the situation u r in is very messed up.... i have a FRIEND WHOS FATHER SHOT HIMSELF with a shotgun, my friend was about 7 yrs old at the time, he heard the shot and ran into the room to see his father layin there.....
now hes been thru the hole heroin, cocaine, every hard drug there is bullshit.... he now just smoked weed but has a terrible life...due to his bad dessisions
yes opies are the best for short term relief, but the question is...do u want to get better for the future or worse for the future... cuz u can fix ur problem for a few hours, but not forever, and ur problems will just be getting worse..
try talking to people, like therapy, it WORKS ...
true happiness will come thru being clearminded most of the week, making money to keep the bills paid, having a place to go back to AKA a fucking house or apt...having a girlfriend...having a hobby like sports, working out, shootin guns, paintballing, skydivin... anything to keep u happy and looking forward to life...
if u think ur depressed now, wait til ur a year deep into heroin shootin up 20 bags a day, which will turn into 10 years 30bags a day JUST TO GET BAG, needing 40bags just to get high... and it takes u 5 shots to even get a rush, now thats pathetic