anxiety). MDMA opened up a deep level of comfort with myself and others and all of a sudden I was enjoying social shit and looking forward to it even when not using drugs. I enjoyed who I was in a social setting and was super comfortable with that person. MDMA isnt always the way, but reaching a state of comfort with yourself should be the objective.

If you have enough discipline alprazolam can be a great kick-starter. For me - when I havent been out much and I wanna ease myself back into party/social mode - I find just 1mg before going out, then maybe another 1mg a couple hours later works great.
 
i found antidepressants work to a degree, but don't make you feel as well as you would normally. I found they helped a bit with depression and anxiety, maybe more than I think as I have been anxiety and depression free for a year now.

I think if it has gotten to the stage where your not doing anything in life, not hanging out with people and have no job, then you really have little to lose by trying antidepressants.

As for which one, its best to see a psychiatrist (way better than a GP) who will help you pick an antidepressant that is right for you. Trying different medications can be hit and miss, and it takes a while to find what is best for you. I had some success with zoloft, but you may not.

they do have alot of side effects. the ones I noticed were flattened emotions, lack of sex drive, difficulty reaching orgasm, and some weight gain. also the discontinuation sucked, although not as bad as benzos. If you dont have a girlfriend, you probably won't miss the lack of sex drive.

i think they might be worth a shot.
 
Thanks for all the responses.

I think it all stems from performance anxiety and just being shy for a majority of my life. I honestly think benzo use has given me some of the best experiences of my life but also caused a more severe form of anxiety since I've stopped using them. Feeling anxious even when I'm not in a social situation. For example I was just playing Playstation and I started feeling waves of anxiety and I don't even know why, probably still having withdrawls...

I'm an MDMA user aswell, I try to discipline myself to once a month but since stopping benzos it's turned into nearly every weekend which is another reason I'm looking at anti-depressants or possibly going back to benzos after seeing responses in this thread.

I've been looking around online at various Social Anxiety forums and seems like it involves a lot of trial and error on various anti-depressants with a lot of side effects which I'm not that keen on and like Mr Blonde said it's just another band-aid but I thought it might be a safer alternative then using benzos.

I'm thinking my plan will be trying to find a job that involves little socializing and only using benzos when going out and meeting new people, speeches, interviews etc.
 
Alfred22 said:
various anti-depressants with a lot of side effects which I'm not that keen on and like Mr Blonde said it's just another band-aid but I thought it might be a safer alternative then using benzos.
Click to expand...

What makes SSRI meds safer than benzos they are just as addictive, is it because when you go off them its classified as "discontinuation syndrome" as opposed to drug withdrawal which is what it actually is. It produces the same withdrawal effects....

SSRI have more negative side effects than benzos anyway IME
 
Hmmm I remember when I made a thread bout a similar situation a long time ago on here. I suffered the exact same problem as you. I know for a fact that mainly stimulants caused my anxiety and a few other things. Ever heard of the term "Rebound effect"? The things u are treating with benzos (anxiety) will come back once stopped but 10 times worse. Ive tried soooo many things, Valerian, passionflower, skullcap, damania, and few others that doesnt come to my mind smoked and in Tea with little to no effects. Tried Kava kava, different opiates stronger and weaker ones but just ended up adding another addiction to my life. Tried every substance under the sun almost. You dont want to be on anti depressants, it will fuck up your life and just give u another addiction or something that you wont be able to live without.

Try thinking back what actually caused your anxiety, if you cant then find an expert to figure it out for you that way you know what you will need to avoid in the future. You will need to slowly reduce ur anxiety levels. It will be hard but within time u will be able to. When I was using them I was always isolated, most benzo users are like that, they dont socialize with other people much. You cant use something to kill your thoughts and problems. U will need to look your problems head on. People talking about using other substances is just plain silly. MDMA just made it worse for me, yeah I was social on it but once off it I was back to square one again.

Firstly u need to set out a career goal. Thats what I did. Im going to uni soon so I can live my dream:) Do plenty of exercise, cardio and weights. What really helped me so sooo much is this 1 hour stretching program I have that u can do it at home, Ill give u a link where to download it. Every time I do it I feel so relaxed and anxiety free with no worries in the world and I feel great. Just as relaxed as taking a bar or 2. My tolerance was through the roof as well taking 5-6 bars / night at one stage. Always used to love getting wobbly on my feet from half bar with no tolerance but that doesnt last forever and nothing will. Yoga and meditation is awesome too. Works wonders. All I thought about everyday was how Im looking forward to getting home so I can just get high but now days I look forward to doing other things that I mentioned. There are other ways to get rid of anxiety apart from drugs but like I said it will take time. I had anxiety to the point where id get it when I was having lunch, was so hungry but my appetite went and had to force myself to eat, im not going to even bring up sleeping issues as they are horrible too.

Go out more, socialize with friends, all I did was lie to my friends saying I was busy just to avoid social situations and to get high. A girlfriend helps too to take ur mind off things. Drinking chamomile or green tea is cool too sitting in a bath tub full of bubble bath (Hot water relaxes ur muscles) used to do it alot when I had a major opiate addiction (Hydromorphone, oxys, morphine etc) All these little things can make a huuuge difference. Thats all I can think of at the moment but will def add more to it if I do remember more. Unfortunately my memory is out of whack from all the abuse but slowly returning and feeling 110% in other departments:) Good luck with it man, it is possible to get rid of it but with TIME. Anything is possible if u put ur mind to it, just remember that.
 
As much as everyone here seems to like their meds, I think you should try a more natural approach first, and maybe go back to the best suited medication if it doesn't work.

Meditation, body work (massage/counselling simultaneously) study your diet (wheat/dairy/sugar/caffeine have all been linked to anxiety believe it or not) and definitely more pyschotherapy. You need to find the right combination to crack it.

Benzos and anti-depressants mask symptoms, but as you know they can be problematic in so many ways.
 
Yeah the rebound effect after your benzos run out is never pleasant. I usually manage to get through it by constantly reminding myself that what Im feeling is just post-benzo anxiety and that I shouldnt take anything my fucking over-active self-destructive internal dialogue says seriously =D Doesnt completely eliminate the anxiety of course but it does allow me to move past any internal bullshit I might pose to myself and not get hung up on anything destructive. I try to imagine it flowing through me like a wave and remember that its just rebound anxiety and that Im probably not the biggest loser to ever walk the earth (or insert bullshit of choice here ;)).

Im sure you guys know what Im saying here.

I find Ive had enough ups and downs with alprazolam now (as in Ive abused them and suffered the consequences enough) that when I have them I can limit myself to 2mg a day max, in 1mg doses. Used in this way, in an intelligent manner Ive found them to be extremely useful. And if I happen to run out without saving enough for a short taper (1mg a day for a few, then 0.5mg a day) I know that the rebound anxiety is going to be extremely minimal.

But yeah its about having the discipline not to abuse those little fuckers is key. "another 2mg wont hurt.... itll just be today.... tomorrow Ill only have 1 to make up for it..... etc etc etc"

You know how it goes:p
 
Ahh yeah thats right lately have been getting the best massages, Chinese (first massage in my life) and later on a Traditional thai massage. Got some discount coupons to a place. Felt awesome after it or u got the happy ending ones............. LOL
 
3 to the 3 said:
As much as everyone here seems to like their meds, I think you should try a more natural approach first, and maybe go back to the best suited medication if it doesn't work.

Meditation, body work (massage/counselling simultaneously) study your diet (wheat/dairy/sugar/caffeine have all been linked to anxiety believe it or not) and definitely more pyschotherapy. You need to find the right combination to crack it.

Benzos and anti-depressants mask symptoms, but as you know they can be problematic in so many ways.
Click to expand...

I'll have to agree with this, but that's only my personal opinion coinciding with what the above says - and is by no means professional. I'm 17 and I've always suffered anxiety throughout my teenage years, but I've never used medication as a means of helping my anxiety or depression just because I found it unethical and, as you said, because I feel as though it would contribute to erasing some of my artistic ability. But as I was saying, diet and studying meditation could be an option for you if you don't want to rely on medication for your anxiety. I use alot of Crowley's educational yoga books to help me with when Ifeel the need to meditate, and I can direct you on that if you ever want to experiment with it. Also, welcome to Bluelight - I hope you enjoy your stay and solve your current dilemma.
 
Alprazolam is a miracle drug for social-anxiety. As people here
have said it is wonderful for meeting new people. I Take alprazolam
to manage the mental effects of anxiety, and i also take a beta-blocker
to treat the physical effects like trembling and fast heart-beat, plus
a anti-depressent as well to treat my anxiety in the long-term, so i am
really loaded up to my neck in pills every-day but they sure as hell help
me with my life, without them i'd be sitting at home doing nothing all-day.
 
I asked for xanax for my S.A after trying a couple different benzos but got turned down, this was a while ago though, and I have built a bit more trust with my GP but am afraid I will get a bad addiction if I go down that path. Your description "without them id be sitting at home doing nothing all day" preety much sums me up though so I wonder if I should weigh the positives and negatives, I just have trouble making decisions.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top