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Vent/Rant Thread vs I'll tell you how I really feel (Triggering Content)

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I'm really upset that I let myself get to this point again, but also really hopeful and confident that I can get through this and come out on the other side better for it. I have my plan laid out I just have to buckle down and do what I know I need to do.
 
i was so happy to get off dope and stick with bupe then my back gets all fucked up and i'm right back to where i was before or worse FUCK there is probably no way for me to stop this bullshit
 
Effect said:
I'm really upset that I let myself get to this point again, but also really hopeful and confident that I can get through this and come out on the other side better for it. I have my plan laid out I just have to buckle down and do what I know I need to do.
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You will. I have faith in you. You'll come out the other side with a better outlook and a stronger person <3
 
In a fucking awful mood today...still dwelling on my failed relationship. It's times like this when I hate Facebook. I can't stop myself from FB-stalking my ex and the girl he left me for, and I just can't stand to see him so fucking happy while I'm this miserable. So, I'm drinking cheap vodka, listening to sad music, and generally just being an emotional wreck. I don't know why I do this to myself.
 
I work at my family's banquet hall/catering business

-There is a 98% chance that the bookkeeper is stealing

-One of our main kitchen/cleaning guys slipped and somehow hurt the back of his head and his knee. The big issue was his head because he slightly scrapped his knee (how he hit the back of his head and the front of his knee is still a mystery). Now he's going to physical therapy for his knee and his head quickly got better. Doctors didn't find anything wrong with either. He has past issues of blowing sickness/injuries wayyy out of proportion, but this is over the top. Workman's comp paperwork is taking up a lot of time when he probably didn't really get that hurt. This happened a few days ago.

-While she had her car parked in a parking lot a car side swiped my mother's car scratching up the drivers side front and back doors in the process. There's about $1000 worth of damage. She has insurance, but still a hassle. This happened yesterday.

-My step dad, who runs the business, went in for open heart surgery this morning. :\ My mom said the surgeon said that the surgery went well, but she hasn't seen him yet. :| As long as he's alright.

-My dog hasn't been feeling well. He's getting a little older now (he's about 10.5) and I'm worried about him. He keeps getting some kind of infection or something where the bottoms of his feet get sore. He's super stubborn and won't let us put anything on them so we keep having to take him to the vet for a different treatment. He has some pills he has to take now for it, but they seem to not be making him feel well. :( It's annoying how stubborn he is because he won't let us help him. I hate knowing that the pads of his paws hurt. Plus, he can't walk as much and doesn't want to run around (which is understandable if his feet are infected). However, it's super important that he gets exercise, especially at his age. He already needs to lose 2-3 pounds, which is a lot for a little dog and he can't get anymore weight.

Just needed to list this stuff out. There's a lot going on. This doesn't include my various drug problems, which are rampant and explicit.
 
^That really is a lot going on. Hope your Dad and your dog get better soon.<3
 
Carl Landrover said:
I work at my family's banquet hall/catering business

-There is a 98% chance that the bookkeeper is stealing

-One of our main kitchen/cleaning guys slipped and somehow hurt the back of his head and his knee. The big issue was his head because he slightly scrapped his knee (how he hit the back of his head and the front of his knee is still a mystery). Now he's going to physical therapy for his knee and his head quickly got better. Doctors didn't find anything wrong with either. He has past issues of blowing sickness/injuries wayyy out of proportion, but this is over the top. Workman's comp paperwork is taking up a lot of time when he probably didn't really get that hurt. This happened a few days ago.

-While she had her car parked in a parking lot a car side swiped my mother's car scratching up the drivers side front and back doors in the process. There's about $1000 worth of damage. She has insurance, but still a hassle. This happened yesterday.

-My step dad, who runs the business, went in for open heart surgery this morning. :\ My mom said the surgeon said that the surgery went well, but she hasn't seen him yet. :| As long as he's alright.

-My dog hasn't been feeling well. He's getting a little older now (he's about 10.5) and I'm worried about him. He keeps getting some kind of infection or something where the bottoms of his feet get sore. He's super stubborn and won't let us put anything on them so we keep having to take him to the vet for a different treatment. He has some pills he has to take now for it, but they seem to not be making him feel well. :( It's annoying how stubborn he is because he won't let us help him. I hate knowing that the pads of his paws hurt. Plus, he can't walk as much and doesn't want to run around (which is understandable if his feet are infected). However, it's super important that he gets exercise, especially at his age. He already needs to lose 2-3 pounds, which is a lot for a little dog and he can't get anymore weight.

Just needed to list this stuff out. There's a lot going on. This doesn't include my various drug problems, which are rampant and explicit.
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I haven't read all of that but sorry for everything that's going on. Sorry for you Dog and your Step-Dad. I hope that things get better soon.

Take care,

Evey xxxx
 
I went to a friend of mine's house to smoke a bowl and play some video games. All night he was in a shitty mood. Last straw was when he was bitching me out for using a bunch of glasses. I explained to him that one was for kratom and he said "oh that's your homemade remedy" with a strong hint of dissaproval. I peaced out a couple minutes later. He knows I use kratom and why. I don't take it every day and often take one to three weeks off. I just take it "as needed" to prevent my bipolar mood swings from leading to relapse on H (which is my greatest fear).
 
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weekend addiction said:
I went to a friend of mine's house to smoke a bowl and play some video games. He was bitching me out for using a bunch of glasses. I explained to him that one was for kratom and he said "oh that's your homemade remedy" with a strong hint of dissaproval. I peaced out a couple minutes later.
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Take it with a pinch of salt. If he's on something he's not thinking properly. I'm sure it's nothing personal.

Take care,
Evey xxxx


PS; I come across strange when I've had a drink; we all do after drinking/taking something, try not to take it personally.
 
Eveleivibe said:
Take it with a pinch of salt. If he's on something he's not thinking properly. I'm sure it's nothing personal.

Take care,
Evey xxxx


PS; I come across strange when I've had a drink; we all do after drinking/taking something, try not to take it personally.
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True enough. He is bipolar like me and hes had a bad day at work. Throw in the "on something" and he can be a bit strange. Still I had to go home it was ruining my night.
 
I need help. I'm in such a mess, I'm having to think of doing horrible things to make enough money to get by and just be out of withdrawals.
 
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Well fuck all the lazy co workers at my workplace, if I could line all them up and bitch slap each one of em' I would. That would satisfy me!
 
gr33n3y3z said:
Well fuck all the lazy co workers at my workplace, if I could line all them up and bitch slap each one of em' I would. That would satisfy me!
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hahaha exactly! Our shipper who I loathe the most quit without even giving enough notice to our company, and I am the only one who knows how to do her work so on top of a three man job I also did shipping today. Well I guess I better ask for a raise next month eh?
 
Herb, I would love to go as I really want to get better, and reckon rehab would help me sort my life out. I am struggling a lot, feel so weak and defeated. i hate admiting it, and am sick of it. I'm broke at the moment though, and can't afford food let alone rehab. :(

I really really hope the substance abuse will help refer me someday to a proper rehab. Until they do, I need to make a lot of money which I will struggle to do as well as feed the addiction on little to no money. Ah.

Thanks herb for always being kind and replying to me when I post. :)
 
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gr33n3y3z said:
Well fuck all the lazy co workers at my workplace, if I could line all them up and bitch slap each one of em' I would. That would satisfy me!
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Hahah everyone is lazy at my work except for me and a couple mexicans that work there. It sucks.
 
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I switched from serving to cooking because I got sick of doing all the side work.

My rant today is about the headwaiter . he has the biggest ego out of anyone I know. It is crazy....however, he has pretty much made it so no one works on the floor.
 
Fuck sake. I was supposed to move out of my house, which I can't stand, to another one in town on monday. I just woke up and g it a text saying I can't move in as the council think the room is too small. :/ I don't know what to do.
 
Eveleivibe said:
I haven't read all of that but sorry for everything that's going on. Sorry for you Dog and your Step-Dad. I hope that things get better soon.

Take care,

Evey xxxx
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The other parts weren't that important. Moreso just additional context for the various stressors that are currently happening. The last two, which involve the health of family members are a lot more important.

Thanks for the kind word. My dog is feeling better, but nothing is going to stop him getting older. That's just life. A sad part of life.

My stepdad, who has always been a fast healer, is not surprisingly, healing quickly. He had the surgery done yesterday morning (open heart surgery). He's already talking and eating meals. So fortunately the surgery seemed to go well and hopefully there won't be any additional problems.
 
I will half to count the hours of the day, for which we experience this - stemming from the chest, over the area of the heart - a feeling that feels like your soul is crying. You can explain it as sadness, but a physical sadness. From your toes, all the way to your the top of your head. You can explain it as depression. No energy. They have taken the positive enegry from us. Left over is the negative energy stemming from dishonesty, apathy, hopelessness - In That Nobody Will Care About Us.
 
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