"When I smoke I get these weird, intrusive thoughts about random things and I feel super self conscious and disgusted with everything."
I have exactly the same, it's reall tough to live with. However, if I smoke "black afghan" all these feelings disappear in an instant. My mind gets clear, these thoughts stop and I am actually quite confident. black afghan is so far the only strain that works.
Strains that don't work:
ketama, og kush, street weed, hea, border-afghan, CBD-Red Angel(17%thc and 17% cbd)
Strains that work :
black afghan
afghan-kabul
Strains that likely work too :
hindu kush
I think if you stop smoking these feelings will likely disappear in ~15 months. My plan right now is to get my hands on afghan weed.
I've found it's actually a quite common experience. The more you browse forums the more people you find who got these feelings with weed. For me it's a lasting feeling I have it even when I am sober. At the beginning I never had problems with weed.