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Vent/Rant Thread vs. Don't get in my way

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Smoky said:
I'm prone to be more depressive states ... especially in winter. Vit D and calcium indeed, and a lot of amino acids too. L Carnitine helps
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tried a mood light or whatever? i find it to be like a few minutes of sunshine in the morning while i sip my tea
 
Sunshine's nice.

At the end of a sentence I'm reading I forget what the beginning was about. Even if I read it 5 times. My eyes keep going right to left - left to right non-stop while reading.
It's so frustrating. I cannot even reply to a decent thread in peace. Everything is a struggle.
I gotta go outside today. Into the real world. It's been a while since I showered, and it won't happen today from the feels of it.
 
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Hey there, in Florida here. Trust me if you feel like complete shit, warmth and sun does help but at the end of the day you still feel like shit. I want to take another shower but my husband is here and will fucking nag me as usual.
 
I just had to make a scene when paying the rent at the bank. My heart was going off the chain, couldn't breathe and I had to wait in the line for 15 minutes. I'm generally super weak. Because of things like this is why I don't work or go outside. When it was my turn I realized they gave me the wrong bank acct number to deposit into last time. After searched my purse for the right one the teller wouldn't serve me, so I had to wait in line again. I sat on the damn floor because I just couldn't stand any longer. I started crying and hyperventilating. They suggested to call the ambulance. I hate to cry. I rarely do it. This was the day after I got my money ready to pay the rent, but forgot something else. So trying to pay my darn rent 3 times in 24 hrs really pissed me off. Thankfully some nice older lady saw me and stepped away from the teller so I can get my shit done. I was done in a minute.
Then this neighbourhood creep stood next to me at the lights, smiled and wanted to say something, but the green light came on. Eew!
Now I'll always be that girl that made a scene. Why don't I just fall under a car?
 
MissBehavin'_416 said:
I just had to make a scene when paying the rent at the bank. My heart was going off the chain, couldn't breathe and I had to wait in the line for 15 minutes. I'm generally super weak. Because of things like this is why I don't work or go outside. When it was my turn I realized they gave me the wrong bank acct number to deposit into last time. After searched my purse for the right one the teller wouldn't serve me, so I had to wait in line again. I sat on the damn floor because I just couldn't stand any longer. I started crying and hyperventilating. They suggested to call the ambulance. I hate to cry. I rarely do it. This was the day after I got my money ready to pay the rent, but forgot something else. So trying to pay my darn rent 3 times in 24 hrs really pissed me off. Thankfully some nice older lady saw me and stepped away from the teller so I can get my shit done. I was done in a minute.
Then this neighbourhood creep stood next to me at the lights, smiled and wanted to say something, but the green light came on. Eew!
Now I'll always be that girl that made a scene. Why don't I just fall under a car?
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i got like that yesterday on the bus and had to have the bus driver stop the bus and let me off

Then continued to vomit
 
The real reason is because I never think they're going fast enough and I don't wanna become crippled for the rest of my days. 2 is I'm embarrassed. 3 I wouldn't wanna ruin someone's car. But if I actually die I wouldn't care about none of that.
Do you think you'll get a transplant D?
 
Wtf the lab is closed, I've been fasting for 12 hours... I'm not a happy camper.
 
happy new year all...

wouldn't mind this cold if my skin wasn't so dry and itchy, picked up some almond oil at whole foods earlier and that is helping. mood has improved after adjusting to shorter days. sometimes i find myself just chillin in a good mood and think like "wait shouldn't i be feelin down or something..." but just going with the flow. looking forward to the new year as there will be some changes that have been a long time coming.

be safe out there...
 
Years are going by like cars on a freeway for me, Pimar.:\ I can't quite believe it either.

One thing that is really strange for me now is that having the knowledge that I am in the last quarter of my life, with three quarters already behind me, the new year looks less like an open frontier and more like a perfect moment that I'd better savor because it is going to be gone before I blink. I'm trying to accept that but sometimes it makes me sad. My sense of the future was so open when I was young. Now my sense of the future is like the last days of summer--you don't know when they will end but you feel them moving. Makes them more intensely loved and I'm grateful for that.
 
Years sure to seem to go by a lot faster the older I get. I turn 25 in ten days and the last five years are nothing but a blur in which I realiy have my accomplished anything notable or worth mentioning. I had and still have a ton of growing up to do.

People have been getting to me at work a lot lately. I recently got promoted to assistant kitchen manager. A lot more responsibility has come with this promotion as is to be expected, and I feel I deserve to be paid a lot more then what I currently am considering how much I do there. My evaluation is coming up soon so hopefully a raise comes with that if not I won't be able to help but vocalize my disapproval not that it means anything to the big boss. Been pretty combative at work lately, quick to go off on people for what I think are justifiable reasons but sometimes it is hard to tell whether I am out of line. Very manic lately but it's self inflicted. Need to get my head on straight feeling down for no reason at all.
 
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