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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

What Are You Drinking? V2. Frosty Jacks - For The Discerning Pisshead

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Plus a dash of massively over-priced Fever Tree tonic and, at times, a slosh of some yon fancy still lemonade. Gin is quality, tonic is okay, lemonade is fekkin delish <3
 
5 am in La Paz and drinking Tequila with a few new friends with what appears to be a self refilling pile of cocaine. This continent is off its head. The places and people are amazing and for tourists its very loose and i suspect well organised so everyone including the local cops are happy. The sun will be up shortly and i am being conned into doing this pushbike ride down the road of death with no sleep. I think i will defer and go find an eatery and somehow get some food into me and might have to go find a brothel as I am primed for a shag with no other options. Better than killing myself on some crazy road on a pushy that claims lots of lives. Sex over death any day. Thats it from me until the next time.
 
I'd love to meet a self-refilling pile of cocaine some day! :)
 
CFC said:
I'd love to meet a self-refilling pile of cocaine some day! :)
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I'm sure you could with a self-refilling bank account!

I'm drinking red wine that had not one, not two, but three fucking flies swimming around in it intoxicated (only one made it into my mouth - the other two were dispatched)
 
Almost shitty enough to drink diluted lab ethanol (not denatured, just azeotropic ethyl alcohol). Not going to, but I can't sleep. I'm an emotional fucking trainwreck right now, after somebody I was close to killed herself.

I did knock myself out earlier, after hearing she'd died, this saturday, and then woke up to find out she'd taken her own life. A real sweet girl. I just wish I could go to her funeral. I don't have the money, or a current passport, and she is..was, albanian. Haven't been able to sleep since, found out early last morning, and no amount of chlormethiazole, oxy, morphine and moggies, muscle relaxers, clonidine, has been able to get me to sleep. I just can't get it out of my head, can't stop stewing in it. Hurts so fucking much right now that I just don't want to be awake and thinking about it. Artist in the lab, and an artist in the classical sense, really talented sketch artist. Did me something special, of the two of us, just days before she killed herself. I've only known since this morning and already I miss her so fucking much.

The weird thing was, yesterday night, I did too. I couldn't stop thinking about her, kept me awake. I had no reason specifically. I didn't know what she'd done, that I'd lost her. And all I could think about was her, that night, kept me awake. Almost, as if, well something felt wrong that night. Something felt, off, not right, I can't explain it, since I didn't know until today. But I had that sketch, her parting gift to me I think now, open all that night, couldn't bring myself to close it.
 
And sham, how could you drink that shite? wiskey is fucking repulsive stuff. The smell of it makes me want to throw up. Wine is revolting too, except for cherry wine, that has never seen a grape in its life, that I don't mind, but actual grape wine is foul. Wiskey is worse though. Its got a similar effect on me to isocyanides. I.e a reflexive retching or even throwing up. Just the thought of the smell is enough to make me want to throw up.

I might hit the ether later. If I can be bothered to make some non-solvent grade stuff from clean alcohol and 98% sulfuric acid (dripping dry EtOH into concentrated sulfuric acid at about 120'C and distilling off the product as it forms is a convenient way to make ethers, although care has to be taken not to let it approach 150 'C or else ethylene forms via further dehydration and elimination to the alkene instead of the partial dehydration/condensation to form ether(s), and the ethylene can further react to form diethyl sulfate (in the case of ethanol) which is bad news, its a powerful alkylating agent, although chances are exposure isn't going to leave you around long enough to have to worry about the mutagenic/carcinogenic properties, since its pretty toxic, enough so to make the hair on the back of my neck stand up preparing or using it deliberately. I've never tried to optimize it for diethyl sulfate, but its probably just a matter of getting the sulfuric acid hot enough and leading the ethylene gas through a piece of tubing resistant to hot, strong sulfuric acid, and through an airstone diffuser, although I've never tested those bubble-stones from pet stores against 150 'C + concentrated sulfuric acid, not sure if they'd survive the experience, not sure what they are made of. If they disintegrate no great loss since the airstones are pretty cheap, and the guy at the local pet store has given me a fair few freebies and money off at times, even sold me a pretty powerful air compressor that somebody traded in for store credit against a few fish, but turned out to be an oxygen compressor from a hospital or something like that, and whilst fairly powerful it also gives off a lot of vibration, so was unsuitable for fish tanks. So I ended up getting what would be, if new, probably quite an expensive bit of kit for a fiver, same as the credit he gave the person that traded it in, got money off things like sulfur and formaldehyde too before, after buying out their entire stock of sulfur, money off when buying up large amounts of plastic tubing (which, for some reason in this house seems to suffer from a remarkably high attrition-rate and need replacing rather often. Seems to have a habit of either turning white and brittle, or disintegrating after a while:p)


And nothing wrong with a good cup of tea. But milk in it? thats disgusting. A one-pot way to ruin a cup of good tea or coffee, I don't mind milk in milkshakes, or drinking it, but putting it in tea or coffee is revolting, I like white teas best, preferably made with hot, freshly made decoction of lemon balm and sweetened with honey. Been toying with the idea of trying it with lemon grass as well but haven't got round to that yet. At least its available dried, for when balm isn't growing and my plants have nothing to harvest, at least, if it works as nicely as lemon balm does.

White teas have a lovely delicate flavour. Although I like some dark teas, lady grey is probably my favourite of the darker teas. Even better with some lemon balm in it to complement its already citrusy flavour.
 
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Limpet_Chicken said:
Almost shitty enough to drink diluted lab ethanol (not denatured, just azeotropic ethyl alcohol). Not going to, but I can't sleep. I'm an emotional fucking trainwreck right now, after somebody I was close to killed herself.

I did knock myself out earlier, after hearing she'd died, this saturday, and then woke up to find out she'd taken her own life. A real sweet girl. I just wish I could go to her funeral. I don't have the money, or a current passport, and she is..was, albanian. Haven't been able to sleep since, found out early last morning, and no amount of chlormethiazole, oxy, morphine and moggies, muscle relaxers, clonidine, has been able to get me to sleep. I just can't get it out of my head, can't stop stewing in it. Hurts so fucking much right now that I just don't want to be awake and thinking about it. Artist in the lab, and an artist in the classical sense, really talented sketch artist. Did me something special, of the two of us, just days before she killed herself. I've only known since this morning and already I miss her so fucking much.
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Aww man, that's so sad, you sound devastated :(

Do you have someone irl you can just hang with for a while? Hope you got some sleep <3
 
No, I don't. And no, I haven't. One of her relatives came, temporarily to the clan.chem forum to give the news.

Not been able to eat, sleep or anything since. Some stuff is getting done, like the medical stuff I have little choice in, but its pretty much running on instinct at the moment. Turns out from what I was told by the person who dropped the bombshell, that I wasn't the only one, she felt the same, or at least, loved me back. And the ..just the way this has hit me so hard, I had no idea this was coming, no idea how hard it would turn me inside out.

Went on a long walk, to go pick some mushrooms for my breakfast. Got some puffballs, some ceps (porcini, Boletus edulis), a couple of the best finds someone could make and yet, all I could think about, was, whilst also eating a few blackberries from the bushes along the way, the space beside me where she should have been, alive, by my side. When my own fucking MOTHER died, I didn't feel a thing. Nothing. But with sovia? with sov gone, I am way, way past devastated. I have not been with anybody in a very, very long time, and cared like I do about this girl. If only I'd have told her, instead of having to tell her relative, so that they might say a few words for me at her funeral on my behalf. Maybe she'd not have killed herself. Right now I feel pretty much fucking dead inside to be honest. Hollowed out, running on clockwork.

The one thing I can do I suppose, that might have some meaning to her, not that she will know now, is that whilst half-heartedly looking for my breakfast down a canal towpath, is that I found some ergot sclerotia. The big mother of all psych chemistry potential locked up inside those. I want to make a proper project of it, no matter how long it takes, and dedicate it to her. That, and plant a tree in remembrance of her. Yew, I think, for its ability to last for centuries.
 
Something to focus on ahead like a project is a sound idea to take you out of the now a bit. When one of my best friends killed himself last year, we got together and planted some trees near one of his favourite spots on a small bit of land owned by his parents. It's now a little copse and I love going there.

Take care mate. Try and get some sleep somehow <3
 
I can't sleep mate. I can't even bear the thought of eating right now. Last sleep I got was for a couple of hours monday morning. By then I knew sovia was dead, but I didn't know she killed herself. Since finding that out, and even more so since finding out that seems as though she loved me as well as I, her, I just haven't been able to sleep. Doesn't matter what the fuck I take (out of nitrazepam, got a repeat rx for 10mg/d, chlormethiazole, got 192mg 3x/d, tizanidine 4mg, got loads, clonidine 25ug again loads, oxy IR and morphine XR. Or at least its meant to be morphine XR, in two different strengths, typically doesn't STAY morphine mind you, cimetidine, more gabapentin than I even know what to do with, and cyclizine for potentiation. Right now, if I didn't have an ondansetron script I'd probably be throwing up.)

Just lying on the fuckin sofa, with a progressively larger pile of emptied out oxy caps mounting up on the table. Might try a dose of pramipexole, see if it can help lift my mood a bit (its a dopamine agonist) enough to get me up and on my feet and into the lab. I think she'd like to be remembered that way. Being a psychedelic chemist, phenethylamines, psychedelic amphetamines mainly. But this, it'll likely take years, and not come cheap either in terms of resources poured in. Still, if a stabilized, productive ergot strain can be coaxed out from the wildtypes available, it'll get named after her.

I'm armed with these, plus some more, really, really fresh (mere hour or so after the ears of wild ryegrasses were cut from their stalks) sclerotia. Somewhere, some time, after gods below only know how many subcultures, mutagens, mitotic inhibitors (E.g colchicine), media changes (one needs a high-phosphate medium to get a starter culture going, and for production of lysergic acid derived ergopeptide alkaloids that can bee hydrolyzed to lysergic acid the production medium needs to be separate, and of different composition from the nurture medium used to first start the cultures, allowing the fungus to grow in the first, and in the production media, force it to rely on its accumulated intracellular phosphate stores, and then these begin to be depleted, before anything is likely to show up on a Van Urk/Keller's screening.

Armed with that load of sclerotia (Claviceps purpurea, rye ergot) and what is probably to be considered both the best all round primer, and at the time some state of the art, as well as the whole history of submerged fermentation culture for Claviceps species, plus an awful lot of reading and research already done, and whilst I certainly do not mean it in a boastful way, least of all when it is to serve as a dedication to a loved one lost, I am determined to coax a productive, preferably one that also produces ascospores (difficult to get producer strains to do so but not impossible) strain that does not degenerate with subculture. Or find a way to reverse senescence in cultures that become so if I can, and employ every last sneaky, underhand tech-trick, by hook or by crook, or by sheer autie bloody-well-mindedness and persistence (or perseverance as curebie cocksuckers would call it) in the book, and for that matter in the entire damn published literature on Clavicipitalean ascomycete fungi to get a stable productive strain out of it.

So that some day, there can be some proper blotter art, laid with one of the more novel lysergamides, in tribute to Sov, since I think she deserves no less than that effort to be put in, and that special, dedicated touch, as personal as I can bring forth. Something born essentially Ex Nihilo,To serve as a counterweight for the tragic destruction of such a special, sweet, kind, effervescent and talented, creative woman's life, hopes and dreams. For this, it can, and should be nothing more than a labor of love. Because she was, and is.


ergot.jpg
 
Thinking to do some REALLY good phet in her honour in the short term too. Celebrate her life in style as best possible. Something different, like she was, (I recall DON seemed to be her thing). there is something totally new in the pipeline, but thats going to need Red-Al rather than LAH, since it has an aryl bromide, and LAH might not like that much, and cause significant debromination, which is totally unacceptable. In fact thats it, NOW I know what to create, for something shorter-term and more predictable timewise than the ergot (still gonna happen though), Been wanting to have a test of 3-bromo-4-(1,1-difluoromethoxy)-5-methoxyphenethylamine and its TMA homolog counterpart. Thats the one that the Red-Al will be needed for. Only have a tiny quantity of the aldehyde though, 5g total. Just enough for both compounds. If more can be gotten hold of then a protected cathinone prodrug has already been planned for (as a pthalimidopropiophenone). Cost about £90-odd just for the 5g. But I think, that would be perfect. She was an adventurous soul herself, this, this would be something new. And maybe there was a reason it hadn't been done right away, more than just not having the nitromethane to do the phenethylamine act of that particular play. AFAIK, and as far as I can tell, if its ever been synthesized at all, ever, then its probably in some combinatorial array in some big pharma company at some point and never spoken of or published because I can find NO reference to it anywhere, other than by the guy that loved her, I think thats the kind of creativity that her loss, and the world's loss, deserves.

I think a trip would do me good too, quite honestly, help me catalyze the working through of a few things. Not, that I expect it stop it hurting like a bastard. Because its way beyond stressful, feels like my adrenal glands are being roasted over hot coals. Can literally FEEL the heat with my fucking hands over the upper kidney area. And I've had nothing chemical in me to make that happen. And damned if I haven't just come out of a seizure (stress makes them worse, or certainly more frequent) Didn't know where my chlormethiazole was at first, so I got stuck in it when it went paralytic. Could see, kept trying to reach for, some nitrazepam to do a similar job but my arms, entire body felt like it was made of lead. and I just couldn't lift the bag with the meds in it off the floor. Don't know how long it lasted, but they are fucking scary when they happen. creepy shit happens when those damn seizures start. This time, it was three voices, just behind me, talking, and one howling. In the end, when it started to turn myoclonic (mine start with a complete loss of muscle tone, an atonic/paralytic seizure and then turn myoclonic after a while. Had just about enough time between the two to neck a couple of heminevrin caps. Brought me out of it pretty quickly, about managed to get the fucking things down me without throwing the bottle across the room somehow.

This is just awful. she was one sweet girl. And to plant a tree is all I can fucking do, that and a grove of poppies when the season comes (and yes, I'll be tapping them. She'd expect as much:))

Made me laugh, always whenever getting a PM, hoped it'd be her rather than anybody else. Did manage to eat, and hold it down (so far), earlier. If it hadn't been for the first time in days and days, probably wouldn't have. Think last thursday was the last time, maybe the day before, so biology did its thing in making sure things stayed down. Maybe later, I will tackle those porcini mushrooms I found, and the puffballs. She wouldn't have wanted me to go hungry, no matter how shit I felt. But still. There just aren't words for how bad this hurts. I could almost feel her laughing, smiling, as she still should be, whilst walking down one of my mushroom picking spots, Just wish I could have taken her there some day, shared the moment. Because normally, there are few things I enjoy more than going mushroom hunting. But today, it was dull, lifeless and emotionless. Well not emotionless, but sov was all I could think about. Today has been, well just mechanically going through the motions. Even trying for some lab work, it wasn't the same. This isn't like me at all, when people die. I recognize it happened and I just keep going on as usual. Usually, not always but usually without the least difference.
 
My muscle tissue is drinking in a mixture of oxycodone with a little morphine added to it t spice it up some if that counts. Saving most of the morphine for something better though. But right now, making sure I'm numbed out to fuck with a few hundred mg oxy w/ a strip or two of morphine blisters (the gel-less caps, zomorph, ground up fine) (30mgs and ten mgs strips) added. Might take a load of moggies later if I still can't sleep.

Although best get my puffballs, porcini and other edible boletes out of the bag to make sure they don't go off, see if I can make myself eat tomorrow.
 
Limpet_Chicken said:
And sham, how could you drink that shite? Whiskey is fucking repulsive stuff.
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Really very easily cos you iz just plain wrong on this one. At least as far as my tastebuds go. Personally, I love the stuff. Although it is arguable in the extreme as to whether said stuff loves me ><

Speaking of which... not currently drinking but have been until rather recently:

glenallachie-distillery-edition-whisky.jpg


Sweet, smooth, vanilla caramel pleasantness - lingers just long enough to remind you of just how pleasing it was a wee while prior to you noticing said pleasantness second time around.
 
On my fourth drink of the morn (two cups of tea & a pint of Berocca came first), a strong coffee with lashings of 'Irish Meadow' (v cheap Baileys substitute) instead of milk
The bottle says it's authentically blended, which is a real relief
 
"Authentically blended"? Meh. "Suspiciously shuffled" is the way forward as far as British Wine + cream- based liqueurs go imo.

Although I must say I am rather partial to a lil "Irish Meadow" both in caw-fee and, my top tip, replacing milk for a bowl of crunchy nut cornflakes. My Xmas morn treat innit.
 
Yes, I don't even know what that means but the fiver it cost was the USP not the authentic blending and yes, I have also been known to pour it on cereal, on cake, on anything really
Smirnoff Espresso used to be my favourite for pouring in/on beverages & food when it was an offer, but haven't seen it on the shelves at all recently
 
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